Don't have confidence in getting help

[Kotaro]

I'm somebody with ASD and ADHD, and for the longest time I've always been able to do pretty decently in spite of this. I'd say that starting from 2020 onwards, my mental health has started to slowly decline. I'm now a pretty pessimistic and irritable person, and I've been known to always be complaining about something, it even feels like i WANT to be sad and upset sometimes. I've noticed that especially recently, I've been crying and getting irritated over things a lot more. I also have lost motivation for basically everything in my life, exercise, schoolwork, hobbies, healthy eating, self-care, i really just never feel motivation or drive for any of them. My health in general has declined, and I'm constantly in a state of fatigue and boredom. I seem to just totally lack any self-confidence, and I'm very hard on myself when basically anything goes wrong. While i have ASD and ADHD, things have never been this bad, and I am also medicated for my ADHD. I am very certain that there is something else going on, and that i desperately need a psychiatrist I'm halfway through Year 12, and being so close to final exams has finally made me realize just how bad I've gotten. The loss of motivation i have gotten has seemed to just halt things like me getting a job or drivers licence or anything else i should've done by the time i am 17.

I have a psychiatry appointment later this month, but i honestly don't have much hope for it. I don't feel like I'll be able to open up to my psychiatrist, I'm also very bad at articulating my feelings in a way that is that coherent. I know that fixing whatever issues i have is going to be a long and painful process, and knowing that really just scares and discourages me. I just want all of this to be fixed now, but of course it won't be that simple. I'm scared of the thought of having something like depression, and i don't want to have to deal with something like it for the rest of my life. I hope that at the end of the day i can just get the help i need, without those self-doubts trying to stop it.

[geoff]

Hello Kotaro, hi and welcome.

I am really sorry you to cope with all of this at such a young age, and can I suggest you tell your closest friends who won't spread the word around that you are visiting a psychiatrist.

If half the schgool know about it this could cause you more concerns, if however, you have told people then please don't worry, we'll help you with this, so don't be concerned.

You are in year 12, not an easy year to handle because there are so many other facets of life you may want to achieve, which could be causing you to feel this way.

If I can suggest write down what you think you want to talk about with them, try and do this in point form, if you write it down in essay form, the psych may lose the important points and want you to explain, whereas in points they can gradually get the conversation going.

You should not worry about this, I know you are but there must be much to discuss and all of this can't be done in one session.

It will take a couple of appointments to know if you like this person, because this is important, you want them to help you, but you have to feel comfortable in opening up to them.

After a very long period I suffered from depression/anxiety, but now, none of this has bothered me for quite a while.

They may also suggest medication, starting on a low dose, and as much as we say don't google this medication, simply because the company has to mention everything about this medicine, we seem to do exactly this, but your body may react in a positive way.

Please get back to us.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Kotaro,

Thank you for posting on our forums. It takes great strength and courage to write about your struggles. We are a very helpful and supportive community, and you are welcome here.

We understand that you have been feeling the weight of your ASD and ADHD much more keenly as you are completing your final year in high school. We also understand that you have been feeling more sad and irritable from the pressures and expectations of your peers.

It is good that you are going to see a Psychiatrist later this month, even though you are concerned about how much the doctor might actually be able to help you. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed at any time, feel free to call our counsellors on the BeyondBlue 24 hour support line at 1300 22 4636. You may also call Lifeline on 13 1114. This is also a 24 hour per day service. Finally, you might call Kids Helpline (for ages between 5 and 25) on 1800 551 800. All of these services are free to call.

Please remember that we are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.