Not motivated enough for therapy

[Quivz]

I have depression and anxiety. My anxiety is (was diagnosed as) severe. My depression springs from my anxiety, but is not as severe. I sought help and got a psychologist and have had 10 - 15 sessions and get nothing out of it. They haven't told me anything i dont know, they haven't got me to do anything i haven't always done. I've lost the motivation to continue as CBT appears to be all they have to offer and i can do that myself, and have been doing so my entire life.

Medication has also failed as all the types i've tried do little more than make me less depressed. Apparently most of them should help with the anxiety, but this has not been the case for me.

My conditions have prevented any attempt at lifestyle changes as i cant stick to any change longer than a few days without feeling like its futile or simply not something i want as part of my lifestyle in the first place. Diet is a product of lifestyle and i basically eat whats put in front of me and if nothing is put in front of me i either eat nothing or buy fast food. I don't have enough motivation to force the discomfort of diet or lifestyle changes.

i first sought help several years ago because i felt like i'd hit rock bottom. The only thing thats changed is that i've got names for my conditions. Other than that i have not progressed in any way.

All the doctor has to offer is a different psychologist. But he warns me that it will be the same approach anyway.

So whats left? Should i be considering hospitalization?

[white knight]

Hi Quivz

We cant determine things like hospitalisation, the same reason why we cant talk specifically about medication brand names.

Your conditions seem complex to me and I've had anxiety and am now anxiety free. I have dysthymia (a low mood constant depression), depression and bipolar type 2.

My anxiety peaked in 1988 following a workplace incident. I began with therapy for 12 months and medication. Then after 12 years was able to stop the meds, then 13 years later there was no sign of anxiety at all. Throughout that 25 years I went through the process of muscle tensioning exercises every night before sleeping. This is a process of tensioning up individual muscles starting from your feet right up to your head for 15 seconds at a time then tensioning up all muscles for 30 seconds. The whole process should take 20 minute or so. It certainly worked for me.

Other than that google the following and have a read of these articles-

"Topic: Success!!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment- beyondblue"

"topic: Depression our ultimate goal- beyondblue"

"Topic: Motivation- search and rescue it- beyondblue"

"Topic: Feeding your brain- beyondblue"

"Topic: Been there done that syndrome- beyondblue"

Cheers.   Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Quivz, I'm not sure that being hospitalised is going to help you, although it may while you're in there but then
what happens when you leave, that's always a difficult question to answer.
The awful news is that depression and anxiety won't automatically disappear after 10 to 15 sessions, that's something we
all wish would happen, but that's a dream that doesn't always come true, and yes it is so disappointing.
When a psychologist starts telling you what is wrong and what you are suffering from, all of which you have already known,
then you turn off from them, so as the saying goes 'it goes in one ear and out the other', so your attention has lost
focus.
I wonder whether you have seen a psychiatrist who can then prescribe different medication and then another approach on
how to deal with your illness's, because having depression as well as anxiety are classified as being an illness.
Your lifestyle changes won't happen at the moment, because (a)- you have no energy to ever consider doing so
(b)- because all you doing is jumping up and down in the same spot
(c)- why would you want to start dieting when you feel that nothing has even begun to get better, so in other words
everything is going around in circles for you, and that's why you need somone different to tackle all your problems.
Remember that psychologist's and psychiatrist's operate differently in how they counsel their clients, along with medication
which your GP hadn't considered, which maybe a new start, but please let us know how you feel. Geoff.

[Quivz]

It's not that the psychologist and psychiatrist haven't told me anything new. If you had asked me before these initial sessions if i was depressed i probably would have said no, because i didn't really understand what it is. That understanding has been helpful and with it came an acceptance and lessening of the depression. Knowing that it was kind of normal allowed me to open one of the loops and let it go. That i must admit was great, but that was session one.

My problem is that going to regular sessions with the psychologist and having them tell me to try and do things i've been trying to do all my life doesn't feel helpful. Take for example the recommendation that i practice talking to strangers. The stated purpose is that if i continue to practice i will become used to it and the feelings of anxiety will lessen. Well i've been doing that for more than 20 years. Not because a therapist told me to do so, but because I thought feeling anxious in these situations didn't seem to be what was expected and so i practiced to change that behavior. Now I'm exceptionally good at seeming confident and comfortable in conversations with strangers, but my (well hidden) anxiety about the situation has not lessened by this exposure. I long ago reached the point where even the people who know me best think i am confident and a people person, when the opposite is actually true. I can function fine pretending my way through 3 or 4 of these interactions a week, but if I am exposed to it too much the stress becomes too much and my depression builds. I'm mindful of how i think and always have been so analyzing my thoughts, feelings and actions is nothing new either. In fact 2 psychologists and the psychiatrist have commented on the fact that i seem to know and practice all the tricks and exercises they would recommend already. Which brings me back to 'why am i seeing a therapist' if even they think they aren't telling me anything i don't already know.

i haven't given up on getting better. I'm just disillusioned with the therapy i've received. It feels like i'm going to therapy for their benefit not my own. An argument could be made for allowing them to check up on my progress, but I'm not going to progress from where they first gave me something to try if i was already 2 decades into trying that and i've basically reached the pinnacle (or at least a really high plateau) of that method already.