Good morning mocha
It sounds like anxiety is pretty much 'ruling the roost' alot in your life.
It would REALLY help to have a big notebook and write write write.
Like you could have a Session 1 heading and write ANYTHING and everything that you're thinking about session 1 down there. Any worries, any thoughts. You don't have to share this with anyone.
It's mainly to get those thoughts OUT of your head so they don't keep rumbling around and around in your head.
IME beating anxiety and depression takes A LOT of discipline.
You need to choose the most problematic time in your day and tackle that first. I think sleep is one of them for you?
This helped me immensely over the years....
In my most anxious times I put a huge scrapbook next to my bed. With a big fat crayon on top of it. Once I turned off my bedside lamp that was it - it STAYED off.
IF I thought of anything or if something woke me up (which it always did in my most anxious times) then I leaned over & scribbled a code word on the scrapbook with the crayon WITHOUT turning on the light. Said to myself 'I can deal with that tomorrow'.
You may need a number of strategies to help you sleep or stop worrying / ruminating over things, but unless you do these with discipline, nothing anyone suggests will work.
When people suggest things and we think "Oh that won't work" and don't try it then ofcourse it won't work lol, we didn't even TRY it.
And we need to give it a good month or more to begin to see a real difference.
Also if we're aiming for Mental HEALTH then doing things that are mentally HEALTHY will help.
Love EM
