52, lost and alone.

[G50_]

I am 52 (how did that happen?!). After a promising start, I seem to be have placed myself in a perfect depressive storm.

I missed the boat, every boat and very much left myself behind. I am not married. Have no kids, not even a pet. I just returned from overseas and have not worked for 5 years (self-confidence has me unravelling during interviews and I have ben out of the job market for 5 years and now that I'm 52). But I won't find work until I fix myself (and then of course I'll come across ageism)

I am usually the one who props people up with messages of encouragement etc. So dear councillors, thanks but it's not what I'm after at the moment.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR HOW OTHER 50+ WITHOUT FAMILY OR FRIENDS THEY COULD TURN TO APPROACHED THE ISSUE: I am part of that group who were / are too proud to admit that my life is not ok. It is in fact tter crap and I have noone to tell without burdening them. I've now reached the self-neglect stage, which only precipitates the downhill roll.

I'd love to hear stories of other 50+ people who were / are alone and need solutions. I feel all Mental Health efforts are going out to "the young ones" and society has forgotten about the 50+ .... those who grew up in a world when one did not talk about mental health and hence never had it addressed and are now in their 50s and still "unfixed."

How do you find a professional to talk to? How do you start to unpick the knotted mess that is my mind to start trying to find a clear way to explain this feeling of emptiness and failure?

Thank you!

[Petal22]

Hi G50,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way but it’s never too late…… never too late to re create your self, never too late for personal growth!

Are you passionate about anything?

Our mind sets can be changed it just takes practice.

To find a health professional you could do a mental health plan with your gp this will enable you to see a psychologist.

[Mark Z.]

Hi G50+,

Welcome to the forum.

Thank you for sharing your story, I can tell the it's really hard for you.

I believe you're not alone, we have many people at their 50s ready to listen and give advice here.

Moreover, maybe you can look into something different. There're some organizations out there providing mental health peer support service, such as MindAustralia (www.mindaustralia.org.au), or access to peer support groups, such as GROW (https://grow.org.au).

Hope you will fine the resources that matches your needs best.

Mark

[Guest_0682]

Hy mate ,
I hear you!
Alone, lost and no one to talk to. It sits down low in the belly and does not go away. It’s very depressive. The fact that you're a SINK, (Single no kids) is just the external. I am married with kid and find myself in a similar situation. Different on the outside but similar in the inside. My story goes all the way back to my childhood. And because I managed to but on various persona in order to fit in and suppress my feelings, no one suspected anything wrong with me. But I knew I am different I just was thinking different and never fitted in with what was the mainstream at the time. Traveling around the world in my twenty’s did not solve that either. I am a person who goes undetected because I can hide well. But in the end it’s just crap. I don’t want counseling and advise ect. I am a master in changing circumstances in order to be accepted. The point is as long as I don’t accept myself as I am I still walk the wrong path. People say and one can read, be yourself! But who the hell is that? I’ve forgotten or never knew. I hat smart sayings no one does demonstrate it to me. I only learn by watching and observing. Pure talk and good advise does nothing to me. I don’t even read instruction on anything I buy. I have to figure it out by observing and doing. There are a lot of us out there but we fall through the cracks because we can’t be told. The mainstream system ist to listen and do as your told in all it’s counseling variation. Nothing wrong with that for them it’s good for. It just doesn’t work for me. And because of that I am left outside. Labeled to hard, to arrogant to self-centred etc. And when you open up, you get stabbed and dropped in the end all the time. It’s not very uplifting what I have to share and I will not even attempt to give advise. For me the only thing works is finding likeminded people I can safely just voice my feelings. Even just one is enough. And that I have had not much success either apart from here and there. And you’re right there is nothing for people like us out there. Mens groups are plenty, if you like doing things like woodwork ect. But I just want to know how they are coping and get to know them on the inside so I can share me and lern from them. But everyone keeps the secret in the bottle where it’s safe. Sorry