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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Lonely and scared

replies: 5

Hello Im 65 and due to have major surgery soon. Its a little risky for me. All my family is interstate and we dont talk a lot anyway. I have a 19 yo son here but he is living his own life and I really dont want to stress him. Hes a great guy and I love him dearly. I have extreme social anxiety so have no friends. I am just feeling overwhelmed and isolated. Would love to lnow how to overcome this loneliness.

LONELY

replies: 4

I've just turned 87 and spend a lot of time at home alone. I've got a plethora of health problems that necessitate continual visits to hospitals, and doctors and undergoing medical procedures.I had a best friend who passed away just before Christmas and I've really felt his passing.I'm a gay man so there are not many clubs that I can join to meet other men my age. As each day rolls into the next I get down-hearted and sad.I try to be positive but it's hard if you're alone. My only outlet is in writing, but I can't do that all day long. I want to chat with people about anything and everything.Well, here's hoping.

Washing Machine of Emotions

replies: 2

Hello Apologies if posting in wrong section.I am unable to deal or accept my mistake in judgement I had a comfortable good life, but threw it away due to pride and thinking I was standing up for myself. I should have forgiven, instead I took the high road and ended up regretting my decision. How does one live with regret! Time hasn’t healed nor has therapy. I am literally being eaten away by remorse. I want what I once had, but it’s way too late. I was wrong and truly can not forgive myself. I’ve lost in life. How does one deal with utter regret and self loathing?

Just saying Hi, introduction time :-)

replies: 2

Hi all whom come across this, my name is Possum I'm a 27-year-old queer disabled artist from WAI am new to this so please be gentle and patient. I have experienced Mental health issues my whole life, i grew up in a domestic violence home my father was a drug addict whom was very heavy handed to my mother and i saw it all, he died when i was 6 of an overdose, after that my mum whom has her own issues didn't really know how to raise me, we never properly bonded i and as i got older she sort of grew to hate me as i reminded her of my dad. She met my step dad the year my father died, once my mum started to resent me we fought everyday about everything she was violent to me until i got big enough to fight back, she ended up having two other children and putting all of her attention into them as i (had had enough attention) i became the black sheep, the fighting between us was nonstop and i often would run away but have nowhere to go as she didn't speak to any of her family and she gate kept me from my dad's family after his death, i would be threatened with boarding school or even adoption blah blah blah after high school she kicked me out, i didn't see her or my stepdad or siblings for eight years. when covid hit i found myself in a psychosis and homeless i ran back to mummy, whom was a completely different person but i knew she was still the same, i remained there in pieces as she tried to fix me and accused me of doing drugs as MH is not real and its (all in my head) her old ways quickly came back, since then iv moved in and out multiple times because I've gone to rehab, or had to leave where i was living, she's always let me back BUT Shes a complete narcissist and will not take any ownership over her part in my childhood, she won't help me get MH help because she thinks ill fall into the system of just being on drugs (which i get but like) c'mon Mother. Anyways I'm trying figure out how people with struggles like live a normal life, when parents have such high expectations on us and don't understand us at all, I've been diagnosed with literally everything Pda Autism,ADHD,Dyslexia,GAD,OCD,BPD,DEPRESSION,BIPOLAR.So, I'm keen to talk about all of that as well as addiction, self-harm, Disassociation, Gender, Sexuality, Trauma, Autism, Cost of living, how fucked the world is, Relationships, Abandonment. open book pls help

Autism

replies: 5

So I notice there are no specific forums for neuro diverse people? Where are my aspies at? I feel like it would be great to talk about the struggles with being non neurotypical in a dedicated forum?

My brother is a DV perpetrator and our mum died last year

replies: 1

Hi folks, Thanks for including me here. I am the middle of 5 adult children in our family and our mum passed away last August after 8 weeks of being in hospital. She was just shy of her 90th birthday and had increasing health issues over many years. However, she recovered so many times that it was still a shock to us. My 87-year-old dad is understandably still dealing with the grief, as we all are. My brother has always had a hot temper and has been an undiagnosed alcoholic for years but he still has a good side mixed up with all that. Mum would forgive him anything but the rest of us were getting sick of his moodiness and outbursts. He and his (now former) partner have 2 beautiful toddlers that we all love. They had a rocky relationship, though, and I could see he could be quite nasty to her at times. I asked her if she wanted help several times but she said she could handle it so I respected her decision. While we all struggled with grief after Mum died, he just didn't know how to deal with it and kept to himself a lot. Then, in early January, he was at home with his partner and kids when they got into an awful argument. He was drunk and he lashed out, She was also holding her 1-year-old daughter at the time. She called the police and then my sister who lived nearby. My sister came and got her and the kids while the police took my brother away. The police released him later that night but he needed a safe place to go that wasn't near his family or their place. I went to get him but I only did it because I knew our mum would have wanted that. His partner has been amazing and she resumed contact with him as she still wanted him to see his kids. My husband and I are helping her any way we can and she has received a lot of support through DV agencies. He also had to join a 20-week men's behaviour program and he gave up alcohol cold-turkey. My sister and dad agreed he could live at their place but it's put a huge strain on our family relationships. I can't find much info on mental health support for family members of perpetrators so that's why I'm here. Has anyone else here had to go through this? I can also offer something back to this community. I live with chronic health conditions including autoimmune arthritis and I now help others going through similar issues so I might be able to offer support to people like me here.

Please someone help

replies: 1

Hello there. I don't really know where to start or what to say, so I guess I will just type and let it flow. I know I have issues. The thing is, nobody wants to help. My family history with mental health is complicated - both my parents have spent time in a mental health facility. They are both heavily medicated and will be the rest of their lives. So there is more than likely genetics at play. I don't doubt I'm depressed with imposter syndrome and all that thrown in, but things are getting more and more difficult. It's around this time every year my self-destructive side comes out. In 2021, I embarked on an affair which ended my marriage, in 2022 I attempted suicide (twice) and in 2023 I caused a substantial rift in my family. I'm just waiting for what 2024 will bring. I'm self employed, and the past few weeks have just been kick in the balls after kick in the balls. With so few staff, I can't afford to take the time off. My sleep is terrible. I am at most getting three hours sleep per night and just spend the rest of the time staring in to the void. My GPs are not much use - Just more of the anti-depressants with the sedative side effects. Which work for a few weeks, then back to usual and just an increase in dose. I'm now at the maximum dose, and the doctors won't even prescribe me one round of sleeping pills. I just want a good nights rest. I am sceptical of psychologists - I have been raped/blackmailed by one (see 2021's destructive behaviour), and being told to change my thinking just isn't the solution. I try, but saying business will be okay tomorrow or I will sleep tomorrow and think happy thoughts just doesn't work. Maybe there is even some PTSD or something at play here? One of the GPs I have seen got me a referral to a psychiatrist - but they didn't deem my case interesting/important enough to take on. It feels like the end of my tether is fast approaching and I really don't know what to do anymore. My partner is fast loosing patience with my constant negativity, I am always tired and I struggle to talk to the doctors (Being a man, hard to talk about our mental health!). When my partner has come to help explain my moods and behaviour, one of the doctors just told her to be quiet or wait outside, and let me explain myself. I just don't know what to do. I don't know who can help. There is no interest in hobbies any more. I don't know who to talk to. It just feels like the night is getting darker and I don't know when the light will come back.

Feeling alone

replies: 4

I am 59 and feel all alone. I have no close family or friends. I suffer anxiety, panic-attacks, depression, to name a few. At am at a loss at what to do. I don’t drive, I don’t have a job, it is so hard to meet people to form a friendship. I am hoping by reaching out here, I may find others that know how I’m feeling and wouldn’t mind commenting.I do have a husband but it is hit and miss when it comes to him giving support. I feel like an old lady with nothing. Thank you for reading.

Hi there

replies: 2

Hi there, introducing myself hoping everyone are getting the most of this forum and can help me out too. Hoping I can help too.I'm a professional just under 50. I am a Latin man, born in a different country, complete different culture.I have a dream job, a gorgeous loving and caring intelligent and driven wife, 2 beautiful and intelligent young adult daughters and 2 dogs. All who I love to bits.I am here because I should have a perfect life, but I don't feel that way.I'm angry, impatient and intolerant at home. I feel neurotic at work and think I'm being discarded anytime soon, and I don't really feel like I have true friends - I must mistreat them all too!That's me.

Anyone had a similar dilemma and can offer a workable strategy?

replies: 6

Hello - I am a new user and have decided to come here to see if anyone has had a similar scenario and success. Context wise, I am early 50's, married for 15 years with 3 kids and have been blessed with a successful career and good income. We have just built a beautiful home and have a substantive mortgage on the usual 30 year term which is not ideal at my age given I will need to work until I am 80 to pay off the mortgage based on the current status quo. I don't want to come across as sounding self-fish as I know we are very lucky to have my job and a nice house, however my dilemma is my wife just won't get a job to contribute to paying off our high monthly expenses - my wife's response is I should look for a second job on weekends so we can have extra income - this is a huge red flag for me as she is effectively saying I don't care about your health, just as long as I don't have to work sort of attitude. I am already struggling mental health wise as I get zero down time and just seem to either work, or help my wife with house chores and attending to our kids. My wife has zero incapacities and spends her days sitting on the couch staring at her phone - scrolling through social media posts - at most she may place a load of washing on and cook 2-3 times per week, but that is it. The house is constantly messy, washing is constantly piled up, groceries are always behind etc. It is really starting to impact my mental health in that I have a wife who just has no oomph in life to do anything even when she clearly can see I will be working until I am 80, we are not moving forward financially (mortgage, private school fees - just staying afloat). I just don't understand how someone can choose to do not contribute financially to a family unit. Does anyone have any advice or strategy on how to gently support my wife to wake up and smell the roses per say? Whenever I try to broach the conversation her defence mechanism is to just yell at me. I am at a point where I just want to sell everything and buy a tiny home just so I am not faced with working until I am 80, and also showing her the impacts of her not contributing to the family, but why should I sacrifice what I have worked for because my wife just comes up with excuse after excuse as to why she can't get a job (and also impact the kids so they lose their nice home?) Appreciate any stories on anyone who has been in a similar situation!

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Lonely and scared replies: 5

LONELY replies: 4

Washing Machine of Emotions replies: 2

Just saying Hi, introduction time :-) replies: 2

Autism replies: 5

My brother is a DV perpetrator and our mum died last year replies: 1

Please someone help replies: 1

Feeling alone replies: 4

Hi there replies: 2

Anyone had a similar dilemma and can offer a workable strategy? replies: 6