Hi Ajt79
I find, typically, there's not a lot of focus on us being emotional creatures until our emotions take an unusual turn. Then it can become a matter of 'Hang on a second, where have my emotions gone?' or 'Why am I suddenly feeling all the 'negative' ones and nothing else?'
Personally, I'm the sort of gal who relies heavily on her emotions as a kind of compass, in the way of navigating life and if they're not obviously present at times, I have to know why. For me, if I'm not feeling anything, it's usually because I'm either mentally exhausted or physically exhausted. With emotion said to be a form of energy in motion, basically we can't feel energy if it's not there. In this case, it's so important to rest and restore (good food, good hydration etc etc). Having also experienced some years in depression earlier in my life, having come to understand chemistry (aka another form of energy) as a factor in emotion can also help explain the numbness that can come about in life, under certain circumstances. The saying 'Those 2 have such great chemistry together' takes on a whole new meaning.
Regarding your husband, you mention you don't know whether you're still in love with him or whether you're losing interest. I can really relate to this, as I addressed this myself at one point in my marriage. I came to realise how few interests we shared, how little effort he made to engage me, how lacking the marriage was when it comes to adventure (adding ventures) and how few short and long term goals there were to aim for, together. When I presented my revelation to him, his response surprised me. It was something like 'There's nothing wrong with that'. What the...? He suggested the marriage doesn't need to be exciting. Aha, that's why I couldn't feel the excitement. It was never really there, to feel. Things have changed a little since my revelation, since I decided to demand a difference in our relationship or we call it a day. Still a long way to go.
Can't help but wonder whether you're feeling a lack of excitement, a lack of joy, a lack of stimulation etc. Strange to think we can actually feel a lack of something. It's typically not a nice feeling/emotion.
I've found the body is a highly efficient thing in the way that it naturally vents in a variety of ways, in order to stay free from dis-ease (unease). We can sigh, cough, cry, scream, yawn, poop, pee and the list goes on. Do you think, through the tears, you could be venting disappointment or tension?
🙂
