narcissistic abuse syndrome - c ptsd support australia

[reallym3again]

looking for support for narcissistic abuse syndrome or cptsd experienced professionals in australia.. 

it has been too long, i need to get real support instead of videos from o.s. persons who offer so much wisdom but i cannot connect to work through my stuff. i want to heal so i can be a better mum.

[Lipak]

This post makes me feel like I'm not alone.

My wife used to criticise me unfairly all the time and when I tried to talk to her about it I was constantly gaslighted about it. Pretended she didn't know what I was talking about. Said it never happened. Said I took it the wrong away. After I called it out, it became more and more covert. She knew my soft spots and she would jab at them.

Counsellors barely believed me. When I mentioned the word gaslighting they changed the subject. Including couples counsellors. Including Relationships Australia, who said "I'm sure you felt like you were gaslighted" and we moved on without ever talking about it. Adding insult to injury. Like "you're crazy, it didn't happen, let's not talk about it, move on".

Like Tardy, she now only attacks my self esteem when I'm feeling vulnerable. She senses it, and goes for it. And very covertly so I can't call it out. And then enjoys when she sees it stings. My whole family were gaslighters, who I even voluntarily estranged myself from for a period. Is it any wonder then?

When you're stuck with your gaslighter, with kids and finances at risk, it feels hopeless. When counsellors have disbelieved you and insulted it. It hurts a lot.

I'm trying to heal. Step by step. Stay strong everyone.

[Marley11]

Hello Chris,

I have read your reply in this forum and would appreciate if I can get some info on how to connect with peer support.

I was the only child of a single (violent) narcissistic mother and, no surprise married a narcissist. Over the past two years (since I learned about narcissism) I have worked hard on overcoming my issues but I feel the subconscious programming runs so deeply, I can't seem to get on top on my own. I still keep attracting the same kind of people into my life.

If anyone can recommend a psychologist in the (western) Brisbane area I'd be very grateful too.

Many thanks and may you all have a peaceful Xmas.

Marley

[Guest_1643]

HI Marley -

unfortunately we are not able to recommend specific psychologists

peer support workers and social workers are also good avenues for getting MH help related to abuse and trauma -they are accesssed through the public hospital system... or organisations like Wellways

SANE australia is a good helpline for trauma sensitive support

But I've found the others less helpful when u have experienced trauma
I'm so sorry you are struggling and hope u remember you deserve the best help

It can be hard to find it - but it's worth it in the end. The system is certainly not so easy to navigate and to be real not every psychologist can help with trauma

Like an earlier poster wrote -sometimes you mention trauma or absue and their eyes glaze over or they change the subject, which is wholly retraumatising.

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, Marley11, we're sorry to hear about your experience but glad to hear you're thinking about seeking some ongoing psychological support. 

There is a really great website (https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist) that may help you with your quest to find a psychologist - you are able to search based on location and specificality you'd like to cover with them in therapy. 

All the best in finding the right person that fits for you. Please feel free to let us know how you go. 

 

[Survivor88]

Hi, just read your post about PTSD and surviving emotional and psychological abuse and co worker being hard as you can't walk away. I'm currently dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship with an ex who also happened to be a co worker who was seen as a very influential and respected caring man at work. All i will say is it was a nightmare I'm thankful I escaped. It turned very ugly towards the end with physical abuse too, but master manipulations where no one believed me, and probably still don't. But I'm tired of sounding like a broken record repeating the same events again and again to people around me who simply say he's in your past move on. It's not tht simple when someone strips you mentally and psychologically all while acting like i was the issue. Im also tired of actually thinking maybe i was the issue but the only relfection point i keep coming back to is i needed to have stronger boundaries. But to your point getting away from someone so controlling is almost impossible esp in lockdown where work is at home. And at home is comstant mind games and abuse. I signed up here to try find some degree of sanity to see if i was infact delusional about what occured. But day by day as the events come back to me I see the manipulations and abuse clearly and I've been fluctuating between feeling angry and immense pain. If there are others who have been through this too, i have so much respect for anyone who has survived such abuse. Because to your point it canmot be proven and no body believes you. Which is exactly what my ex did invalidated my needs and feelings by saying Im being delusional when all i had waa severe anciety attacks from his abuse and mind games in the first place. Like i said its a nightmare Im glad to leave in my past. I'm trying to build myself back up again as I feel he stripped me away of my personality. I dont even know if thats actually possible to do.