I have developed feelings for my psychologist

[LilyR]

I started seeing a psychologist for depression and anxiety in March 2016. I had seventeen sessions with him in total and my last session was in November last year. Approximately nine or ten sessions in I realised that I was starting to develop feelings for my psychologist. I realise that it is stupid and ridiculous but nevertheless the feelings are still there even though it has been five months since I saw him. Appearently it happens quite a bit and is called ‘transference’. No matter what I do I cannot seem to get him out of mind and it is affecting my mental health. I honestly wish I had not gone to see him in the first place as it has made everything worse. I am after some advice or suggestions on what I should do. Has this happened to anyone else? I obviously do not want to tell my psychologist about my feelings as that would be extremely embarrassing and awkward but I need to get some help with this. Should I talk to my doctor or another psychologist about it? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated- thank you.

[Tweet-Heart]

Hey Geoff

You never know Kylie is single haha I get what you mean.

I know I can't keep bottling this up. I'll find the right way to tell him at the right time.

[Tweet-Heart]

I want him to care about me in a different way and I desperately crave a father figure. That's why I've gone for older men who are 5-10 years older , he fits into that category.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tweet-Heart,

I can see that.

Personally I feel like all therapists have this kind of allure about them, because in a way they can be a bit of a blank canvas. We don't know much about them in the way that we know about our friends/family and yet somehow we can share with them things that we wouldn't share with the people closest to us.

It sounds like you have a really special connection with your therapist and I can see how much he cares about you by trying to reassure you after your other experiences. But at the same time, he has to be your therapist and nothing else. Just because he's your therapist doesn't mean you can't see him as your father figure or be attracted to him - it just means that there are always those boundaries there.

At the same time though, if he was your boyfriend/partner/father (whatever you wanted him to be), your relationship would be so different. You wouldn't have this safe space to talk about your feelings, and you wouldn't have him all to yourself (you said he has a kid). Your relationship is so sacred just the way it is.

I hope that you choose to tell him how you're feeling anyway, but I don't think it will ever feel like a 'right time'.

[Tweet-Heart]

I am sure he knows the way I praised him yesterday as he was taking time out as his son is starting school. I told him he was Father of the year and I just thought it was adorable and cute what he was doing. I told him that perhaps he could educate my father about being a good father.

[geoff]

Hi Tweet-Heart, I think that's all you need to say, he will pick up the vibes from this.

Geoff.

[Tweet-Heart]

Think you're right he must know by now. I could drop more hints but I won't in fact by our next session I am sure he will bring it up.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tweet-Heart,

That sounds great - hopefully you'll both be able to cover it all in the next session.

It's okay to bring it up directly or to ask that 'what if' question too. He might be picking up on hints but not always respond to it, allowing you to talk to him when you're ready. Either way - I hope that you can bring it up.

[Tweet-Heart]

I got accepted into Julliard's drama and dance school when I was 16. I'll be able to cover it up so he won't figure it out. I'll put on the biggest Oscar winning performance. He won't have a clue.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tweet-Heart,

Sorry I just wanted to clarify - why do you need to cover it up?

[Tweet-Heart]

Because I don't want him to know I think he suspects. He would have mentioned it by now. So I will just lie low and pray to God he doesn't find out. I can't let him find out.