Hi SomwhatDamaged,
Welcome to the beyondblue forum. It is great that you reaching out here even if it under such difficult circumstances. I am sorry to hear that you had such as stressful first appointment with your psychiatrist. You are not alone in not getting the right support the first time. Often people need to try a few different practitioners before they find the right fit. One sentence that you said in your post that concerns me is that you mentioned the psychiatrist 'decided what to do with you' and your treatment. In more recent times, the term 'patient centred care' has become quite important and that means that usually the people receiving care should be central in making decisions and in planning care. It doesn't sound like this occurred at your appointment.
Like Geoff has said, its okay to be discouraged but know that this is common and you have options such as to try another practitioner. You may find more benefit from a psychologist or counsellor or even group therapy. There are many other options that your GP can refer you to depending on where you live. I would suggest making an appointment with your GP and having a discussion about your options.
Building a therapeutic or healing relationship with a health care provider is difficult even when you do get along and it can take time to build trust. Sometimes the first visit is awkward. You are getting to know each other and you are also trying to figure out what to ask and how much to offer.
Anxiety can also get in the way of remembering exactly what to ask and remember what was said as people focus on not letting their anxiety get in front of them rather than what is happening in the session. This is normal. Some suggestions I have offered people is to come in with your goals written down on paper doing this in the comfort of your own environment. This way the conversation can be guided by you and what you have identified as goals. You could also request to bring a person you trust with you to the appointment for the first few visits who could be there just to listen and support you.
Using the forum is great idea in helping you get through this initial difficult visit and support you to make some decisions for your next steps. If you need further support or wish to talk with someone on the phone, the beyondlblue support line is always there to help on 1300 22 4636.
Wishing you the best possible outcome,
Nurse Jenn
