Psychologist / counselor questions and fears

[Burdy]

Hi everyone,

I have been hanging around the forum for a week or so now and am finding it very useful and generally feel a lot better after venting in a thread, thank you all.

During this time it is has occurred to me (and been mentioned by my hubby a few times) that I may need to see a psychologist or counselor, I feel like I have so much stuff inside that I need to get out.

My issue here is I have a bit of fear around this due to past experience.

My mother was always derogatory about people with mental illness, "stress, depression, anxiety etc is a man made disease" and "he/she just needs to toughen up and get on with it" type attitude and I recall these things being said ALOT.

There was also a time once when she gas lighted me, tried to have my ex convinced I was nuts and told me I could not have my son unless I went to counseling (my husband and I had separated, I asked her to look after my son for the night while he and I sorted a few things so as not in front of my toddler son, next day went to pick him up at the arranged time and she refused to hand him over and gave me the counseling ultimatum) so I went but of course it was a counselor she chose and after only 2 sessions I found out the counselor had reported to my mother everything I had said in the sessions and I was in big trouble.

So now I am a bit hesitant to see someone but I know I probably need to speak with someone trained to deal with my issues, absolutely no offence to anyone here you have all been wonderful but I think I also need a professional, maybe.

Also what is the cost usually? Affordability is also a concern (or excuse maybe)

Thank you again

Burdy

[bmacca64]

Hi Burdy

i was having issues dealing with some issues so I first went to see my GP. My GP told me that if I did a mental health plan I could get ten sessions in a year with a psychologist. I did the mental health plan which showed my state at the time and then booked into see the psychologist. I think the sessions are costing me $125 and I get $85 of that back through Medicare.

The psychologist I am seeing is excellent and has given me some strategies to help work through my issues. I would highly recommend seeing a good psychologist as I have been a sceptic in the past but have found they do actually help.

[MsPurple]

Hi Burdy

I am glad you are finding the forums helpful for yourself. It is good you can open up and vent here 🙂

I completely understand your concerns regarding confidentiality. I had a similar issue however I was under 16 so the confidentiality works differently, they can tell parents things they think necessary, but the things he openly discussed broke my trust and I couldn't open up after that.

Now I take confidentiality very serious. And so do most psychologist and counsellors. You can report a counsellor for breaking confidentiality and they can face serious consequences. It is something I suggest you openly discuss in your first session. The last few I have seen I have been very open about confidentialy and how I have trust issues. They have reassured me that they take confidentialy very seriously and will not break my trust. They also said without this trust they would never have a client base. They do have only a few reasons to break confidentialy. If you are at risk of harming yourself (not self harm but suicide) or risk of harming someone else. Other than that they can not break it

I think be very open with your new person you see. Let them know you past and issues concerning it. It would be a great place to start.

[geoff]

Hello Burdy, a good couple of replies already, but I'm so aghast at what was said to you and how you were treated and is not going to give you any confidence at all.

Nothing to worry about, but we want to you, there seems to be so much you want to talk about with a psychologist.

As mentioned there is the 'mental health plan', however, there are psychologists who do bulk bill, as my psych used to do this for people who were receiving payments from Centrelink, unfortunately, they maybe difficult to find, but ask them anyway or what you could do is ask them if they cut your session down, so they can bulk bill.

There is no harm in asking.

Geoff.

[Burdy]

Thank you bmacca64 and MsPurple for your replies.

My logical brain knows that confidentiality is a must with psychologists and counselors and I knew that at the time too and I could have reported her etc but the damage was already done.

But yes it confirmed alot of trust issues I already had.

I also feel a bit like my issues are just all in my head and I need to switch off the internal dialogue and just get on with my life, be grateful and proud of who I am and where I am today - but again that's my logical brain.

How often can you use the mental health care plan? My GP did it for me a couple years ago when I had PTSD from my husbands cardiac arrest, I went to 2 sessions but stopped going because I felt like I had to just pull my socks up and get on with it (over the past 45 yrs I have managed to suppress alot of things and cover up with a 'hard personality' which I'm now finding is part of my childhood conditioning)

I run through in my head what to tell my gp and I then start to talk myself into that it's stupid and I need to just get over myself.

[Burdy]

Even when I write my posts here, i start writing and it just pours out but then i go back and re read and edit a lot out coz i think "that's dumb and that silly"

Then I hit post reply and think I should have deleted the whole post , no one wants to hear my trivial problems, these people have had actual trauma in their lives.

But I continue to try because I'm finding it is helping me to open up some very secure parts of my memories and feelings and explore the reasons I am the way I am.

[Doolhof]

Hi Burdy,

I would like to encourage you to keep writing here. We all have our own issues and our own style of communicating.

It does not matter if we have for example broken a fingernail or had a finger removed, the problem we each have is real and just as important as anyone else's issues. ( maybe a poor example but all I can think of right now)

One thing I find helpful when seeing a new psychologist is to ask what I can expect from them, how they may be able to help me.

I sometimes write down questions as well in case I can't think when I get to the appointment.

It is my understanding that we are entitled to 10 Medicare funded psychologists appointments. It does seem to depend on the psychologist if they bulk bill or charge a gap.

Seeing a professional can certainly be very beneficial and an add to the support and help you are receiving here as well.

Just writing how I am feeling helps me immensely. People in this community can be very supportive.

Oh yes, we may have a diagnosis of mental health issues, a title does not have to define who we are and mental health problems are legitimate illnesses not just something in our heads that we caused ourselves.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Burdy,

Great to see you reaching out on the beyondblue forum. Don't worry about your writing style or if you have typos or make mistakes in your writing on the forum as it is a place to let your emotion out without judgement. When you write your emotion and thought down, they can often come out raw. This is okay on the forum and you will not be criticised for writing about a problem that you perceive as "small". Also, by reaching out early, you can find solutions and strategies to your problems before they get out of hand and become overwhelming. We all have issues that we need to get support to work through and we all do this in unique ways.

Gaining confidence in a health professional may be difficult due to your previous experience but I would recommend that you persist. Health professionals are bound by confidentially policy as well as professional practice guidelines. You might even mention to your new psychologist that you have had issues in the past so that they can offer your some reasuurance of your privacy.

Dools is right in that you receive ten psychological sessions per year when you and your GP develop a mental health care plan. These ten sessions can be renewed each year. You can discuss with your GP that you would like to see a psychologist who bulk bills or has only a small gap payment. They should be able to steer you in the right direction. I would also recommend writing down your goals before you visit your GP. That way you don't forget what you were going to say at your appointment. It is really common for many people (including me) to visit a GP and forget some of what you wanted to discuss. Another idea is to bring in a support person with you if you have someone that you trust.

It is tough to let your vulnerability show through but by opening your self up you are also opening your self up to new possibilities and may be able to find new strength and solutions towards reaching your goals and being the best you can be. It is not always easy to take the first steps but you are doing it and I hope you acknowledge yourself for taking these small but really important steps each day.

Let us know how you go with your GP appointment and keep posting on the forum. There are lots of different threads and using the search feature can help you find people who might be sharing in a particular experience or emotion.

Wishing you the best possible outcome.

Nurse Jenn

[smallwolf]

Burdy,

Tomorrow I go back to review (/renew) my mental health plan with my GP. I see a clinical psychologist and pay the gap. I will get 10 session under that - 6 initially, then review, and another 4. We think our problems might be "stupid" or nothing compared to others, but then I also remember the times I was or am at my worst. In between my sessions I write/wrote here and got replies from other users, which was helpful. Your thoughts are also similar to mine in that the problems are all in my head. But in seeing a psychologist (or professional) you get ways of challenging those thoughts and of distracting or coping mechanisms. It takes time, but is beneficial.

All the best,

Tim

PS. It also helps to do the homework if you get any from your psychologist. One of these is writing a journal of positive thoughts. While very difficult initially, it get easier. But there are days I I have to force myself to write them down.

[Burdy]

Thank you for your replies everyone,

Some days I struggle and some days I feel fine and a bit silly for feeling the way I did the day before.

I think I will go to my gp and find a psychologist even if it is not on going.

I just need to get through xmas (i hate this time of year, as hubby is self employed and his trade shuts down over xmas we have limited to zero income).

I have set myself some goals for the new year and gaining professional support is one of them.

Just as I am pushing myself to engage here, I know I need to do the same in the outside world. Thanks to you guys, now knowing what I am entitled to through a mental health care plan has helped alot.

Thanks again

Burdy