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My negative experience with psychotherapy

BadTherapy
Community Member

People like to talk about how therapy is the safe haven for all your problems, but I want to give some helpful tips about the negatives I've experienced to show that it's not always true:

  1. your therapist will say you can talk about anything, but be very careful. If you start talking about other issues beside what you are originally there for, be prepared to have your therapy terminated by the therapist at any time and be sent back to your GP.
  2. if your therapist starts talking about working with others, it's their flowery way of telling you they can't/won't be treating you for much longer because they're referring you to someone else.
  3. remember that to your therapist you are just a job; don't bother telling them they make you feel safe, loved, happy, etc... because they don't and can't legitimately accept those feelings and you'll be devastated when they're not reciprocated (also see point 1).
  4. your therapist is always taking notes about you and how to appear - and you should do the same about them. Either during or after each session, note down whatever you think about what they've said or how they've said it, such as if they're wrong about something.
  5. consider using a recording device (even just your phone) to record the session for your own benefit and so you can refer back to something you or they have said. You can start recording and shove it in your pocket before each session.
  6. don't be intimidated or pressured into revealing what you've written about the session or your therapist, or that you're even doing so.
  7. don't be intimidated or pressured into saying something you're not sure of or you might regret later. If you're not sure about something, say you're not sure or have to think about it some more, and between sessions think about why they're asking, your possible answers, how your answer is going to be perceived as a reflection of yourself, and if you even want to answer at all.
  8. don't feel as though you need to go through the entire "termination process" if you or they terminate therapy. It's your choice to leave at any point; you're under no obligation to be there if you don't want to be.
  9. be extremely careful about doing or saying anything which may be perceived by your therapist as you being in imminent danger, especially based on your mood, because they may try to physically restrain you which could be severely distressing.
  10. ask them to be unambiguously clear about what they mean if you don't understand.
2 Replies 2

Paul
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi BadTherapy.

Glad you made the list of negatives and more importantly dropped by to put them here on the forums.

Seems like you've had a really shitty run with therapy and I get the impression it's been with more than one therapist and you're pretty angry about the whole lot. Are you comfortable to share some examples of what happened that led you to write the list?

Paul

dmg
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi BadTherapy

That sounds like you have got a lot off your chest - your anger and frustration are palpable. However, your reference to a "safe haven"that concerns me. It comes across as if therapists can protect you from a difficult outside world. They are just human beings and have faults as we all do. Perhaps you are just unlucky or perhaps you have had high expectations that have not been met. You have appropriately pointed out that you have rights. but also remember that to achieve some positive results, you have to contribute to a shared and hopefully equal relationship.