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Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Macca Relationship Confusion
  • replies: 3

I've been seeing the same man for 22 years. We lived together for 4 years and have had separate homes since then. He can be very kind and caring & tells me he loves me as I do him. My problem is he has to be in control of almost everything, not in an... View more

I've been seeing the same man for 22 years. We lived together for 4 years and have had separate homes since then. He can be very kind and caring & tells me he loves me as I do him. My problem is he has to be in control of almost everything, not in an arrogant way, it's just him, I feel it's a personality disorder. I try to be patient & accept that this is him. At the moment, we are not seeing each other as we argued; I thought we were just discussing an event that was happening in town. He was getting angry as my views weren't the same as his, to which I commented a couple of times why are you getting angry, then to be told I didn't know anything about it & I was an idiot. I just calmly left the situation. Two nights later similar thing where he starting yelling he didn't care about the people I was talking about &neveryone can get lost, Now I was upset. I should have stated earlier he snaps & talks to me like like he is a headmaster or sergeant

Kirst_18 Parenting, study, depression, anxiety and feeling low - not sure actually...
  • replies: 2

Hello,This is my first time on a forum of any kind. I have only seen a psychologist and therapist once in my life when I was involved in an accedent when I was 19. I am now a 47 year old mom. I have suffered depression twice before, once when I was 1... View more

Hello,This is my first time on a forum of any kind. I have only seen a psychologist and therapist once in my life when I was involved in an accedent when I was 19. I am now a 47 year old mom. I have suffered depression twice before, once when I was 19 (the accident was the tip of the iceburg). Back then no one talked about it and I didn't even tell my parents how I was thinking or feeling. I got depression again in my late 20's/early 30's but it was spoken about more then and I prescribed anti-depressants and exercised more which helped. Now I don't know what I am going through and I am questioning myself. I have twin daughters who are in Y6 and I love them to bits, I honestly think if it wasn't for them I would not be here. A few years ago I had career change and work as a special needs education assistant which I love, but I always felt I wanted to do more and decided to go to uni for the first time to study teaching. My husband was nearing the end of his degree and has always been very supportive of me, as I am of him. I also wanted to be a good role model to my children and show them not to make the same 'mistakes' I did, in not going to uni after school. My husband travels a lot for work, and I have no family suppport here, I also feel that since moving here (its been 9 years) I have not made any close friends I can talk too. I feel that I am 25 years behind now in my career. I struggle with one particular subject, Maths, and have just failed my 2nd year unit of it, for the second time. I am now questioning whether I am good enough and should I carry on. I also feel a wave of emotions as my body begins to change. I feel I am not only letting myself down, but my family. Friends and colleagues know I am studying however I am incrediby embarrassed and disappointed with myself. I have lots of questions, I am I just not good enough as what I want to do, should I just give up now before wasting any more money, what will others think of me? I will contact the uni today and see what my options are. But I feel I am at a crossroads in my career. I need to be there for my children as they are going to be going a difficult time in their lives as they finish primary school and start high school, with their frienship group changes amongst other things. I know what I want to achieve but am I aiming too high at this time in my life? I keep thinking others have it FAR worse than me and they get through it. Why can't I? Am I just feeling sorry for myself or is it more

Guest_17603622 Am I depressed?
  • replies: 2

I consider myself a high functioning individual, but lately I find myself not wanting to connect as much with people because I feel exhausted from my job which I feel is very demanding.My friends say that I'm distant, that I don't connect as much any... View more

I consider myself a high functioning individual, but lately I find myself not wanting to connect as much with people because I feel exhausted from my job which I feel is very demanding.My friends say that I'm distant, that I don't connect as much anymore and that I'm using work as a cop out for maintaining relationships.Currently I try to give as much energy as I can to my family (Wife and 3 Kids) but I feel a lot of pressure to give them my time and attention and often don't feel like I have time for my friends. I often feel contradicted in my mind, the pressure of friendships, the pressure of family and the pressure of work and feel like I'm just letting everyone down. To put it simply it feels too overwhelming to balance all 3 so I start eliminating and as a result i get very defensive of my decisions. Someone mentioned to me that I may have a form of depression despite being in a high performing job but struggling to maintain my relationships and my personal insecurities. I suppose I am confused, struggling to find a way to manage it all and give myself coping mechanisms to handle my space.

SEL Hello. New member
  • replies: 4

Female, late 60's. I feel like I'm in the wrong setting as I know there are many people worse off with real issues.Yet each day, I feel overwhelmed and lethargic with very low resilience. Everything is an effort!Going to bed, trying to fall asleep, g... View more

Female, late 60's. I feel like I'm in the wrong setting as I know there are many people worse off with real issues.Yet each day, I feel overwhelmed and lethargic with very low resilience. Everything is an effort!Going to bed, trying to fall asleep, getting up the next day wishing that I didn't have to. Having a shower then getting dressed is a chore.My husband has chronic health issues but gets by okay with medications. Yet with his recent bronchitis then a relapse into something else, a cold without the cold symptoms?, I felt angry, guilty, sorry that he was ill, angry, as here we go again, guilty for being angry, worried that he was getting worse, then guilty again for feeling "over it" when he's not well. Both of us suffering from cabin fever as we couldn't leave the house, so angry again for feeling trapped, repeat cycle. I'm sure that I will be sent to hell, yet feel as though I am already there. Scared for the future as we are getting older and more frail, more so him. We are having some renovations done also. Recently the roof was restored though the tradesman left a mess, so instead of the job being finished, we had to call him back which is prolonging the agony. The husband didn't help with a change to the job without telling me, so that caused a problem. Now I have to be the bad guy with the tradesman, a position I usually seem to be in, whilst husband is the good guy. The other night I just left home for hours 'for a walk' as I couldn't bear to be in the house. I am not at all comfortable or effective as the bad guy. I wish I could just not wake up and it would all be over. Next are the painters. I want to cancel them as the stress is overwhelming, yet the house really needs TLC. I need to be brave. We need to put up fences on two sides, one with a DFFH property as the neighbours can be abusive, and at the rear as the residents living behind us across the back lane are also abusive! They even scared off potential buyers when our place was for sale, and the buyers were on our property! So again feeling trapped as we couldn't sell for a reasonable price. I know we are lucky to have a place to live, food to eat. Yet I feel anxious for want of a better word. Scared to go into my own backyard. No privacy. I can't relax. I'm not scared of the neighbours as such, more scared that I will retaliate ineffectively causing more stress to myself, though I propose to take a vow of silence, other than a nod as a greeting.

trying2bhappy Trying to get by without a licence
  • replies: 1

hey people. I am really struggling with life. My ex partner committed suicide 2021, leaving me with our 2 children (16 & 17). They have a lot of issues as you would expect. Mothers day is a bad time for all of us and on Sunday whilst driving with my ... View more

hey people. I am really struggling with life. My ex partner committed suicide 2021, leaving me with our 2 children (16 & 17). They have a lot of issues as you would expect. Mothers day is a bad time for all of us and on Sunday whilst driving with my son, he had a real issue with sadness, crying and kind of panic attack. I was not paying attention to my speed, should have pulled over, bloody idiot. I didn't and rightly so, I was pulled over by police. As a result my licence will be suspended for 3 months as I was doing >25klms. Yes I know it was stupid and foolish and I totally accept what I did. Break the law, do the time.Now I am facing life without my licence and having to live the Uber world for 3 months. Its gonna be tough.

Guest_21657714 Depression and perimenopause
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I’ve gone back to bed today again and just cried and sobbed. The past few months have been the worst. I’ve been feeling so hopeless and sad, deeply miserable. Classic depression, no joy in anything but it seems more than that. But perimenop... View more

Hi there, I’ve gone back to bed today again and just cried and sobbed. The past few months have been the worst. I’ve been feeling so hopeless and sad, deeply miserable. Classic depression, no joy in anything but it seems more than that. But perimenopause mixed in, I’m catastrophising and feeling so anxious. I’m feeling lost and sad and no idea how to get through this. My husband is drinking excessively more and more and not working now for 3 years. I feel I’m trapped “looking after him”. He spends every day going to the pub. But thinks there’s no problem. I’m feeling trapped and so hopeless.

bakedbean social anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm 26 years old and have had a lot of trouble socializing for as long as I can remember. I've never been able to understand how other people do it. I had a lot of trouble going to school from how anxious I was, and have only recently managed to ... View more

Hi, I'm 26 years old and have had a lot of trouble socializing for as long as I can remember. I've never been able to understand how other people do it. I had a lot of trouble going to school from how anxious I was, and have only recently managed to complete a vocational training diploma and a job related to what I studied. I am still trying to study an associate degree part-time, though I'm having a hard time getting through the course. I'm not particularly friendly with the people in my classes - most of them are a little bit younger, studying full-time and aren't currently supporting themselves, and from my point of view seem to have a lot more energy and motivation.I feel out of place at my job as well, because I feel like my 1.5 year education and lack of experience in the field makes me less trustworthy, and I don't know if I'm ever doing the right thing. I feel really unsure of myself and I think that makes getting through a workday even more difficult. I get so tired after work, all I end up doing is lie in bed, and sometimes I start crying for no particular reason. At the moment, the only people I have regular contact with is my younger sibling, who I live with, and my boyfriend, who I only see maybe once or twice a week due to me working an early day shift and him working a late night shift.When I've had friends I spoke to fairly regularly before, I felt like I was making a lot of effort and money into seeing them (hosting lunches where I cooked or arranging meetups) and it burned me out and made me feel so worthless when they didn't seem to care all that much about including me in things they arranged. When we met up they would also make comments about my weight or my hobbies. I think I became somewhat defensive and insecure about myself and am now more reserved. Lately I can barely go out and buy the groceries without feeling really anxious. I sometimes notice people looking amused when they see how anxious I am, which makes me feel even less confident. At work, I often stumble over words and have had people tell me not to worry so much, but I don't really know how to calm myself down. It isn't even that I can identify what I feel anxious about, it's just that I get really shaky and self-conscious. It's like I feel nervous about going out, and then I go out and have a stressful time, and so I end up feeling even more stressed and reluctant to go out afterwards. I feel so tired from doing basic things and I think I feel really pessimistic about ever finding people I can even be comfortable around, let alone connect with. I feel like I can't really be a 'normal person.' I don't even know where to start trying to get better, and sometimes I don't even know if it's even worth trying.

Guest_51491057 Miss
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am in a relationship with a depressed person. With no signs of acknowledging his issues. I am trying to be compassionate and strong but the energy is slowly infiltrating my body. He doesn't speak or eat all day and I try to help but get ignored... View more

Hi, I am in a relationship with a depressed person. With no signs of acknowledging his issues. I am trying to be compassionate and strong but the energy is slowly infiltrating my body. He doesn't speak or eat all day and I try to help but get ignored. I have to shut off to protect myself but then feel selfish. Can anyone direct me to the carers support number?

Nomads-Land Homeless older women
  • replies: 1

Hi thereIt’s 1:50am and here I am again, awake, unhappy and wondering if my life is really worth the effort.Am a divorced, 70 yo woman, no debt or savings much and just unable to find an affordable rental on the aged pension. I am a recently retired ... View more

Hi thereIt’s 1:50am and here I am again, awake, unhappy and wondering if my life is really worth the effort.Am a divorced, 70 yo woman, no debt or savings much and just unable to find an affordable rental on the aged pension. I am a recently retired property manager myself so fully aware of the hopeless situation myself and so many other women are in. Have been housesitting full time for over 2 years now, unpaid of course.I drink too much wine, am 8 kgs overweight and feel like I am going nowhere. My personal stuff is in storage and I wonder if I will ever see it again or be able to afford to have it moved to Brisbane area from Far North Qld, where I last worked. No family to speak of so Easter is never a happy time for me. My adult children chose to not continue contact decades ago after a family rift. Been single now for 20 years and refuse to be with anyone just because he has a house! Most of my relationships were just outright failures, wrong choices.

Itchy-bits Introducing myself and my current pain
  • replies: 6

Hi,I’ve never done this before, and hoping this might help my mental pain, even if it’s a small amount.Ive been going through hell the last 6 months, it seems relentless. Day in day out, the pain just seems to return when I wake up, in force, as it h... View more

Hi,I’ve never done this before, and hoping this might help my mental pain, even if it’s a small amount.Ive been going through hell the last 6 months, it seems relentless. Day in day out, the pain just seems to return when I wake up, in force, as it has done the day before and the day before that for the last 6 months. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for 35 years, it genetic unfortunately, even with a family member suiciding over it. But with medication I’ve kept on top of it. Until now.6 months ago I let my wife down with an affair I had with a local girl in Bali, something I’ve never done to her before after 21 years together. This was the beginning of my spiralling downward. My wife has been supportive and understands why it happened. I’m very lucky to have her.i fell in love with this girl and I still am, I just can’t get her out of my head. And yes we still talk very briefly via email on the rare occasions. Something I’ve tried to stop for months now, to no avail.This in itself has been painful, I wish I never met her.Im 64 and I’ve been going to the gym, jogging, cycling, all to no avail as it didn’t help me, so I’ve stopped.Skipping all the way to now. At work, I’ve put in a complaint about my supervisor as I believe he’s a bully. He has put in a counter complaint, for what, I have no idea. I wish I never started this. As now I need to go to meeting about this which is one of my phobias. Even after explaining that I’m not going to any meeting, because I mentally can’t, they are relentless and saying I have to. THIS has sent me down the deep dark hole even further. Because of Easter and my varying roster etc we can’t have these meetings until afterwards. So this will have to painfully be on my mind for the next few weeks.Ive seen my dr yesterday and after trying 3 different types of meds over the last 6 months , which never worked, he’s put me back onto something I know will help, but this will take a while to kick in.I feel like I’m rambling on here. With events that happened within these 6 moths also, there is just way way too much to explain, events combined that had made me feel suicidal at times. I have beautiful grand children that I never met. I’ve seen my son only once in 6 years, mother and father dying and many negative personally memories that keep replaying in my mind.i now cry every day, I’ve done everything possible to try and help myself, nothing is working, I am now just playing a waiting game, watching the hours tick by, losing 15kg so far and more to come I’m sure. I just hope these meds kick in within the next 2 weeks as I am on the end of my tether.