Exhausted

[sticking_it_out_]

So I seperated from my ex 3yrs ago and it's been very messy since, we have 5 children together ranging ages 3 -22 our oldest daughter sided with my ex and didn't talk to me for a year and blamed me for a lot, my twins who are 15 don't want nothing to do with there their father for the past 6 months they haven't been back in his house for over a year, they refuse their words is they don't trust him, their has been some emotional abuse and I have had them in counselling, but they decided 4 months ago they no longer want to attend

Our 16 yr old son sees his dad the most, but when my son is there when I call him he declines the call, I have text him as well, a few weeks ago when my son was here, he told my son that he was going to bash his head in if he didn't come to his house and help him fix the truck, so 2 days later my son went back and since then my son has been very distant towards me.

Should I be concerned, as he told his brother his trying to come home but his father is a control freak.

I am feeling worried, and anxious, I have been told there is nothing I can do because of his age.

[Kayau]

This would be so difficult on you right now as mum sitting back having no control over all of this but at the end of the day these are your children!! No parent should ever force a child or threaten a child to do something, maybe dad is feeling upset by the others not speaking to him but he is taking the wrong approach. Putting all grudges aside can you and dad communicate? It might help in this situation

[sticking_it_out_]

Hi thanks for replying, everytime I try and talk to him about it, he just blames me, takes no ownership for his actions, and makes threats to take me to family court over not forcing the boys to visit him.the boys have told him what they need from him, his response is he don't own anyone crap, and that it's your mother's fault.

This is stressing me out, as my ex goes thru phases of feeling sorry for himself to complete anger towards them.

Maybe the courts is the only way to go, and that is scary in itself.