To medicate or not to medicate

[Lookingforpeace]

Hi all

i have had depression/anxiety for almost a year now (well, this time around anyway). 

I've been so proactive about my mental health - seeing a psychologist, meditating, yoga and exercise. I'm definitely better than I was a few months ago and the time in between depressive episodes is getting longer. But when I do have a bad few days, such as the last few, I feel like giving in and turning to medication. 

I absolutely don't have anything against medication, but I am anxious about taking it (ironic I know). I'm scared about:

• Side effects
• feeling like a failure by needing it 
• it being a "quick fix" or bandaid solution 

Also, if I take medication, what happens when I come off it? Will I go back to being depressed?

And for those of you that take it - does it actually help? Or do you still have bad days? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of taking medication if I'm still going to have bad days anyway, I may aswell not take it.

Would love to get your thoughts. 

Thanks

LFP

[geoff]

dear LFP, well your comment would go go through the minds of many people, but certainly by being proactive like you have been doing is very good, but you have to remember that everyday of the year we aren't free of not having our good days, because it's impossible to go through life 'being on cloud 9' all the time.

You can't consider yourself as a failure by taking any medication because that would seem to be what someone who has never had depression would think, but I'm sure that if they had a headache they would take a panadol.

So by having medication only means that our body needs to fight off something that we can't stop or get rid of by ourselves, same principle as again taking a panadol.

With most medications there can be side-effects, no different than being given an anesthetic you are asked if you are allergic on previous occasions, but sure with antidepressants there could be side-effects, some which settle down while other times we can't handle them, so our doctor prescribes another type.

AD's are a very serious type of medication which are needed to help us with depression, and they shouldn't be taken and then stopped at our own discretion, and if you have to take them means that your body needs something to help them overcome or handle their depression.

By stopping them should be up to your doctor and not by yourself, and when you have overcome this illness they keep you on a stable keel, and sure you could have your off days, but if you aren't taking them, then your off days will be far worse than when you are taking them, in other words you will fall down to the black hole and then try and crawl yourself up, and that's why if your doctor has prescribe them to you, it's wise to take them.

I will be taking them probably for the rest of my life, because if I forget or run out I quickly fall down, and that's what I don't want. Geoff.

[Lookingforpeace]

Thanks Geoff. I suppose I have just heard a few bad things about medication (and good too), but in light of my anxiety I am of course focussing on the bad. 

For instance, I have read somewhere (written by a psychologist) that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have also heard of some people getting terrible side effects such as dizziness and loss of movement! 

I feel that it is a "last resort", but at the same time I am at the end of my tether anyway. 

I am however seeing a naturopath today to see if there is anything else I can take.

I hope I don't sound dismissive/judgemental of taking medication, it is really just something I am anxious about. In fact I would like to be able to take it and start to feel more like myself again. 

[Guest_2350]

Hi Lookinforpeace,

I can so much relate to your post. I was fighting to take medication as well and I tried to be proactive about my mental health. I thought that surely I would not want to mess with my brain and expose it to chemicals and my body to possible side effects.

It was explained to me that the meds are there to stabilise me. And that it would be easier to go through therapy if I am on medication. I did not believe that, but I got progressively worse the more I was supposed to talk about my issues and eventually I accepted that I needed help from chemicals. I am not sure if I am on the right meds, I started 2 months ago and we are still increasing the dose. I have been told I will have to change meds in the next step if I do not improve, which scares me. But I have seen improvements! I am much more able to concentrate, I can sit down and watch a movie again, which was impossible a couple of months ago. My digestive problems that I had for over a year have vanished since I am on the meds - I am so surprised how much my brain can do to my body! I don't feel stable enough for therapy, I still zone out in sessions, hard to explain, but I just feel like I leave the room and close the door. Not really helpful when I should be talking.

For me it was VERY important that it was my decision and no one pressured me into it but gave me an open ear, took great care to address all my concerns and explained to me over and over again why I could be a good solution. I think that was the key. It needed to be my choice.

Good luck on your journey and stay in touch, Yggy

[Dwwmills]

I had a similar experience to what yggy is going through and
resisted taking medications for 25+ years. Eventually my psychologist talked me
into seeing a psychiatrist to prescribe medication. I was on SSRIs for 18
months and they made a big difference. Like yggy they slowed the racing
thoughts and lowered the level of anxiety so that I could concentrate on cognitive
based therapy.

The SSRIs did have side-effects but none of them were a
dealbreaker for me. Working with the psychiatrist we changed the dosage and
time the medication was taken in the day, to minimise them as much as possible.

The medication allowed me to see what life was like without
it being ruled by anxiety. It was also a daily reminder that I needed to
concentrate on my cognitive based therapy to eventually be able to come off of
the medication. Being on a psychiatric medication made me realise that my
anxiety was something that I need to take seriously. It was no longer that I was
just a bit stressed and needed to work for a short time to get over that stress
level. It made me realise that I had an underlying anxiety problem and I needed
to treat it seriously.

I understand what you mean by feeling like a failure for
needing it. If I got to the stage that I needed it again I would probably
resist going back on it as I would see this as a failure. It is totally
irrational of course as I know the benefits I gained from the last time I was
on medication.

You don’t have to worry about it being a quick fix as it
takes a while to build up to a therapeutic level and then quite a while to
taper off. I didn’t see it as a Band-Aid solution as it gave me head space to
be able to do cognitive based therapy. And if and if I had needed it for the
rest of my life I would have had to accept that it was making my life better so
I was better off with that than without it.

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Lookingforpeace, 

I am currently taking an SSRI for anxiety. This time around I have only been taking it a little over 4 weeks. And have recently upped my dose. 

Honestly the first few weeks were really, really hard side effects wise, for me anyway! But they did get better! Now at week four, I am finally starting to feel the difference, my husband even said last night his old wife was coming back!!

I , like you, was hesitant to go down the medication path. I tried everything else first, I tried exercise, mindfulness, even some natural tablets from my naturopath. And they all did have some positive effects. But it just wasn't enough, so I made the decision to try the tablets (for me the second time). 

It isnt a miracle cure, it hasn't "fixed" me BUT it has slowed down the thoughts, it's allowed me the space to practice the skills I'm learning from my Psycologist. 

Please don't even think you are a failure, if you go down the medication road! I, at this stage in my life, needed the help, to be a better mother, wife and friend. 

Skye

[White_Rose]

Dear Skye

That is an amazingly positive post about medication. The view of medication is so often that it is the cure-all or a waste of time, especially when you have some uncomfortable side effects.

By the way, I hope your husband meant he had the wife he used to have, not an aged version.

Mary

[Bluey_moon]

I hope so too Mary 😉  

At the moment I am struggling again with the increase of dose, side effects wise, with increased anxiety ect. Not helped by my health anxiety but I will persevere, I want to get better! 

[Lookingforpeace]

Thanks all. It is interesting to hear that some of you were also resistant to taking medication but it sounds like you have no regrets.

Ive started taking natural supplements and will see how they go. If I'm still struggling I think it will be time to go on the meds. Atleast that way I'll know I did try other things first and genuinely gave it a go before taking them. That's just something that's important to me personally I guess.

I am also trying to accept that everyone has bad days and it doesn't necessarily mean it's depression or anxiety. For example yesterday I was in a terrible mood and really on edge, and of course just assume it is my anxiety. But a few hours passed and I felt fine, so I need to remember even "normal" people (ha!) have bad moods.

[geoff]

dear LFP, there can be some apprehension in taking antidepressants (AD), but can I mention an analogy, when you look up on the net 'how were the pyramids were built', there are so many explanations, just as Stonehenge being built, so in regards to what psychiatrist or psychologists have to explain their thoughts on depression, each one may have a different story.

My psychologist who I don't see any more used to tell me by having OCD is a farce and can be overcome very easily, and I'm sure that all the people who are struggling with this illness could believe him, because I certainly don't.

Any medication can give you side-effects, just as you may have to take a medicine before or after food, otherwise it could make you feel sick.

Medication ( which it's not ) from a naturopath may only help you when you have very mild sadness, but won't help when it's severe, but you can't take an AD with the one that is suggested.

 Geoff. x