Multiple counsellors??

[Alooshk]

Hello everyone!

Has anybody tried having 2 counsellors? I have a psychologist at the moment who I think is great I've seen some progress with him but with his long line of patients and clients he has he doesn't have a lot of time to tend to me and my emails. Even when he does he doesn't have all the time in the world to read what I've written and usually sends a very short response. Sometimes it's 1 email to every 9 I send to him. It's nothing against him he is great but a lot of the time it's urgent and it just feels like I'm left to sit with the issue. Is this the norm? Do counsellors tend to be as absent as mine? And should I find a therapist on the side to be there for every other moment where he's not? Maybe one that is more nurturing, more present and doesn't have the huge spread of patients to give more attention? How would that work? Would my psychologist and therapist need to work together? Would it be counter productive? Just confuse me?

Thanks!

[geoff]

Hello Alooshk, and a warm welcome to the forums.

You ask a good question and it is frustrating when we have finally found a psychologist or counsellor who connects not only with us but also with what we've been saying, but once the session is over, we keep asking ourselves questions and/or in different scenarios which can make us begin to feel tense or agitated, and only know this because it used to happen with me.

Our natural instinct is to email or to try and ring our therapist for a solution that will calm us back down, unfortunately, neither happens, not so much because they don't want to, but they may be busy with another client and they generally don't like to give information away unless they are being paid for it.

I remember I tried doing this with my psychologist but all I was told was to ring reception and make another appointment and I had been seeing her for 20 years (Workcover).

If you make an appointment with someone else, you can't be sure the same will happen, and in my opinion, if you have too many therapist's then one may disagree with the other, however, that's not to say that the two of them may be able to combine their ideas together , this you will find out when and if it happens, and I'm not a doctor to say this, it's just an observation.

Let us know what you think.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Alooshk,

Great question! I think this is a really tricky one to answer though because it just depends on who you see.

When you are talking about the emails, I think it's less about the ratio and more about his availability and time in general- i.e. if he responds as often as you reply, is that daily/weekly/monthly? My psychologist is really good with emails and replying to them but my last one would just wait until the next session to talk about it. Even if yours has 10 clients in total it could still just be his preference in general; you could absolutely bring this up with him.

When you are thinking about getting another therapist to be there for you in the times he's not, what would that look like? Is that someone to see weekly when you can only see your current one monthly..? I really want to answer this question but I'm not entirely sure what that nurturing approach would look like.

I don't know if this is helpful, because everyone is so different. I see my psychologist as very nurturing even though she has a lot of clients, where as my last one felt a little cold at times and they didn't have many clients at all! So while it definitely plays a part, it might just be finding the right fit. Psychologists can definitely work together and talk together (with your permission) so long as they can complement each other and not confuse you! It's also 100% okay to have a chat about this with your psychologist; they might have some suggestions as well.

rt

[Alooshk]

Hey Romantic Thi3f

Yeah he responds maybe once a week or maybe every two weeks with a very short 1 or 2 liner. I probably send him paragraphs and plenty of emails, he doesn't respond to most of it and only responds to maybe one specific, very easy to read email whilst the rest are just kind of history. I have yet to hear him bring up some of the issues I bring up in the emails in our sessions, we're following this kind of program-like progression thing happening here but my specific problems I face throughout the weeks of waiting are barely brought up.

I was thinking if I had another therapist they would more directly fill in those more immediate problems I'm facing there (i'm thinking of like a text-based therapist that you see on betterhelp I'm not really sure how all that goes). They'd fill in that emotional aspect I expected counsellors to fill in and be less absent than my current one whilst my current psychologist would spearhead my progression. I remember for my second ever session with him he made me wait 3 weeks for our next one when I felt vulnerable the most. Those 3 weeks felt like hell for me and I went through every type of breakdown imaginable. Worst thing is I don't think I ever told him, I'm not fully fully comfortable with telling him everything in regards to our sessions. I'm not sure exactly how many patients my psychologist has but it seems like a lot.

Hope I gave you a better idea of my situation rt, hope to hear from you soon!

Alooshk.

[Alooshk]

Hi Geoff.

I have definitely thought about me constantly emailing my psychologist was counter-intuitive considering how then I'd be dependant on somebody else for my sense of healthiness and comfort so I would need a little bit of distance for me to independently learn how to fish for my own fish. But I still think there's an importance in the emotional aspect of things which I feel is sorely lacking.

I feel lucky in this regard though because he certainly doesn't feel like he needs to be paid to reply to my emails, they were his idea to gauge better at my problem which he understands very well now and is only getting better and does respond when he can. I don't really look for comfort but more on how I can more properly apply coping strategies in certain situations. Especially my first couple of weeks I was an absolute wreck and even with a sober head looking back now in hindsight with that three week wait time for the next session for my third ever session when I was feeling particularly vulnerable, the handling of that just feels like a red flag to me I can't ignore, no matter how much better I get.

Those are my two cents on the situation and I hope you got a better idea of my circumstances with my other post combined with this one.

Thanks for the response and your time, hope to hear soon!

Alooshk.

[geoff]

Hello Alooshk, thanks for getting back to us and understand what you're saying, the other concern is whether you can pay for another counsellor.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Alooshk,

Thank you for helping me understand! Now that I have more info, my oh so helpful (haha) response is: it depends 🙂

Every psychologist and psychiatrist is different. Some allow emails, some don't. It just depends on their capacity. My psychologist doesn't give me much detail back but we can talk about things together, where as my old one would just bring it up in session. My psychiatrist I only email for medication/appointment questions, so everyone is really different.

I'm wondering if maybe they feel like you are giving them background and not needing them to reply? I say this because sometimes it's easier to email rather than talk, so he may not know that you are wanting that support over email too. Even with the big 3 week gap, is that because of his availability/didn't know you wanted one?

This probably seems a bit rambly but I think it would be really helpful to try and talk to them about it. I get that it can be really uncomfortable but that way you can really understand.

As for Better Help too, I've looked into it and could definately share more; there's lots of services like that which are really different to what we have here.

and finally.. I did see your other post with the profanity. It's not that unusual to see a psychologist swear, but it's usually mirroring (they swear if you swear), but what they said to you didn't sound very helpful or appropriate.

rt

[P12]

Hi Alooshk,

I have had a similar thought to you about having multiple practitioners but the handful I have approached in the past nine months have told me they have a policy against seeing someone already in contact with another practitioner.

My first practitioner suggested I could try to get around the problem by not informing any second practitioner of my other commitment but since I have been deterred from trying again.

If you are successful, I think you will probably need to pay for the second practitioner without a rebate because I believe the rebate systems in Australia generally only compensate you for one person at a time.

[Guest_1643]

Hi all, tbh I recommend this, I think it's OK to see two practitioners if both are clear on their roles, eg one specialises in body image, trauma, etc, while other works on general therapy. Many ppl do see a psychiatrist and a psychologist together, or have a similar arrangement, it has worked well for me in the past and gave me greater security and calm.