Being me

[Emotions26]

 I cannot work out how to see all of the discussions

How can I read all responses?

Confused and lost before coming here

Who do I ask and how for help?

The above was written last night - day 2 of joining BB

I have responded to several posters and received some lovely replies.

I have also responded to a post written by a member a while back expressing confusion about new set up here.

Now I feel that I might have intruded upon that person's personal space.

So I went searching.

Somewhere found the suggestion start with introduce yourself - have no idea now where that is - no matter - I am here now

Then I thought.

I will start a thread or post or page myself.

Possibly nobody will reply and it will sit and collect dust.

If I don't try, I will never know.

So I have come to this place BB to extend my practising being me which I have commenced in real life.

Not an easy exercise and most people who know me are not particularly enthralled with the emerging of the new me - no surprise really as I have spent far too long listening to everyone else's egotistical chatter.

I found by chance, yes, a thread or passage by someone writing about an analogy of their life being a performance on stage.

I wanted to reply as the words intrigued me and I would love to be able to converse with that person.

I too am extremely  deep.

Well, I could not work out how the page seemed different again!

So being me is proving to be as difficult an exercise in the virtual world as it is in the real world.

Any thoughts.

Should anyone find this; read this and want to continue the conversation.

It would be nice to hear from members who are replying because they want to as much as support from champions and other titles is appreciated.

Thank you if you have read this far.

[smallwolf]

I guess it can be a little confusing when you start here. And I would also say that what you wrote also makes a good introduction for yourself. And if you want to, and when you feel ready, you can talk a little about yourself and what you might be going through. And if you feel comfortable replying (or conversing here, it will make it easier if you go into the other parts of the forum. 

A good place to start might also be in the social area 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/bb-social-zone/bd-p/c1-sc1-b2

where you will find a few "games" you can take part in.

Lastly, I want to commend you for giving the forums a go and replying to the posts of others. I have also been in the position where I wonder how my post went for the person I was replying to. But I want you also to know that replying from a place of caring is a good thing. 

Take your time and enjoy the experience? Listening ...

[mmMekitty]

Hello again, Emotions26

Good to see you again.

For myself, I've been 'lost' for many years not really knowing who I was, trying to avoid feeling anything, just existing.

It's taking me a long time to figure out who I am, what are the ings I like about myself, & to in general, feel good about myself.

I don't think it's easy to be ourselves while we are unsure about who we are. It takes some confidence in ourselves & then some courage to face the possibility people won't like us when we show them who we are, wehen we voice our opinions & feelings.

I sometimes have thought I've made mistakes in how I responded to someone, whether here in BB forums, or in my dealings with people I talk to in 'real life'. When I do, I want to apologise & let them know I understand the mistake I made.

As Wolfie says, this would be a good thread to talk about yourself, in general where you are at, things going on for you,

I enjoy some of the games we have in the BB Social Zone, along with the BB Cafe.

Maybe I'll see you there?

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Emotions26]

Hello mmMekitty

Thank you for your reply

Some of your thinking is similar to mine. I might have moved on and away from people and be further down the road that I am now travelling on so to speak.

Still as interesting as we never know where every new road takes us or how long it is laugh. It could be a cul de sac.

I have managed to confuse myself which is no small wonder.

I have two places or threads

This one,

Being me

and

Don't feed the monster under the banner of depression.

I have also replied to other posters.

So people can reply if they would like to on either one.

I have probably spoken about bits and pieces of myself on both.

Describes me perfectly really

All over the place.

I also do not want to talk about too much of myself either.

I have shared something somewhere with someone feeling in a similar way. I don't remember where though.

Trust is a major factor for me as has been trodden all over too many times.

I do set boundaries.

Unfortunately some family members think that they are not there for them.

Enough said

Thank you for reply

I appreciate your time. You are probably already replying to several people if you have been on the forums for a while.

[Emotions26]

Well I think that I have worked out why it is so quiet.

I found that I had 99 kudos listed under my profile when I went investigating.

I am trying to find out about this hidden site.

I did not get as far as kudos. Still don't know what they are and where I see 99.

I have seen support section acknowledged several times - not 99

Then I found the feedback thread out of the blue it was at the top of the page.

Wrote on there about my surprise not only at date but that it was on it's lonesome

Then I noticed in the left hand column faqs

Went investigating

Did not get very far down the list at all.

It appears that I have breached the guidelines several times within three days.

I now think that perhaps I am not the right fit for these forums.

No different to the real world.

I have not noticed any deletions or stern messages.

I have not checked my emails though.

So will wait to hear from the guardians before writing any further.

I am not here to upset anybody.

[Emotions26]

Hello BB world

I found this post again that I started when I was wandering around aimlessly over the first few days of landing in BB world.

I have another thread already mentioned several posts prior.

This one is a different subject though and being me is something that is very important to me.

I will even go as far as saying that I now know that I have been working towards being me for my whole life.

I have achieved this.

Persistence is an attribute that has been my friend.

Determination also has been with me on my journey.

I would describe myself as more optimistic than positive when not falling down the rabbit hole of the dreaded "d".

I remind myself that people without "mental illness" have emotional swings, rides.

I think that I am getting better at not being so very hard on myself which is a strong pattern of a lifetime.

I have had strong compassion for others my whole life and easily recognised when to support and encourage others. I have not applied this same reasoning to myself.

Now I am learning that life is more about balance than success.

I would be very interested in hearing the thoughts and strategies of others if anyone is interested in discussing the topic of "being me".

Look forward to hearing from someone.

Emotional26

ps I am not a cafe person. No offence.

I also tried following the word games and at this stage I will gain more from writing and hopefully receiving some responses.

I also write on another post or thread.

[smallwolf]

I will write on "being me" later... hard one.

Right now the easy bit to reply to is about the bb cafe comments you made. I had a small chuckle at your comment. I understand those types of games are not for everyone. Though I am curious what things do interest you? Painting? Games? Gardening? Cars? ????

[mmMekitty]

Hi Em 26

I'm not sure what 'kudos given' refers to, how & why the number is what it is. (in the statistics on your profile page), just that 'kudos' are good things, like acknowledgements of something good a person has doe, which others want recognised, so they award 'kudos' to them.

Does that make help?

I have apparently been given some too. Without explanation they don't mean much to me.

If you like, you can email your question to:

modsupport@beyondblue.org.au 

I'm not here as often as I used to be.

It's getting quite difficult for me to do this sort of thing.

I'm going out more, for exercise in the gym or with a group, & now have physiotherapy in a pool.

Sometimes I need to do some shopping.

In June I have a few appointments to get to.

When I've been out, I return feeling tired.

In the evenings I have problems with my legs & can't sit at my PC as much as I'd like.

I need to sort out a new sort of routine so I can be on my PC in the mornings instead, except I tend to lose track of time when I am using my PC.

Try not to fret over mistakes you might make. I've misread some posts myself, & then I apologise & try to correct what I've said.

Communicating like this is not the same as face-to-face, no body language, no tone of voice.

Even trying to infer it into what we write, it can be easily misunderstood.

It's important to read: 

View the guidelines

Yes, we can talk about a lot here, provided we keep in mind the people who may be reading.

It's like anyone we meet in life, it's not usually a good idea to blurt out anything & everything before we know someone well.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Emotions26]

will be back when mind is not playing up

small wolf, smiled at phrase being me..later..hard one..

not easy being ourselves in this world is it

another subject for later

mmmmmmmm

hope to catch you when I am back if you are still about if not wish you all the best in your recovery and wherever your journey next takes you

Em26

[mmMekitty]

Hi En26

I'm going to still be around, just I realise I can't be here so often or stay for hours trying to keep up with people I have been talking to, which, sadly means you won't hear from me very often.

I'd like to say, just being myself within myself is all that really matters to me.

I have no answers for the world or society as it currently is.

Take care. Your self is well worth caring for.

Hugzies

mmMekitty