Scared of medication

[Mattie_B]

Hi,
Newbie here.

I have recently had a mental break, that was triggered by severe insomnia for about 4 weeks.

My mind wouldn't stop racing and I was unable to function during the days, not able to work, crying all the time and a downright mess. I have had a history with GAD since 2004 and was able to overcome it with natural therapies specifically acupuncture. Fueled due to my severe fear of antidepressants and my research of them.

My recent breakdown I couldn't use any natural remedies, acupuncture was not working nor meditation.

Being so crippled I decided to see my GP for sleeping aids, just to try get past the first few weeks of insomnia. But taking the medication and not sleeping well triggered my GAD to resurface, also with the added effects of depression I ended up being curled up in a ball just crying and not able to use logical thinking to calm myself.

I went back to my GP and told them how much of a Mess I was. I have young kids 5,3, and 7 month old and a beautiful wife. Our family home is great, I have a good job although stressful of late, I had at the time been unable to pin point the triggered for me to regress so badly.

My GP prescribed me medication. 

Under ANY other circumstance for example if my doctor prescribed me medicine to heal a festering wound which could lead to infection I wouldn't hesitate or even think twice about taking the medication.

BUT for this... my fear of the drugs is high. I have pushed through that barrier using logic, but I am still unable to accept the medication and be calm about taking them.

My side effects have been nothing really. But my anxiety is still crippling me at the moment and I fear the drugs are not treating it properly.

I have now been on them for 4 weeks. I have been told to stick it out for 2 more weeks.

I am also using medication to combat nights of sleeplessness. Which I also have fears of using.

Not matter what logic I try to apply I am always fearful of these medications, and struggling in accepting them.

I have just started to see a Pshyc, have had experience before, am trying to implement CBT of what i remember. I have created a Mantra for myself that I use daily to try re-program my through behavior.

I am not a patient person, and I recognize I need time to right the right medication that will help me the most.

But I struggle with accepting the use of medication. The fear is constantly there.

Anyone else have this experience?

[PamelaR]

Hi Mattie and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Things are sounding very difficult for you at the moment Mattie. Sleeplessness is awful isn’t it?

I know exactly what you mean about using medication and I was the same as you. For years I had a belief about anxiety, depression and medication. I saw a close friend who was unable to move out of the house because of depression. She was on loads of medication which appeared to do her no good. So my viewpoint was formed.

Then a couple of years later, I had a breakdown. It was after 18 months of trawling through a hidden childhood traumatic incident that chose to reveal itself, working with a psychologist, having acupuncture, reiki and herbal supplements.

My doctor wanted to hospitalise me, but I refused and she prescribed medication. I reluctantly took it. The results were not immediate and if I look back, I can’t remember how long it took for the medication to take effect. However, I was off work for 3 months and returned very slowly to work after that. During the first month, I saw my psychologist almost daily. It was a difficult time, and all I can say is - I wish I’d taken the medication before I hit rock bottom.

I continue to take medication, it was increased at the end of last year when I became depressed due to retirement, but I am now back to my original dosage. I live in hope of completely coming off the medication.

What is it about medication that you fear? Do you think it will hurt you or do you think people will think less of you if they know you're on ADs? Maybe looking at ways to reduce that fear will help to alleviate your concerns?

What do you think?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Mattie_B]

My fears stem from thinking they will not work. I'm using medication to help with my sleep anxiety which is very difficult.

Just taking them gives me anxious feelings that I will become dependent on medication, even though I have not been using it much.

The SSRI medication I am on takes up to 6 weeks to see if its working, and I'm 4 weeks in. The fears of it not working and giving me some relief, as am not seeing any immediate results just yet.

The stigmas around anti-depressants which I have done a bit of research and debunked some of the myths, which has helped me somewhat but the underlying worries and what ifs still plague me.

I have seen on average it takes 2-3 different tries to find the right medication. Just fear the suffering I have to go through to get through this.

[geoff]

Hi Mattie, people tend to worry about taking antidepressants (AD) because it's different than taking antibiotics to cure an infection, it's gone within 10 days, but depression is different, it can't be cured in this short time, it takes a much longer time, so medication is needed to pull us out of the black hole.

The trouble is people hop on the computer and use Dr Google to research the side-effects this particular AD has listed, however, the company has to list all of what may happen, they do this for legal reasons, because if somebody has one side-effect that's not listed, then there maybe a legal case.

These side-effects may not happen to you, they could have an effect on the person sitting next to you but their bodily symptoms are different to you, so you can't naturally believe you will be affected.

If you do struggle with them, there's a good chance they will subside away once you get used to them, if not then it's a visit back to your doctor.

Geoff.

[Mattie_B]

I am staying away from being Dr. Google.
Since my anxiety will just scare me out of my wits. So I banned myself from doing it.

So I haven't researched, other than drug interactions. Just to be sure that a medication I am on and the SSRI i am on are safe, or if I could use any other herbal medication with the SSRI.
Tonight I will enter 5 weeks of using the medication, and thus far everyday is a challenge.
I know I need patience, but its hard.

GP advised up to 6 weeks. I still struggle to think these are working or not, and that if they are not then I have to trial something else.

[PamelaR]

Hi Mattie B

I'm taking SSRI too. They have been affective for me right from the start. Though as it did take a number of weeks for my body to adjust.

If you want to see what others are saying, explore the 'Treatments, Health professionals and therapies' forum. You'll find many people who post about their experiences in this section. You could also do a search in the BB search field for some of the key words - medication, SSRI, anti depressants.

Hope this helps Mattie B. Let us know how you get on over the coming weeks - if and when you want to. No pressure.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[baet123]

Hey Mattie,

Welcome mate and thanks for sharing your story and situation with us. Really appreciate it and I feel for you mate. Your situation is tough and I can relate to what your going through.

I too was hesitant to take medication. The posts above have some great and fabulous information. I think it is natural to feel this way about starting meditacation but they worked for me and improved my quality of life ten fold. I was taking SSRI's and they were effective and started to improve my quality if life four week after starting. I would give it a go and just be aware of your feelings and physical/mental changes and express your concerns to your health professional. Please keep us informed of how your going and we are here for you if you need anything. Stay strong man and it will get better.

Baet123

[geoff]

Hi Mattie, I forgot to say I also take SSRI and have been for over 20 years, and when I asked my doctor and then my pharmacist if I could take the herbal product that is used for depression, they both said NO, you can't mix the two of them.

Your doctor would probably have put you on a low dose of SSRI, and after 6 weeks if you don't have any trouble with them, then they may increase the dosage.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Mattie_B]

I have been keeping a journal for my mental health.

4 days ago the doctor switched me to another SSRI medication as the first was having no effect.

Its a battle, now i have been told 2 weeks for this one to see if its working. The sleep deprivation is killing me. I cant continue down this path, and need some help.

Due to my depressive state and the way I have been open with my wife she contacted beyound blue tonight, and have been put through to a special team.

I have been suffering from severe insomnia for 2 months, and I have reached a breaking point. I think first most if i can get some sleep I can start controlling my emotions better around anxiety and depression.

So have a new action plan and will be seeing someone new tomorrow.

[geoff]

Hi Mattie, I'm sorry it still seems to be a struggle for you but pleased you are going to see someone else, ask them about the 'mental health plan', this entitles you to 10 free sessions with your psych, this may then reduce some anxiety about the costs of each session.

Best of luck.

Geoff.