What should a good psychologist do?

[Guest_128]

Hi,

I am wondering what a good psychologist do for us?

Are they just there like a friend should be over coffee?

Whats your thoughts and experiences please.

Later

[SubduedBlues]

IMHO a good one takes a genuine interest in how you are doing. They help you explore what you should do next, without telling you what to do next. Sometimes they help you learn and understand your own psyche, ID and ego; and then help you learn how to live with all of their competing wants, needs, and desires, whilst maintaining some level of control over your mind and its destiny.

SB

[geoff]

hi 9 names later, a good question, because my latest psychologist who I haven't seen for over a year and only had seen him 4 or 5 times was terrible, he questioned why I needed to take any medication for my depression, OCD, my epilepsy or even any pain-killers, the reason why was because he has never used anything to help himself, he could talk himself into believing there was nothing he couldn't talk himself out of.
All I can say to this was c**p, and when talking with him all he kept saying was 'why', so I kept on cancelling appointments until finally, I finished up with him.
My doctor always asked how the sessions were going and when I told him he wasn't too impressed, compare this to my previous psychologist who I had been seeing for 20 odd years, that tells you how good she was, but unfortunately she left.
She was able to remember the vast list of people we had discussed, was compassionate and understanding, our the sessions went over time, and even though the conversation changed so many times, she would let me carry on, and occasionally wanted me to do some homework, which I never did, but never mentioned why didn't I do it, she was terrific and I was sad when she left. Geoff.

[demonblaster]

Hey later & all

Good question you need firstly to feel comfortable around them, anyone for that matters worth being around. If you feel you can completely open up without judgement then that's the one you want.

A good listener but also they need to interject on occasion with constructive info & coping methods.

As mentioned above by subdued not to be telling you what to do but talking it through with you. Getting to know you & where you're at.

I've got a fantastic one don't see her often cause she comes from another state but well worth the wait. She's been there for me in extreme times though very busy.

They need to be able to communicate well & treat you with respect & care

We need to be very open & listen as well. Be prepared to take on board what they say if their good.

I need someone that I can talk to when I'm in extreme downs & really struggling, get so scared of how low you can go & fear going under the line again, working on that. So saw a lovely lady couple times lives here but nothing really constructive was coming out, she may have been assessing dunno but not the right fit for me.
So back to the excellent one.

If you get one like Geoff above had, nah move on till you get the right fit.

Let us know how ya go

[Guest_128]

Thanks everyone, I totally get the click thing.

Havnt seen mine for a couple of months,was going every two weeks and have been seeing him since last in hospital about 6yr ago.

I think I get into a what the hell when things are going down hill weather it's my mental health or just life. I also have pressure with comments like ,so what happened with the psychologist?ie did he fix you.or haven't you been working on that with him?

I have done a lot of Day programs and even done some twice. I loved them and made so much sense but I just can't remember and put it all into play,these things I do believe to be the biggest help for Mental Health,so it really pees me when I can't connect.

I also find it fascinating that so many people here have such great repaul(ing spelling)

Later

[demonblaster]

Later what I'm learning is a lot of good people that do care, are afraid of saying the wrong thing or I'm hearing they don't know what to say which is fair enough, usually when someones down we wanna lift em up but not hurt in process. We're fragile. They know that if they understand.

I think it's good if they're asking how you went with psych, they're showing interest and giving you opportunity if you want to talk about stuff. They're caring. That's good 🙂

How are you between BP cycles? I'm usually good, happy, bla bla, usually BA motivation but trying to change that.

[startingnew]

Hi everyone

I think a good psychologist firslty should be polite and respectful.

They should take a genuine interest in what your saying and not just do the whole 'uh ok 'how does that make you feel' sprt of thing. We are people with
real feelings not just robots.

They should make you
feel comfortable in opening up and being able to trust them otherwise
how do they expect people to 'click' as well.

I think they should
be able to lead the conversation if the person doesnt know where to
start or where to go from what they are talking about as well.

Another thing I
found wasa really good quality in a psychologist was to reffer you
to others if they are 'lost' themselves. I was seeing a psychologist
and what I was dealing with she felt I could be better helped from a
psychologist who had a more deeper meaningful understanding of the
treatment therapy that I needed so she recommended that I should see
such and such for these reasons but tshe was happy to still continue
working with me. I found that to be quite eye opening actaully that
there are still the honest psychologists and not just in it for the
money but genuinely show concern for someon and how to better their
treatment.

[Guest_128]

Hey Demo,

I haven't been Manic like,start a business,borrow 30k of relatives,think I am floating with God,etc for about 6years. And yeah I miss it sooooo much,now I flutter bit like looking at a heart monitor. Lost most self confidence and try and lay low so not to harm what I have left.

I do realise that those who or have to be near me ,ie family have a difficult time ridding the roller coaster ride with me,and that plays with my mind a lot. Trying to work out me ,mental health or normal.

Later

[demonblaster]

Good later, yeah we've I reckon gotta start with our heads. It's them that cause our distress, how we think, react to stuff.

Need to like ourselves too for confidence. Shield.

I couldn't hack this without the mania, pretty rational throughout but pumped, can't shut up lol.

Keep at it mate, we'll get there, we have to

[Dr_Kim]

I think many of the posts have had really good ideas about what makes a good psychologist.

The “clicking” thing is important. Research shows that the most important element of whether therapy works or not what TYPE of therapy people have ( CBT or ACT or Solution Focused or Narrative etc) but what RELATIONSHIP they have with the therapist .

Meaning , if you can be honest , feel heard, respected , understood, cared for etc.. you are more likely to have a successful therapeutic outcome . 

The therapist is definitely NOT a friend though . A friendship is two-way and a therapy relationship is one-way . Its all about the patient. If the patient is watching what they are saying to protect their therapist, something is wrong!!

My other thought is that a therapist is like a torch  . They just shine a light over thoughts and feelings so that they become clearer and more defined , understood and less scary . I would hope that a good therapist helps you really make sense of your own thoughts, feelings, values , beliefs and so you can feel happier in your relationships and make better life choices.

A good therapist allows you to challenge them . Meaning , you can question why they asked you something and you feel ok doing it . 

There are so many things a good therapist is but they don’t do things like sit on the phone with you for ages after hours or hang out with you out of the consultation room or see you every day. 

I hope you are getting a picture in your head of a great therapist.

Now that you have it … bring it back down to reality because there is NO such thing as a PERFECT therapist. Most are pretty good , some Ok , and some really bad. Good luck working your way through the maze .. if you keep going , chances are you will find the one that isn’t perfect but good enough for you.