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Psychologists encouraging dating?

JJ_K99
Community Member

I am just wondering if anyone ever had their psychologist encourging dating to them? My psychologist has been asking me "why don't you get a boyfriend" and I am sure she said it to help me. But I don't want to date anyone for the sake of dating especially when I am unstable with depression/anxiety and will have unrealistic expectation on the other person. Also, I am genuinely fine now but like until two years ago, i used to feel like there is something wrong with me for never having a boyfriend or having anyone interested in me in general. But idk, ever since my psychologist brought the topic up (even when i mentioned that i dont want to date anyone for sake of dating etc, I think she firmly believes it can help me?? idek) I think I've been relapsing into my old thought/emotions and a voice in my brain is keep saying I'm worthless.

Has anyone else had such experience?

5 Replies 5

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi JJ, that's a good question and something that others may also fear if they are suffering from anxiety/depression, but there is the possibility that when you are attracted to another person with these illnesses that suddenly your MI is put on hold, the honeymoon period takes over and you feel fabulous and in some situations maybe strong enough to help you out of feeling this way because they take your breathe away.

We all fall in love with people who are basically complete strangers, by looks, personality or what they are doing, and is able to push your MI aside, love is such a strong word.

Unfortunately this may not be the situation, but young love is certainly encouraged and no matter how much you are suffering, this connection is such a pleasant change to what you've been through, take it as a lovely, peaceful alternative.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Just Ken
Community Member

It is something that psychologists and psychiatrists often recommend, in my case both psychologists and the psychiatrist. It is based on the observation that people with partners often do better. On the other hand if someone feels that they won't cope with a relationship then that is quite possibly correct. I've taken the option of being involved in activities that I'm interested in and allow more interaction with people. It hasn't gone so well the last year thanks to covid, but this year should be better.

In some ways relationships seem difficult for people with a mental illness. It requires that the person you are with understands what is happening. I'm bipolar with fairly rapid cycling and I find it difficult at times to deal with it, let alone someone else.

Hi JJ_K99,

This is definitely interesting that the psychologist mentioned that but not unheard of!

From my own experience of having friends dealing with mental health, having a partner can help to be a support. Could the psychologist have encouraged dating from this perspective? To have another layer of support?

It's definitely tricky though because dating can be so hard! From my experience, I have found that it can either help or impact mental health.

Please keep us updated! Here for you!

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear JJ_K99~

You have taken that phrase to be an encouragement of dating, which I found to be a most emotional and difficult thing to do. I'm wondering if this was the intent.

It may be you wish to remain single and do not at the moment want to have to interact with another. Perhaps the question was to find out why, something you would have to look in yourself to find out.

Do you think this is possible?

Croix

missep123
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi JJ_K99,

I wanted to check in and see how you were doing!

We are here for you! 🙂