Father of two young kids, suffering depression/anxiety

[G_J_H_]

Hi all, I am a father of two ( both under 5 ) and have suffered depression ,i believe, since i was a child. Financially we are going week to week with mortgage and bills, i have a good job but the pressure is sometimes extreme. I have tried medication, counselling with not a lot of improvement. I love my kids with all my heart and i want to get better for them more than anything. My energy levels are erratic, this is easily disguised because i work shift. My mood is erratic, i am not aggressive but i do get angry and upset easily and it takes me sometimes days to recover from trivial encounters which is i guess all part of this. As far as friends, i have them but work and life has us all separated to an extent as all adults are i guess. Some of them have/are suffering from similar illness although they have different symptoms. We barely talk about it though. Family wise, although not close either geographically or emotionally, we do talk. I know my illness is not uncommon in my family which also bothers me for my childrens sake. Not really sure where this goes from here but would sure like to speak with other Dads dealing with depression i guess to start with. Thankyou

[MarkJT]

GJH, first off welcome to the forums. It is a very caring and protective environment and you have done a good thing coming here looking for advice.

You clearly have sought assistance with this before which is great. Can i ask, with the counseling, was that done with a psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, did you feel a connection with them? I ask this as it is really important to have a good connection with your treater. It then makes it easier to open right up which results in more effective treatment.

With the meds that you were on, they appear to have not worked out that well. Did you try any others? Sometimes it can take a few different types of meds before you get the one that gels with you the best. I wouldn't discount using them again. I went nearly two years into my recovery from PTSD, depression and anxiety before i started medication and after the first batch was a flaming failure, the second kind works really well.

With the finances being tight, you can go to a bulk billing GP and get a mental health plan. This will also enable you to get a number of free psych sessions but again, I must reiterate that it is so much more helpful when you have a good rapport with the psych. Test it out and see how you go.

How is your diet? Do you exercise? Alcohol intake? All of these play a huge factor in your mental health so any positive changes you can make in them, is going to serve you really well.

Have you checked out beyondblue's man therapy? If not, get on it. Follow this link: https://www.mantherapy.org.au/?theme=brian.

See how you go with the questions above and then we will continue to chat and work out how to get you up and about again.

Cheers

Mark

[blondguy]

Hi GJH

Welcome and good on you for posting....it takes a lot of strength

Im sorry that you have this horrible illness. I have a 25 year old daughter that lives away from home and this is my 21st year with diagnosed depression. I feel your pain

You are a great dad to want to heal not just for yourself but for your children too! getting upset/angry easily are symptoms of depression as you know. When our mind is 'tired' (depression) we tend to have a shorter string.

Working that shift roster is hard enough let alone doing it with depression. I really dont know how you do it.

The counseling and meds are a ongoing part of managing depression. Before my depression I had 13 years of chronic anxiety and thought I could self heal only with minimal counseling. It didnt work.

This is just my recipe for finding some peace and stability and work with it.

* Regular therapy (fortnightly is good....weekly is better)

* I had free therapy weekly for 7 months years ago with a community based mental health worker and this guy gave me my life back. He was a psychiatric nurse but is still the best therapist I have ever had.

* I still see my GP regularly for a 'tune up' when my thinking goes astray....a great way to vent and heal

* Time, patience and a strong determination to recover (partially) is a must

* Medication isnt a fix all....It does though provide us with a solid platform on which we can recover more effectively using the therapy (and a GP's help) and all the various coping mechanisms

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you GJH. The forums are also a judgement free zone as well.

I hope some of this has been of help....Can I ask how severe your anxiety is?

you are not alone here at all, I really hope you can get back to us at your convenience, even if you just want to chat

my kind thoughts

Paul

[G_J_H_]

Thankyou MarkJT,

Not sure which profession they were but connection was a negative, in part due to my reluctance to "try" and communicate.. Currently off D meds.Diet/Fitness are ok but im not running BFAs under 10 anymore if you get where im coming from. Alcohol intake is not excessive/ regular/at all around my children. I unfortunately only drink to excess which i acknowledged years ago. I have been using some other medication, probably more to sleep than any thing else but it isnt probably helping my depression. I also can only use these off shift due to the nature of my civilian employment. I will check out the link over the next few days ( currently on night shift )

Thankyou again sincerely for your help and input,

[G_J_H_]

Thankyou blondguy,

I appreciate your points and value an obvious survivors methods of dealing with this. Anxiety wise im ok, thankyou

Sincere thanks for communicating, i feel better for talking and hope i can continue to do so with like minded strong survivors , it has helped

[blondguy]

No worries at all GJH and thankyou for taking the time to reply to everybody too 🙂

Great to have you on the forums.

my best

Paul