scared of memories

redgirl-blackdog · ‎17-08-2016

I haven't been here for a couple of months so I hope everyone is well. I've had about 7 sessions with a psychologist & we've gone thru lots of stuff including mindfulness, he's even got me to try pacing so my arm/neck/ shoulder doesn't hurt so much, like I haven't tried a thousand different ways over the past few years, but anyhow now he wants me to try rewind therapy, even the thought of having to re-live the crash on purpose sends me into panic mode, I don't understand how doing this will stop/fix the pain in my neck, I've done everything else he's asked but I don't think I can do this. He doesn't seem to get that I'm in pain 24/7 & that's why I'm upset & depressed & all the talk in the world is not going to stop or fix the nerve damage & ongoing pain. Even now, the thought of the crash, I have sweaty palms & my heart is racing, why would I do this over & over, it's bad enough waking from a nightmare, sorry I ranting but its really freaking me out, has anyone had any experience with rewind therapy & how did it go for them because I'm sceptical on this one. Thanks for your help, Carey

white knight · ‎18-08-2016

Hi

I can't comment on your psychologists plans and u assume you feel he wants you to drove into your past to fix the present and make your future brighter.

That might be what you need. For others not so. For me time was my friend several years ago. Also maturity fir with maturity comes wisdom which leads you to the ability to clarify for yourself.

Eg. In my 30's my first marriage was hell on earth. I worked 3 jobs including shift work and my then wife was lazy and didn't care. I likely was a candidate for psychological care but chose, once separated to move on mentally. Many years later I can now conclude it all, evaluate what went wrong and accept it.

Anyway, you choose if your treatment is OK for you. If you don't feel comfortable then tell him/ her this.

Tony WK

Dr_Kim · ‎23-08-2016

Hi redgirl, there are a couple things in your post that concern me . Firstly , you say that you are in chronic neurological pain and I wonder if this pain has been thoroughly reviewed and treated by your medical professionals . There are medications that work specifically for nerve pain and I wonder if these have been explored thoroughly. A pain clinic might even be a good place some of them are good at taking into account the psychological aspects of pain management.

Secondly , I’m not sure that I would encourage you to do anything that is “ freaking you out” and that you are skeptical about. I think that if you are unsure about this therapy , then seek more clarification about it first.
Also , the treatment of PTSD is NOT straightforward and some people respond to some forms of therapy and others don’t. Its important to find what works for you.

There has been some great research come through on more gentle types of therapy that might help including EMDR ! ( just google EMDR australia to read up about it … it sounds a bit kooky but the research is quite valid)

redgirl-blackdog · ‎29-08-2016

Hi Tony, hope you are well. I know he wants me to "get over" the feelings/emotions associated with the crash by re- living it til I feel the " I'm safe now" feelings so I understand the theory behind rewind therapy but I don't understand how it can help nerve damage. I've had countless therapy sessions with all sorts of counsellors on & off over the past 20 odd years and they've all had words of wisdom about time being a great healer & I've tried to believe them but when the pain is so relentless it's hard to accept that. I tell myself every day that there's someone worse off than me but some days when I've taken a bit more than the max dose of medication and I'm still in tears from the pain even that doesn't help me get off the floor. But thanks for your words

redgirl-blackdog · ‎29-08-2016

Hi Dr Kim, thanks for your reply. So far I've been to G.P's, bowen therapists, physiotherapists, counsellors, pain management psychologists, chiropractors,tried hypnotherapy, had nerve blocks, tried a dozen different medications, seen 2 neurosurgeons, one doesn't want to operate, he basically told me to live with, the wait list for the local hospitals pain management clinic is 9 months. So I am willing to try almost anything but I can't grasp how even emdr is going to "fix" the nerve damage. I get the idea behind these therapies but I'm over being in physical pain 24/7. Thanks for your reply & concern.

romantic_thi3f · ‎30-08-2016

Hi Carey (redgirl-blackdog),

Thanks for posting. I think it might be worth trying to understand a little bit more about why your psychologist wants you to try this therapy and how they think it will help. I don't think that there is any denying that you are in chronic pain. Certainly therapy can help with trauma - especially the anxiety that you feel when mentioning it, but it can also help with chronic pain.

Sometimes, when people have chronic pain, the brain can go into overdrive and become supersensitive - especially when it's linked to trauma. Sometimes people can still experience pain even when there is no nerve damage at all. It's thought of like an 'echo'. This doesn't make it any less real. It's basically thought of as a glitch in the 'software programme' in the way the brain interprets pain.

I hope this makes sense. 🙂

redgirl-blackdog · ‎31-08-2016

Hi, thanks for your comments, it makes sense and from what he (psychologist) has said, PTSD has been mentioned so I think he wants me to try it so I can get a decent sleep, to make me "not feel" the pain. I am woken up to 3 nights a week having nightmares of the crash. The car I was driving was forced off the road into a gravel filled spoon drain then it spun around and the back end of the car hit a 5 foot high embankment which caused it to flip end over end (bonnet to boot) about 6 times then roll over sideways another 8 times. My hands are shaking & my pulse is racing typing this. When the car finally came to rest more than 70 metres away, 1 other passenger was seriously hurt. Because I was obviously in shock but still walking & thought I only had whiplash, I made sure the other 3 had medical attention at hospital before me. 6 hours later I had xrays & was told whiplash & I would have a sore neck for a while. Well 20 years later that sore neck is now foraminal stenosis at C4-6 with cervical radiculopathy, the discs are basically non existent, and the MRIs & scans show permanent nerve damage. After waking up with a numb thumb 3 years ago,now my left arm is nearly useless & the pain is real & constant. I know there are a lot of people who are worse off & in more pain than me but when nobody can see the injury I feel like they think it's all in my head. To me, surgery wouldn't have been recommended unless there was a "real" problem. And on top of the physical pain, of course I do get depressed & anxious & stressed, that makes me more worried that the doctors think I'm "putting it on". So I usually just shut up, not say anything & put up with the pain. Sorry for the long rambling story but I seriously can't get how stressing me out on purpose can repair nerve damage. At this stage I'm willing to try almost anything.

romantic_thi3f · ‎06-09-2016

Hi redgirl-blackdog,

Thanks for posting again. It sounds like this accident has really affected you both psychologically and physically. Firstly I will say again that I don't think that there is any denying that the pain is very very real - I can see from your post that you've had lots of scans done that have clearly shown injuries from what's happened. Even if the scans were clear, some people can still have pain that doesn't show on a scan.

I think maybe your psychologist wants to do this therapy so that it doesn't have to impact on your life so much. Having nightmares is incredibly unsettling and draining, and I'm so sorry that you've had them 3 nights this week. Maybe there are other things too that you are being held back from because of the memories of the accident. Being able to talk and process things can help - and even though it will stress you out, the idea is that eventually your brain won't be traumatised by this memory and you can one day talk about the accident without your hands shaking and your pulse racing. The fact that this is happening when you bring up this memory is showing that the brain is going into fight/flight mode. Ideally what would happen is that you would be able to talk about the accident without your brain feeling like you need to 'feel safe'. The anxiety responses are our brains remembering what happened and telling us we need to feel safe.

I'm sorry too that you think the doctors think you are "putting it on". Have they said anything to make you feel that way? People can often dismiss pain that they can't see, but that doesn't make it any less real. Lots of people can live with invisible pain - or even invisible conditions for years. Oh, and even if it were in your head (which clearly it's not because of the scans) that doesn't make it any less real either. What's happening is real - pain is real - your experiences are real. Nothing and nobody can take that away from you. But they can help you help yourself with techniques to make everything have less of an impact on your life.