Depressed feeling of alone isolation misunderstood judged and Ashamed

[Ramani]

Hi all, Thought id Vent here as Im sick of FB & pple fake caring 😕 Im hoping more luck here 🤞🏻🤞🏻 Im 32 years old & have 2 beautiful boys of mixed race 👦🏽🧑🏽 The reason Im here as i suffer alot of diff Chronic Pain Issues & Depression Anxiety. 1 of my boys has Special Needs so life can be difficlt. For the past mnth Ive becme very Angry & dettached with 🌍🌎 I havent had the best childhood, Mother left wen i was 5yrs. She up & Abandoned us all then had Family with sme1 else. Even though she claimed she cldnt handle my 2 siblings & i. She hsnt made effort to contact us 😭 This is actlly wen my ability 2 not handle ppl not listening not understanding my viewsy some idiots dnt care dnt acknowledge my feelings emotions wat ever they may be.

Angry at the 🌍 for pushing me aside not letting me Voice & Feel. For example my son's bday was recently 🎉 i invited 30+ ppl on my FB. The only thing that came of it was so called friends lying to my face abt y they cldnt come, Faking sickness. I cldnt even make a vent on my FB as ppl certain will jump dwn my throat & somehow turning it bak on me. All i wanted for my son was 4 him 2 enjoy his bday but no apparently that was 2 much to ask 4 😥😥

My whole life Ive dealt with ppl putting me dwn lying 2 my face using me abusing me. Metaphorically beating the fact Im not good enough 4 any1 Im 2 weird to quiet to loud. Im to negative. The list of it just goes on & on. 

[mocha delight]

I’m so sorry you’ve been made to feel this way so first of 🤗 to you and your son and happy belated birthday to your son. I used to get bullied as a very young child for being cross eyed, had that fixed then had to wear glasses for a while (was bullied for that to), have a learning disability (another reason I was bullied), start stacking on weight (more bullying) and now I’m 31. I’ve not been officially diagnosed with anything yet although this past week (since last Friday) I’ve been on a antidepressant which I’ve never been on one before so it’s all fairly new to me. Although if you ever need to talk I’m here for you ok and I’m a good listener to but no pressure or anything if you don’t want.

[Ramani]

Thank you ☺️ ... Its just so hard and i dont understand why i dont fit in anywhere. Why Im not good enough for any1 😥😥 3rd wheel thats just ignored treated like poop! People can be cruel cant they?!! 

[therising]

Hi Ramani

It can definitely be tough when we're surrounded by people who bring us down, put us down or keep us down. I believe the greatest challenge in this case is to refrain from asking the question 'What's wrong with me?'

You mention your son has special needs. This may sound like a bit of a strange question but is it possible that your son is offering you something you need? Could he be and even greater gift than what you already perceive him to be? While kids with special needs are typically labelled, once you take the label away you can find they have much to offer that the rest of the world can be oblivious to. As an example, whilst some kids can be labelled 'Autistic', to observe them in a rocking state whilst humming is no different to observing someone in deep meditation rocking back and forth humming. Both are considered calming exercises. One person does this naturally, whereas the other has learned to do it in a meditation class. Kids under labels have natural abilities we can miss seeing or understanding.

Wondering what natural abilities both your kids bring to life.

One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was to find a circle of people who I would naturally vibe well with. Seeing I'm one of those spiritual gals who loves all things natural (aka known as one of those who's somewhat into all that 'weirdo psychic ', hmmm), I find that most people I know in life, in general, just don't do it for me. To gravitate toward those who can raise you to see and experience life differently or more naturally can make all the difference, especially to self-esteem. Example: You can be dealing with a lot of folk on Facebook who can perceive someone with special needs as being flawed. Suddenly, you become part of a community who says 'Okay, so what special abilities do you and your child have?' This circle of people feels no need to focus on perceived faults. They're very focused on support, growth, empowerment and sharing inspiration.

I have found you can either fight against or hate the world or you can focus on finding the people who you vibe with. Finding those we vibe with opens up a world of possibility and excitement. In this case, finally we begin to find that elusive flow people talk about.

In my opinion, someone who's labelled as having 'Special needs' needs more attention because they're incredibly special in so many amazing ways.

🙂

[hob2]

saddly, most of us now see that FB aint the place for genuine ppl.