Psychiatrist questions

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, my name's Tayla and I'm 20.

Firstly, sorry for posting a couple of times. I'm just new to these BB Forums, and I'm just trying to interact with people and try to support others any way I can, well I try to. Plus asking questions myself.

Anyway, my question is:

How would a Psychiatrist (I have one of my own who I'm happy and comfortable with) comfort a distressed person? So crying for example? I see my Psychiatrist on Telehealth which is basically Skype, and surprisingly I haven't cried in front of him yet, because I try to be strong and hide it although I tell him everything, more than my GP actually because I feel more comfortable with him.

He's always polite and caring towards me which means so much. It's surprising that considering how stressed I am, that I haven't cried. So what I mean by what would a Psychiatrist do and how would they comfort a patient in distress, is would they try and reassure them/tell them it's okay to cry, things like that?

Or if in person would they hold the patient's hand, perhaps hug them, give them tissues? I've never actually met my Psychiatrist in person because he's in Sydney and I'm in regional Victoria, so it's about a 6 hour drive, not sure how long to fly. But I would like to try and arrange to see him in person one day for an appointment, do you think he'd do that? I don't see why not because after all I'm still a patient of his.

My apologies for these stupid questions. Maybe one day I'll cry because I'm pretty sensitive and weak, and see the outcome. With the vibe I get from him with his caring, kind, professional manner, I think he'd just hug me and give me a tissue or hold my hand in person, and try to make me feel better (he tries to make me feel better anyway).

I'd appreciate if people can answer this, and not judge please. I know they're silly questions and I'm sorry 😞 Please help.

Thank you,

Tayla xx

[Guest_4643]

Hey romantic_thi3f. Thanks for replying again, sorry that I'm just responding now.

Thank you. I'd say she's both misinformed & ignorant, I mean how did she even get the job as a Doctor at all? She doesn't even seem to enjoy her job at all.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences with people like that also. It really is terrible, they're supposed to help & be knowledgeable & caring, not the opposite.

I don't know about finding another GP, that's the only one in the town, the others are too far to drive (20-30 mins) & my parents would have to drive me (I have my Learners but never driven because of anxiety, I'm a failure because of that & many other things, sigh). But I've been looking into it.

As for the complaint I think it would be worthwhile, I know how much energy it takes, I did it before with my local Headspace when the manager & group members made fun of my mental illnesses, & I got the outcome I wanted, the manager lost her job. & yes I had evidence. I don't think it's right that I'm getting treated this way because it's discrimination, & I don't want this stuff happening to anyone else especially with mental health issues of any kind. She could be putting the public at danger if you think about it, especially not knowing what meds someone is taking because meds can mix together & be toxic, for mental health or any meds.

I see my Psychiatrist (I see him on Skype, so Telehealth) on Feb 18. I'll let him know all of this & ask his opinion then take it from there, perhaps he may make a complaint too. He finds it all disgusting & he's the only nice professional let alone therapist I've ever had, true story. So I'm thankful for him & I don't want to lose that.

Thanks for your reply & suggestion & whatnot. Love & hugs,

Tayla x

[TheBigBlue]

Hi All,

I just stumbled across this thread after an unexpected outcome with my psychologist today.

i opened up to her about something that happened to me as a child. It was a quite distressing incident for me & I cried while telling her about it. And the incident still affects/distresses me today.
But we talked through it & by the end of the session I was feeling better & we had a bit of a joke around.

Then as I stood up to leave, she hugged me (for clarification I am also female). Now I was always under the impression they never touched clients. She is the 3rd psychologist I have seen over the years & she is the first one who has ever instigated any contact.

it was definitely unexpected & I was very surprised, but it wasn’t unwelcome as I was quite distressed & she did say to me it was clearly a traumatic experience.

Anyway, in all honesty I just found it a little bit weird. I would never cross that boundary with a medical professional & while I’m not upset she did it, I definitely feel weirded out about it.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi TheBigBlue,

Thank you for your post and I appreciate you sharing. It sounds like it was a really hard conversation with your psychologist and I'm glad that she was able to be there for you while you talked about your experiences and offer some support.

I understand that you would find the hugging weird, especially since it took you by surprise!

Hugging is a tricky one for professionals - some steer clear of it completely and others don't. It's a bit of a spectrum where there can be times where it would be appropriate and helpful, and then times where it is definitely inappropriate and unhelpful. It really depends on that situation and the client, and no two will be the same.

The thing that bothers me a little is that in all cases of hugging, the professional should never instigate it without having consent. Just because a person might seem like they need a hug doesn't necessarily mean they want to be touched - so while reading your post I thought it was a bit inappropriate that your psychologist didn't ask you first to see if touch would be okay.

I hope that by sharing this it helps you understand the boundaries a little bit more. You can always share how you are feeling with your psychologist too.

rt

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tayla,

I hope you are doing well!

I just wanted to let you know that while I have read your posts and replies to me, I noticed that you are getting lots of other support from the forums which is why sometimes I haven't replied back. I often do this with members and step back if I think they are getting other support.

Just wanted to let you know that - but I've definitely been interested in how you are going and hoping your appointments with the psychiatrists are going well 🙂

rt

[TheBigBlue]

Thanks for your reply.

Even a day later it still feels weird thinking about it. I think it was only because of the distress I was in that she did it, but if she does it again I might ask her to not do it.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi TheBigBlue,

Part of me is guessing that if it still feels weird now - maybe there's a part of it that wasn't welcomed? My psychologist doesn't hug me and I think if she randomly did it definitely would surprise me.

Please know you are more than welcome to tell your psychologist in the next appointment, without having to wait for her to do it again - not only will it help you, but it will help her too. It might be a bit uncomfortable but in the long run I do think it will be worth it - feedback is so essential

rt

[Guest_4643]

Hi TheBigBlue, romantic_thi3f and others. Thank you all for replying here.

I know it's a weird question but i'm just curious really. It's different for me since I see my Psychiatrist on Skype so that also makes me more curious.

That was nice that your Psych hugged you TheBigBlue, it must mean she's genuine and cares and wants to try and make you feel better?

No worries for you not replying romantic_thi3f, I had a break from here anyway. My Psychiatrist sessions have been going well, just wish I can see him more. I saw him on Feb 18 and don't see him again until March 30, sigh. I changed GPs though, see the new GP again on March 13

Take care all,

Tayla

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi there The Big Blue,

I am a health professional and definitely feel like I want to offer the people I talk with a hug at times, especially if they are hurt or have experienced a trauma, but I don't. I would suggest that you address the experience with your Psychologist and 'clear the air' as romantic_thief has said so well. If you don't, it could interfere with your progress. Your psychologist may have just wanted to comfort you but it didn't and your boundaries and personal space have felt crossed to some degree. I would consider telling them that the hug felt out of place and that you would prefer that they didn't do it in the future. They will no doubt, take this on board.

I have learned most of my best lessons as a nurse from the people that I support and it has usually been by making an assumption and then later having a discussion with a person about it. These experiences have helped me grow as a health professional.

Wishing you best at your next appointment no matter what you decide to do.

Nurse Jenn

[Guest_4643]

Interesting Nurse Jenn, thank you for your reply.

Hi to everyone else on the thread. This thread is so stupid though, I'm sorry everyone. Such silly unnecessary questions I asked here.

Thanks all for your replies and for not judging me though. I appreciate it.

Tayla

[TheBigBlue]

Thanks for your reply Nurse Jen,

i am certain she was doing it to offer comfort. I was & still am really distressed what we spoke about.

Her hug is the least of my concerns at the moment, I’m just so confused with my past. My psychologist is one that specialises in chronic illness however the subject that came up was an incident from my past. It may sound really weird, but I’m not sure if what I experienced was abuse.
I was a young kid & they took advantage of me. The more I read up on it & the more I think about how distressed I was at the time, how I would cry & beg my mother to not take me back to that doctor & how he must have known what he was doing wasn’t right but just took his opportunity.

I'm just struggling to comprehend that it happened, that it is abuse, that if it happened now as an adult it would definitely be considered inappropriate & I would report him.

But I’m even more confused because my mum was in the room EACH TIME it happened. I don’t understand why she didn’t tell him to stop. I was too young to know we could have gone to a different doctor. Im too ashamed to tell anyone in the family and even weirder I don’t want to ruin my sisters relationship with mum so feel like I need to keep it hidden away, like I have done my entire life.

i can’t understand why me in tears before each appointment wasn’t enough for my mum to think something was wrong. Even if she didn’t think it was wrong, she could see how upset I was.... but did nothing?

i honestly feel so lost & having trouble dealing with all these thoughts going non-stop through my head.

ive probably posted this in completely the wrong thread but I need to get it out, it’s consuming me.

Sorry everyone, I’m just hurting so much & have absolutely no one to turn too.