Wrong attitude towards talking

[Cuzzies21]

Psychology hasn't been working for me, my attitude is talking doesn't change anything which is probably the wrong way to look at things?

My second psychologist I've tryed sent me back to my GP to try meds with the understanding to return when I'm in a better state of mind, however the meds have calmed me down so I'm thinking slower but now my attitude is even stronger about talking doesn't help me.

Is there any point me trying Psychology again? I haven't been for 9 months now, but feeling like I need to try something.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Cuzzie,

Welcome to the forum, so glad you have posted, but I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean about the attitude you mention. Can you explain more? Is it you feel unsure about talking to someone or feel reluctant, or your emotions become too much for you to talk through? Anything like that or something else?

Sometimes, too, it can take some time to find a psychologist we feel comfortable with, & hear that they 'get' us & can help. You may have to meet other psychologists before finding one who you can work with.

Whatever this attitude is, a competent psychologist ought to be able to find ways to help you talk more easily & work with you.

One thing that will make working with you is if you are aggressive. If you go in there ready to fight & argue over everything, how can they work with you? &, the, like you, have a right to a safe working enviroment.

I hope things aren't so difficult as that. I'm just not sure what the attitude is, you are talking about.

Happy to talk some more.

mmMekitty

[Guest_342]

Hello,

I found I had the same feelings about talking as you. I had severe anxiety a nimber of years ago - it found its way into every part of my life, such that I couldn't drive out of fear of getting speeding fines, couldn't fill out my tax returns out of fear of accidentally getting something wrong and breaking the law, couldn't send emails at work before proof reading them 10 times, couldn't have a romantic partner out of fear of getting an STD or HIV. The list went on. I was in a terrible place and talking to someone was not something that I thought would help me. I tried, but it felt like I was just telling someone my life story.

Admittedly, I don't think I gave it a reasonable go - after the intro meetings, I think they can start talking with you about possible strategies. Talking to a psychologist can be great from some people, but I think what works for an individual is very personal/unique. So I don't think you should feel bad at all by having these doubts. Perhaps you could talk to your GP about what other options there are?

I see my GP regularly to maintain my good health, and it took some medical help to get me to a place that I had the brain space to find talking to people useful. I also found that different specialists have different approaches. I persinally found an approach called Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) as an alternative to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was a way of thinking /approaching my issues that sat better with me. I did a two month outpatient program (was one evening a week with a group) at a local hosptial when I was at a really low point. I still find I use some of the tools that I learnt there.

That's a small snippet of my journey, and yours may be different. What works for one person mightn't work for the next. And various interventions either combined or in succession may be needed too. So what I'm trying to say is be kind to yourself and I hope you won't feel discouraged that you're not finding one particular intervention unhelpfful at present. I'd be open about this with your GP and see if they can suggest various other options. I feel like a mental health plan should be just that - a plan tailored to the individual that you revisit over time and tweak a little here and there to make it a better fit for you as you go along the journey and find what works and what doesn't.

Best wishes!

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Cuzzies21..

I think that different things work for different people...I’ve had a few psychologist..I remember one that she only wanted me to talk, while she listened....that didn’t work for me...another done all the talking...again it didn’t work for me....The one I have now, let’s me talk about things...the difference is that this counsellor will help by asking questions on how I feel now, what I felt back then and most importantly helps me to process what I’ve talked about and give me some good coping strategies....

The same thing happened to me...about starting meds before I was ready to give a psychologist a try....I think that’s so I wouldn’t get too overwhelmed with what we were talking about....

All those PTSD, anxiety and depression thoughts, seem to continually gnaw at us and can make our thoughts a bit unhealthy at times....Getting them out and trying to process them with a good understanding and caring psychologist or counsellor can have Benitez for some people....but not everyone....

I think in my heart, that maybe you should give it another try...and see how you go....You have control of what you talk about with your psychologist and he/she should be able to help you with some coping mechanism to help you..so you can manage your mental health better....

My kindest thoughts with my care dear Cuzzies....please take good care of you....and talk here anytime you feel up to it...

Grandy..

[Cuzzies21]

I took the advice from the web chat team and rang my state's Mental health team, it didn't go so well, I got angry and argumentative when trying to explain what the problem was, guess I'm sick of explaining things over and over, my whole issue is with local hospitals anyway so not a great connection. Apparently they only deal with crisis events, she seemed to hang up at the end of the call, stating someone else will ring me tomorrow.

[Cuzzies21]

Well ringing my state's Mental health crisis number was a waste of time, they took all my details with a brief description of what's going on in my life and then never rang me back or offered any meaningful help.

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Cuzzies21

I hear you… Talking to a psychologist is one thing. But talking to the right psychologist is another. There quite a few to choose from but it can be challenging to actually find “the right fit”. I have tried a few in my life and the last one I went to was good but not spot on. Some of them, especially looking back, I don’t think they should even call themselves by this profession. Maybe checking google reviews would help you or word of mouth?

[Bob_22]

Hello Cuzzies21,

Hope you are well. Sorry to hear about your experience calling the mental health crisis number. I know it can be frustrating and I have had similar issues in the past with follow up. I found it's best to touch base with your GP after you've spoken with them.

Sorry to hear about your experience so far with psychologists. But its good that you feel like you need to try something along those lines. That's the best way to approach psych sessions otherwise you might not get anything from it. Some of the other comments here are good regarding finding the right psychologist.

I was lucky but I know it can be difficult. When I was looking at psychologists, my psychiatrist luckily gave me a list of the common psychologists they refer to in the area. From there I could check their websites for info, speciatly etc. That might be worth looking into if available? Also, you could always raise the question with getting a psychiatrist referral if your GP and you both think you could benefit from that? I've found working with my psychiatrist a lot easier than working with my GP regarding mental health, medications, psychology etc. They also might know the most suitable psychologist in the area and/or the most suitable talking therapy you might need.

Bob

[Cuzzies21]

I did sometime last year have a reasonable psychologist, however they ended up diagnosed with cancer (which was the start of my issues), their illness shocked me, but also they had already decided to travel interstate for treatment, which was rather amusing because it is the treatment/surgery in my state that destroyed me and ended where I am now.

I don't trust my local hospitals/health service from what has happened, them not ringing me back was not a surprise.

There seems to be two options, talking and medication, I just can't be bothered trying any more.

[Bob_22]

Hi Cuzzies21

Hope you are doing okay. Sorry again that you feel let down by your local health services and the mental health line. They apparently announced increased funding in the last federal budget to help with this but that doesn't help now.

I know you mentioned you feel like talking and medication are the only options you have left. But in term of my mental health issues at least (depression), I have found success in other areas. Mainly self-help strategies. This could include social activity, exercise, journalling etc. Alot of these you discover with a psychologist but there are resources available elsewhere that you might use before finding a clinician you connect with.

There are some ideas on this site: Get support > Treatment options > Sources of support