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Thoughts on rejection by a psychologist
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Hi all,
Don't know why I’m posting. To simplify my back story, I have had generalised and social anxiety for most of my life. been through a few therapists, all of whom have been supportive, though only ever allayed my symptoms marginally...
I went to a clinical psychologist (drove 250kms to really try to sort myself out properly this time.... maybe.... and by halfway through a first session has said maybe I have add and that I shouldn’t her and to find a psychiatrist instead. Without going into my concerns here (simply because the story is lengthy), I don’t agree that there’s nothing she can do for me, she is seeing me for one more session to clarify. Yet part of me is conflicted and hurt- why would a “professional” - with two bachelor degrees and a master degree and a PhD abandon someone after - it was clear by half an hour into the first session that she was not interested.... Why can you not even pay people to talk to you? And why do I want to continue therapy with this person? Part of me is cognizant of how difficult and expensive it has been to set this up but I feel like almost I’ve been betrayed.....
anyway... comment if you have thoughts
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Hello Here2Talk,
Why do you want to see someone who seems so disinterested and unwilling to put their skill set to good use?
I had problems finding a PDr I could work with. Money to pay, (even after Medicare) was only one aspect. I was using an antidepressant at the time, so I also wanted a Psychiatrist because they can write prescriptions. Psychiatrists have first trained as medical doctors, then go on to study several more years in order to practice Psychiatry. Mine has further specialist qualifications.
Yes, some Psychiatrists I paid to have the initial consults with did seem uninterested. I discovered they have areas of interest, and I think could be more open about what these are even before making a single appointment.
I had one sit there and fire questions at me. Was I: using drugs, doing crime, have extreme moods or behaviours, on and on She heard nothing I had to say. Crossed her off my list. Another said, he did not do the long-term sort of therapy I think suits me better. Another, the crowded waiting room was too much for me.
The Psychologist I saw to directly help me with wearing a mask, seems too chatty, to eager to let me wander off the subject, not as focused on what I need from her. For now, I am not sure what to do, not while we are required to wear masks inside buildings...
Psychologists too, often have preferred areas of interest, and preferred therapy techniques. There is a Thread somewhere around here which discusses the various therapists and therapies out there. If someone could help with link to that???? Thanks.
All I am saying, I did eventually find a PDr who is, professionally, kind and caring, patient, but does prod me too, who is NOT trying to be a friend, who never has breached his professional boundaries. I am willing to pay extra for someone I can work with,
It is difficult to keep looking for someone to help while you are in such great need. I found the searching to be v disheartening. But without finding someone, well, I simply had to keep looking; giving up was not an option.
There aren't many who work as my PDr does, so I am glad to have found him.
Don't rule out Psychiatrists, if money is an issue, some do actually bulk bill. Have you spoken to your GP about this? I don't know if you have ADD or not, In order to find out, you would need to be assessed. A GP is usually the first step.
Please. while you are still looking for a suitable Psychologist, talk here, or anywhere on the forum you like.
mmMekitty
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Hi there Here2Talk Thankyou for your post,
Im sorry this has happened to you it does not seem like a good experience i would like you to know that i have had some similar experiences with Pyschs in the past but after looking abit further i did find someone amazing. I think that you should not give up because you should be able to see someone who is interested in what you say, validates your feelings and addresses your concerns. The role of a psychologist is not just to do an assessment but to also do therapy and treatment.
Once again i am sorry you have experienced this!
All the best and I hope you find the support you are looking for. We are all here to help.
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Thank you both happy helper and mmMekitty. I really appreciate the reply. You’re both very correct. It disappoints me a lot. You see I have been studying psychology for 7 years now, and half way through honours. I hope you don’t think lowly of me for being a prospective psychologist - why should he have mental health issues. Well, I’ve been slowly working on them for ten years with therapy and self discovery- now life is getting a bit tougher with the kids (both under 7 and one autistic), money, work, study, wondering how to take the next step (can’t work full time and study full time), I was under the hope that one day I would be able to either give up or overcome my issues so that I could function enough to give back to people what (up until now) had been given to me - support, and that I would know inside out not just the theory but also the experience of deep and long lasting psychological pain, which would be useful for others for many reasons including empathy. Now I just feel empty about the whole profession ... at the moment..... I hope that fades
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Hello Here2Talk, just because someone has a qualification in psychology doesn't mean that they aren't perverse in getting any type of depression, they are only human and no matter how well trained these people are doesn't mean this can be avoided.
Driving 250 km is a long way just to be told you need to see a psychiatrist and I can definitely relate to this as I had to travel the same distance to see a psychologist, only to be told she can't see me unless I stopped drinking, a total waste of a day for me.
The psychologist I had seen for about 20 years (WorkCover) had some type of mental illness before I started seeing her, and I only know this because she lived next door to a chap I used to visit every week, so I asked her how did she overcome all of this, she said it was her kids.
The psych you had seen, this was just her opinion and we have to respect that all psych's differ in how they diagnose someone, or how to treat them and may have different points that another psych may not agree with, it all depends on their training and who it's with and may agree on the general diagnosis but deep down the small points regarding someone could be totally different.
Your training, when you finish, may be different to the person sitting next to you but that's your own way on how to treat a person, it's no different to how doctors diagnose a person.
Give yourself some credit, you have a lot on your plate.
Best wishes.
Geoff.
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Hi Here2Talk,
I'm really sorry that you had this experience, I've been in a similar boat before and there was a total sense of 'well, what's the point?' if I've come so far and they can't help me.
But what I know now and what I want to share with you is that it's a good thing. I know that sounds awful, but I just wanted to give you a different perspective. As you know from your studies, mental health falls on a big spectrum- it's so broad and vague and courses only lightly touch on everything that psychologists and therapists can encounter. So some will choose to specialise a bit or further their niche on what they like, and others may not learn about certain things. So one person can have 10 PhD's but still know next to nothing about certain areas. I think that's what's happened with your psychologist; that she might be interested but she knows that your issues are out of her scope of practice.
That doesn't mean anything is wrong- it's just really unfortunate that this has happened. But it's also good that you know this now, because the last thing that you want is for her to be like "yeah, sure I can help" and have her waste your time and money.
I hope that you can see this as a hiccup even though from my own experiences it can be devastating. I believe there's a good therapist out there for you who can fill you with confidence about working together in therapy.
rt
p.s. a lot of therapists are 'wounded healers' anyway- going into the field from our own lived experience. That's a good thing too 🙂
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We can imagine that would be really difficult.
It sounds like it would be really good to reach out to the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, they can talk this through with you, and point you towards your next steps for making sure you’re supported through this. They’re also available on webchat, here.
We hope the advice and understanding of romantic_thi3f, HappyHelper88, mmMekitty and Geoff is helpful and comforting. We think they’ve made some really good points, especially around talking to a GP, and looking into bulk billing. You could also have a look at the Find a professional directory on the Beyond Blue site, which you can filter for bulk billing. For psychiatrists specifically, you can use the The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists' Find a Psychiatrist directory, which lists consultant psychiatrists in private practice in Australia.
Please keep sharing, as you can hear in these lovely responses, the community is here for you, and many can relate to what you’re going through.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
