Dear Jazza36'er~
Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. We listen because we care and want to help. Having had struggles makes us that way.
The first thing I'd say is that you write a fine post, it clearly sets out the problem, what your life has been like and how things are now. I guess this is in great contrast with trying to talk with people when mind-blank sets in. Actually I think writing is a different ball-game, it's not rushed, less pressure, and nobody looking at you and expecting things.
Whatever others would say I'd most definitely regard this as a big disability.
Although a lot of pretty horrible things have happened to you , losing your house, being bullied, having to beat a gambling habit and the rest there are some good things. A circle of friends who hold you in high regard and a girlfriend who cares and is there for you. I'm very glad you are not alone.
I'm not a doctor, just someone who has anxiety and bouts of depression. You mentioned having had some treatment for these. I'd suggest that if you are not greatly improved then the treatment has not done all its job. Maybe you have been treated for gambling or depression and not anxiety, or it's just your regime was not effective. I would not know.
If I was in your place I"d go back to my GP and have a long consultation. In that I'd say how things are now and you need to improve. As you may find it very difficult to explain by word of mouth I'd consider writing everything down first - much as you did here - and then handing over the paper in the appointment. See how you go.
If you look in The Facts menu above you will find out about the different sorts of anxiety and depression, what causes it, how it comes out in people's behavior and feelings, and what the treatments are. You can also have a browse around this Forum to see how other people have got on.
I'd like it is you posted again and talked some more
Croix
