I quit therapy temporarily

[Guest_9043]

Today, I just quit therapy temporarily until I can decide what's best for me.
I feel a huge relief at doing so. I'm burnt out and suffering exhaustion. Those are two red flags that things need to change.

This year has been nothing short of absolute HELL from beginning to near the end. January I was getting over a bad break up. February I met my new partner who is now an ex. I was in a same sex Domestic Violence relationship. It was a horrific time for me. I have nowhere near recovered. I escaped on the 29th June this year and went through a further 5 months of legalities (getting a DVO) and way way more than I can mention here. Lost ALL my friends. Family abandoned me again. Got very very suck physically. I'm still not better. All my childhood abuse came up on top of everything I was already dealing with.

I have now lost my entire family as I chose to let them go. So I am enduring major grief and immense pain. Nobody can understand how that feels and how complex it can be when abuse is thrown into the mix.

Other stuff happened as well.

I quit because I couldn't anymore. I was going to sleep for two days after a therapy session just from burn out and exhaustion. I can't even remember my sessions most of the time. I'm too tired to try remember.

It's not a decision that's right for everyone. It's right for me. I need a break. It's coming to the end of year and I'm spending my Christmas alone. It's better off because I know I'm going to get very messy. I'm sick again cause of the toll immense grief and anger is colliding and this year has just ripped me to complete shreds and I have no more fight left in me to deal with anything. I'm just plain tired mentally, emotionally, physically and every which other way one can be tired. I need space as I just feel too pressured, like I'm going to explode. It's just all too much. Sleep is my best friend right now.

Just needed to let this out.

[Guest_9043]

Hi Tim,

I'm actually in a space where I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't know why at all I just don't. I don't care much about that fact either.

There are many reasons I guess. Huge traumatic year from beginning to end. Lots of loss. I just can't be bothered. I especially dislike it when people tell me something is wrong. I'm like well duh. They get more panicked and worried than I am. I'm not stupid. I know if I need hospital, I know things. I'm the one who has been living with it.

I just do what I do Tim.

[smallwolf]

Hi 2quik,

I understand what you mean as the the one who has been living with it. Each of us has our own experiences and triggers that make us feel the way we do. It also sounds like you have had some bad experiences with professional help, and possibly bad responses from other people, such that you think it better to deal with it alone. Like you I am the one living with it, and my experiences will be different to yours. You might not fully grasp my situation, nor I yours, but in the space of this forum we can chat and listen to each other. I hope you will continue to chat here, and your find some comfort from being in this space.

Tim

[blondguy]

Hey Lee

You have a few threads happening at the same time....If you can find your best thread topic you will have a heap more responses as everyone knows exactly where to post to you 🙂

I know you mentioned to Tim (Smallwolf) that you dont feel like talking to anyone and thats fine...no worries!

I forgot to mention that the more frequently we see our doc....GP...Psych...Counsellor....etc the better our recovery will be from being in such a dark place Lee....Depending on our levels of anxiety/depression monthly is good.....fortnightly is great.....and weekly is even better

This is my 23rd year seeing my GP every 4-6 weeks for a 'tune up'

just for your info...Hopefully its somewhat helpful 🙂

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Guest_9043]

Hi Paul,

Yes, I do have a couple of threads going at the moment. Only two or three are active. I've got more than enough on my plate to try manage threads. Beyond blue lets me know stuff. I'm new to navigating.

As for Doctors, I'm seeing one weekly. I had to change doctors as I relocated so I'm still getting used to the new doctor.

The thing is just when I manage to start feeling good, she tears me down again. I avoid her as much as possible.

[blondguy]

Hi 2quik!

navigating the forums can be hard work...especially when we are new and as you mentioned...and having a lot on our plate as well!

It would be very hard work seeing a new doc after relocating 2quik....can I ask how she tears you down? (just asking if thats okay) I have met a couple of doctors years ago that had a zero care factor with my anxiety...I understand where you are coming from 2quik....It can be awful especially when we need some help

I hope you are doing reasonably okay.....and have a good Friday

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Guest_9043]

Hi Paul,

It's ok to ask the question of the constant tearing me down and walking on eggshells. To be honest I can't even speak anymore. There's no other way to say it. I get anxiety just at the thought of telling what she does.

I don't even know what to say anymore. I've given up. I just feel empty. It's no use anyone telling me I need to move out. I know this. It produces anxiety in me because I know I can't just pack up and move right now. It's not like I have any friends rallying around me to give me a hand with anything. I just shrug my shoulders now cause I just don't have any energy to even care.

[blondguy]

Hey 2quik 🙂

Thats fine...Im just sorry that you are having such a rough time with your doc...I remember years ago that I didnt like the 'invasive' questions.....until I understood that they ask them for a reason...my bad

It was just a question....I didnt mean it to cause any bad vibrations...If you want to talk about anything we are here for you 🙂

I hope you are doing reasonably okay 2quik

my kindest

Paul