Abandoment

[Pingu]

Hi,

I have a lot of issues and I hoped to be able to come on to beyond blue and work through them in a supportive environment and come here when I am at my lowest. I wanted to share my journey and use this service to the best

But alas. My first orientation post was never posted, though a comment I made on another thread did go up. So due to my ongoing issues with abandonment, knowing that no one loves or cares about me, and the certainty thing will never ever get better.

I have decided to have this rant in hope that someone actually see's it and hopefully help's the next person that come along who isn't worth saving like me might be face with a disclaimer or a note saying "We don't really care, we just want the money that come with pretending to care"

Oh and making the forums easier to access would also be a great help because I have to bounce around 3 or 4 pages to get into it. I know that it might just be me

Anyway... Thanks

[Croix]

Dear Pingu~

It sounds like you are having a tough time posting here. I realize it can be pretty frustrating. On a thread of mine relating to PTSD I had to tone things down and paraphrase so that I did not alarm or trigger other people, there are a fair number of those here for whom many things are disturbing.

I did see a post of yours in a month or so ago and gave a quick reply, I think maybe Dottie123, and Blondguy may have too -my memory is not always that good. Should be enough to let you know you are welcome and we'll do what we can.

None of the people in this Forum are here for money, it's one of the few places you can find that is driven by altruism - the desire to help - and be helped I guess. As for you not being worth saving - don't think that's right.

You may recall I looked up your avatar picture as it seemed familiar, I'm afraid the origin escapes me now (as I said the memory could use a tune-up) though I do remember thinking it was interesting.

Now that we have a conversation please post back and start to share your journey,

Croix

[Starwolf]

Hi Pingu, good to meet you.

Feeling abandoned is distressing to say the least. I'm sorry a previous attempt at introducing yourself did not work out. My heart goes out to you.

There are a couple of issues re these forums that need clarifying. First of all, if you google 'beyondblue forums', it should straight away give you the forum page. Top right of the page is where you log in if your security system requires you to login every time. No need to bounce around 3 or 4 pages. It is a quick, straight forward process.

Are you sure you clicked the 'Post this reply' button after you typed your intro ? If for some reason your post needs to be edited to pass moderation, you will automatically receive an email to let you know. If you haven't received such email, it means that either the 'Post this reply' button wasn't clicked or that the forums may have been down at the time (this unfortunately happens though rarely).

None of us here is paid for interacting with other members. When we do connect with others, it is because we care unconditionally and in the hope of making a positive difference, however small it may be. The aim of these forums is to give silent suffering a voice and offer understanding, support and advice if needed. We Community Champions are volunteering our time to this effect.

Each and everyone of us deserves to be heard. It means you do too. Now that this post has come through, why not re-introduce yourself, share some of your thoughts and concerns ? We would like to get to know you so that we can put our heads together and figure how best we can help.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

Good to have you on board.

[The_Abyss]

Welcome Pingu,

I suffered the same rejection issues when I didn't think my post had made it through, especially as some of my other replies had. When they do the moderation, it can take many hours to moderate the posts - often the shorter or newer ones will appear first. One I did yesterday took around 6 or 7 hours (seemed like an eternity!), and my first one was posted in an entirely different section to the one I thought I posted in. I have found the "my threads" tab the easiest way to check on progress, and I have bookmarked the direct forum page on my browser. It also took me a bit to figure out not to click on the string at the top part of the page (home>get support> online forums) but rather the string just above the posting (under "community rules") (forum>welcome....).

Under your avatar it says "3 posts"...this one, your other reply, and perhaps your original post? When you are feeling so low it does feel like abandonment though. We were speaking before on a different post about how when you are hurting so bad you recheck the site over and over again, becoming attached to the possibility of a reply, and it really does feel like rejection if there isn't one there. The people here are fabulous however and you will find someone will make the effort to reply when you are most in need. I have wondered however what happens to posts that "break the rules".

Hope the venting helped. Now, take some time to read some other posts and see if you can help someone else feel the same abandonment issues. Pick the ones that relate to how you are feeling, give support, share, just be "present". Good luck with your journey.

[The_Abyss]

*from feeling! Oops, typo in my last post! I meant help someone FROM feeling the same issues!

[Sophie_M]

Hi Pingu, we had some issues with the site over the weekend which have now been resolved. We apologise for any inconvenience caused. Below is a link to your original thread:

I don't spell my name with a capital letter, I was taught as a kid that Nouns are special and that i...

We'll close this thread off so the conversation can be continued in the original thread.

It's worth remembering that the forums are probably not the best place to be seeking support if you are in a high state of distress.  Replies are not immediate, and moderation of posts can take time.  Your post may be edited, or moved to a more appropriate section if it contains content that could distress others in the community.

We have a number of pinned threads in the Welcome and Orientation section that explain how to get the best out of the forums, if you're new to our community we'd really recommend having a read through them first to work out whether this space is going to be the right place for you at this point in time:

Welcome! A post about how our forums are moderated

Can't find your post? It may have been moved

Newbies guide: 4 tips for getting the most out of the forums

Forums etiquette: give support to receive support