I think I have an adult narcissist son

[VioletHey]

We don’t know because he hasn’t been diagnosed. But we’ve recently discovered he abused his younger brother emotionally from about age 10. They moved out together last year (ages 25&21) and it was a disaster. The level of abuse amped up and my younger son came home.  
I really need to talk to people who know narcissism because my elder son is clever and really knows how to manipulate Mr and I don’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not. 
 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

Firstly ... Sorry that it has been a while for you to get a reply.

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you've experienced with your son(s). Finding out there has been a pattern of abusive behavior in someone you love must be incredibly painful. It's understandable you'd want to better understand narcissism to gain insight into his actions and protect yourself and your younger son.

And you recognised that only a professional can diagnose your elder son, there are also some things you could do... Seeking education and connecting with communities that understand narcissistic abuse can provide much-needed support.

Remember to trust your instincts - you know your son best. Set firm boundaries where needed to feel safe. Hopefully and with time and understanding and prioritizing self-care, you can can a way of moving forward.

And if you wanted to talk I'm listening.