Mixed feeling about work.

[WeAllNeedHelp]

Hi all, Kaylee here.

So I have recently started a new job as a registered nurse around 2 months ago at my local hospital. It feels nice to be in the work force working however I am already starting to feel burnt out? Not exactly sure what it is I am feeling. I don't mind the shift work and working up to 6 days in a row, however I am not enjoying the ward itself that I am on. I don't know if it's the environment ( I think this is a major part) as it is a busy and fast paced ward, and/or partly the people even though they are good for the most part. So I don't know what to do, if I should start looking for a new position, or just wait it out until my contract has finished in January? I know the transition is hard from finishing Uni and finding my feet in a new job. In saying this I feel like I didn't go through 3.5 years of uni to have anxiety going into work because I feel like I'm going to have a terrible shift because I wont be able to come and because I am not enjoying it and I'm already not wanting to be there. I am seeing a counsellor in a few days so I will ask for some advice there also. I just don't want to quit after putting in so much time and effort to get this far.

On top of all of this I have recently started back on my antidepressant medications as I feel it was important to try them while starting. They have helped somewhat in my emotional state but they still can only do so much. SO trying to manage this on top of the stresses at work has been making it a struggle as I don't want people to think I am not cut out for the job due to the high standard expected of me to be able to deliver the best care. How can I do this when I am trying to manage my emotions outside AND inside of work hours ? I have already taken one mental health day for myself which was REALLY nice. I can't afford to take any more!

Cheers

[Croix]

Dear Kaylee~

Welcome here to the Forum. As you are finding there is huge difference between uni and shift-work on a busy ward. I'm sure a fair number of people struggle with this. Even placement is not the same, often one does that with fellow students which can be a real comfort.

I guess you talk about two problems, the first is an underlying state which you've taken ADs for in the past. That plus anxiety. So can I ask first off how much medical support are you having for these? Transition to FT work is hard enough without having to deal with illness too.

As I mentioned I don't think your reaction is that unusual and hospitals do have avenues to help - basically they are most probably quite used to this. While I don't know the actual structure I would expect there is a supervisor or leader who you can talk too in confidence, discuss how you are feeling and what normally happens. There may well be options with less stress for a while.

I made a huge mistake in not recognizing what was happening to me, and this made my treatment so much harder. Getting in early while things are still manageable has to be the way to go.

Nursing is a huge field, from A&E to aged care and education, One is exceptionally lucky if one finds a perfect fit straight off. Making adjustments can be the difference between great difficulties and a happy career.

Croix

[PamelaR]

Hi Kaylee and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Good on you for sharing your story here. There are so many things that must be going on for you - changes from going to university, to working full time, to the environment in a hospital. All very challenging I'd expect. It's normal to feel anxiety when you start a new job, though if it continues then think about whether it is the right work for you.

I realise that will be so hard to manage - all those years of study to think you don't want to do it. My heart goes out to you because I did exactly the same thing. Studied social sciences wanting to get into a field where I could influence social policy, however, I didn't even get to find a job. I opted out. Had no confidence in myself.

Our community here has many members who have worked in the nursing profession where peer support can give you ideas for ways for coping. Are you okay with doing a search in the BB website? Maybe keywords like - nursing and anxiety, work burn out. If you're up to it, you could join the discussions that are going on - get some ideas?

You've done really well in making an appointment with a counselling and starting your ADs again. I would go to a doctor too, just to make sure the medication is right for you at this particular time of your life.

Keep reaching out if and when you want Kaylee. You're not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[WeAllNeedHelp]

Hi guys - thankyou for your replies and support.

I saw my GP this morning and he would like me to see how I go uping my dosage on my tablets. As far as talking to my manager goes, I am undecided as to how I feel about talking to her about trying to deal with this and working 4-6 days at a time. She has super high standards in her staff to be able to deliver the best possible care. In saying this, I do feel like I am competent yes, but I fear she will twist my words and see me as not capable. I have wanted to explain to her that in order for me to be the best then would it be possible to drop back a shift a fortnight or not work more than 4-5 days in a row.

I just don't want to be a quitter and go back to where I was before with no job. I find talking to people / writing helps to debrief from my emotions but it is only short term. I feel like seeing someone / talking to someone once a fortnight (which I have only started in the last couple of weeks) still might need to be increased.

Thanks again for your replies, It has helped in reassessing where I am at and what I actually need 🙂

Kayled

[Croix]

Dear Kaylee~

I read elsewhere that you have a problem relating to your partnership and have a desire to be in contact wiht someone from work. I think you may have faced this issue before last year. In fact you are in two minds over this colleague, just texting being one thing, but a desire for more too.

After 3 years if things aren't going well in your relationship do you think talking things over might be a start. Perhaps it might lead nowhere, however then again it might. You did talk of leaving, is that your firm intention?

The fact you are attracted to others may mean there is something lacking at home, and if your partner understands maybe things can be improved to the extent you are both happy and content. Is it worth a go?

I would like to mention one other thing, that if you have the impression it would be good being with another it does not mean that other person feels the same -or that what you hoped for did not turn into disappointment. When unhappy it is very natural to see other options as better, sadly not always the case as wishful thinking can enter into it. What are your thoughts?

Croix