On meds for almost a year with continuing anhedonia

autumnzephyr · ‎21-10-2015

Hi, I've probably had depression for many years. I previously had depression but had recovered. This time it took a lot longer to realise what was going on. Last year around february I started seeing a psychologist who didn't help at all and didn't actually diagnose me with depression. I stopped seeing her after she basically recommended i split with my partner and then was suprised that this didnt help. In November last year I started on an ssri which I took for almost 6 months with minor improvement. Meaning I no longer felt horribly guitly and ashamed all the time. This also followed me splitting with my partner (who was lovely). I was then switched to another medication and went backwards. Now I've been to a one off psychiatrist appt and am on a different ssri at a high dose, and am supposed to increase next week after six weeks at this dose. I'm occasionally seeing a new psychologist. But I still don't feel like anything is working.I still lack interest in life. I have a terminally ill family member and I feel I'm squandering the time we have left because my feelings and emotions are so numb. I keep wanting and hoping the meds will work. I've tried mindfulness techniques, eating well,exercising. Can anyone offer any hope that the meds will work when I increase my dose? I'm being treated for severe depression and some level of anxiety.

JessF · ‎21-10-2015

Hello autumnzephyr, we're not doctors here so can't tell you whether or not your medication regime is going to work. One thing I do know from my many years of lioving with depression is that medication is not the magic solution to managing your illness. You also need to take into importance 'life triggers', significant events in your life that will impact on your mood. You have named two within the last year - splitting up with your partner, and having a terminally ill family member. These are massive issues, and I would say it would be of more concern if you were happy at the moment. How would you like things to be different at the moment?

autumnzephyr · ‎21-10-2015

I believe I was depressed prior to these two events occurring. It just got worse afterwards. The psychiatrist I saw considers me to be suffering from both short term grief and long term underlying depression.

I know that medication takes time to work.

I continue to do activities that should be enjoyable but gain no pleasure from them. I want to enjoy things in my life again. I hoped that when I was on the right medication/dosage my enjoyment would return. I recently read a hyperbole and a half comic which I unfortunately related to quite a lot, particularly feeling a whole lot of nothing.

JessF · ‎22-10-2015

That numbness you describe sounds very grief-related. When faced with losing a loved one, everything in life can seem trivial by comparison. I think the numbness is a bit of a 'safety valve' to stop us feeling too much sometimes.

The other thing too is that some people complain that medications leave them feeling a bit numb, so it could be worth you talking to your doctor about this.

Katie2015 · ‎28-10-2015

HI Autumnzephyr,

When we feel depressed we want medication to work quickly, I acknowledge that you said you know it takes time but that time is so frustrating isn't it? In my experience meds can take up to 6 weeks to really kick in. Did you like the psychiatrist that you saw? It's important to have someone who you can have faith in, but hang in there and give these meds a fair trial.

As for psychologists, there is nothing wrong with seeing a few different people until you find someone you click with. I think it's good to see someone who is empathetic but will also challenge your thoughts. I have found Acceptance and Commitment therapy to be helpful for me.

If this medication doesn't work for you there are others to try and also non medication treatments available now. The Black Dog Institute and also Beyond Blue has information on these treatments. Best of luck and don't give up! There is an answer it just might take a little while to find it.

gnomadicmind · ‎28-10-2015

Hello autumnzephyr. Quite a few people have addressed some other issues you mentioned. I have been in some very similar circumstances as yourself. I think that if you noticed an improvement when you started taking medication again, that the chances are that you will notice an improvement with an increase, however, this unfortunately takes time. It seems medication is a bit of 'trial and error' until you find what works for you, and the right dosage, and sometimes this needs 'tweaking' during 'life events'. Then there are side effects which may increase when you increase your dosage. Things like numbness and increased anxiety among many others. Everyone's brain chemistry is different though. It's unfortunate that we have to go through this process. It isn't pleasant! I'm not a doctor or a pharmacist though and I have been told when increasing meds to ALWAYS check in with my psych or GP. Even a good pharmacist perhaps if you're worried about it's effectiveness after 3-4 weeks or have any concerns whatsoever.

I'm really sorry to hear about the inappropriate psychologist experience that you had also. Have you discussed this with your new psych and psychiatrist? Is there any need for some relationship counselling? For you and your ex. It almost sounds as though you made a decision that wasn't really made at the right time, and was influenced by your psychologist, who should only ever guide and advise you. Not make decisions or judgements for you. I wish you all the best. I know how hard it is adjusting to meds. There's been some wonderful responses to your post that have helped me, and I hope that they have helped you even more!