Is there really help out there

[Aware]

Two years ago I suffered a mental breakdown. I became quite ill, and reluctantly started taking medication 6 weeks later because I was told by a doctor that I would only get worse if I didn't. It wasn't a magical cure, and it didn't change everything that I was going through, however I did begin to feel a bit better. There's no ignoring it, there is a stigma attached to mental heath issue's, and I have lost a lot of people in my life, to the point where I don't see or speak to many people at all. Anyway, I took myself off my medication after 6 months, but 13 weeks ago I hit rock bottom again. This time I made a call for help, I was scared with how I was feeling. I got a referral the very next day to start seeing a Physiologist, and started taking my medication again. I felt positive that I had done this, however, now it has been 13 weeks, and still I have had no appointment arranged. I received a letter confirming my referral 8 weeks ago, but other than that nothing.

It was a very difficult decision for me to reach out for help, but now I wonder if it's even there. I have lost all confidence with getting anywhere, and think this will just remain to be something I get through on my own.

I hope I make sense, Thanks for reading

[Aware]

Well, I made contact with the Health Service provider this morning that my referral was sent to, after receiving a letter yesterday telling me that there will be a change in Service Provider, taking place on the 1st of July.

Basically now I have to wait and see what happens with the new provider, as funding was cut to the old service, and I don't know if mt waiting list time starts all over again or not.

I opened my fault when I knew I really needed to, and that was hard. Now my vault is locked again. Why, because firstly, it was a very hard thing to do once to initiate help, and secondly, I feel like the reality is, that there really isn't help out there.

I had a very rough night, with my mind and emotions running in over-load, and this spilled out over the phone this morning, yes I lose my dignity again! Do I want to continue trying to take this path in search for help, at the moment no.

[blondguy]

Hi Aware

Sorry about the delay in responding to you..normally we are pretty quick...and huge thanks for taking the time to get back to everyone too 🙂

To have a rough night like did can leave us a mess the next day Aware. I understand its difficult to see but you are making progress.....seriously,,

You asked me a question above....I think you meant this......"I was taught to not cause problems, called a liar, and had my character attacked all my life. I'm too sensitive, and need to forget." That reminds me of what I went through too"

It was really hard to cope when being a kid and to be treated the way you have been Aware. I dont think I actually coped very well at all as we had a super controlling dad... I have been dealing with the toxic upbringing now for a long time with my free community mental health care workers and now my GP.

Ive been re-building my self worth/confidence for years now. Its taken a long time but I guess I was determined to heal.

Thanks for caring Aware. Really appreciate it.

I really hope you have been even a bit better than the other night.

Thanks again for being a legend and kind to have posted back to everyone

My Best for you Aware

Paul

[MarkJT]

Hey Aware, just wondering how you are going of late?

Although it is really hard to open the vault and in my early days when i had multiple clinicians to deal with, I had to open it up time and time again to tell them the story and yep, it pissed me off but do you know what, it helped me.

The more you talk about what is tearing you apart, the better off you are. It is perfectly okay to not be okay. There are literally millions of Australians who are not okay at the moment so you are most definately not alone.

You are anonymous in here, none of us know who you are so if you want to post some more about what is going on, then we may be able to point you in the right direction and assist.

Mark

[Aware]

It has been such a long time since I last posted. You feel like you are being all over dramatic, so you just crawl back into your shell. I got some medication and did eventually see a counsellor. I did a lot of talking, and was given very little advice, she actually referred to finding faith in God a bit too much, which made me feel uncomfortable. So, when help finally came, it wasn't good. She told me that I had to find my voice ... but that's hard when people don't want to hear you.

Everything is getting too much, and I am really struggling to find strength now days. I have my coping strategies and know my triggers, but often have little control of what and how I have to deal with.

2016 ... when everything fell apart. I got sick when a root canal went horribly wrong and infection the entire roof of my mouth causing all of my top teeth to fall out. I couldn't handle wearing false teeth as they would make me gag and feel sick, so I looked awful. After 10 years of trying, I lost a position at work that I had been trying so hard for due to staff cuts. My childhood abuser died, not ever being held accountable. I kept going and managed to get a 9 month contract at my workplace, but that ended prematurely and badly when I was treated badly by the person I was working with. It caused my mental breakdown, I couldn't even leave my house, so I had to resign. Not long after that, while already going through a rough time, and my husband feeling that a mental breakdown means you're crazy. My father committed suicide. Then my husband had a workplace accident and shattered his foot. I have been supporting him through it all of this time. My relationship with my mother has completely fallen apart, she has said and done some very hurtful things. All of my friends ?? have ditched me, and the only contact I have with anybody is via social media, nobody asks if I'm ok or I need anything. I'm raising a moody teenage girl which is very demanding. I have gained weight from my medication which is depressing and my husband hates overweight woman. I have had to take on the roll of doing everything because of my husbands injury. I struggle to see a light at the end of my tunnel, but I try VERY hard to keep things together so I don't look like an absolute looser. I just want a break. Now the next brickwall, is that my Mother-in-law has stomach cancer. How on earth am I going to keep going ... is this life of constant crap ever going to end.