how to talk

[angeplussix]

I can write away and tell you all my darkest secrets that not many people know (1person)  but I am at the point in my life at this crisis where in order to get better I must talk. But when the psychologists come around or I go see them I laugh and make my problems seem comical and menial. But really all I want to do is start from the beginning but that is not the here and now so that is not what is asked of you . Your asked what brought you here today and it maybe an arguement that made you feel worthless( cause thats what the other person called you and you believe them even though they are an arse) or an array of built up emotions . But honestly I am here because I had a childhood that was yuk. I feel very at ease on here . I feel I can detach myself from my life and talk/write in a clinical manner about my childhood but to do it in person is an impossible task but I am yearning to do. How do you start such a talk 

[jess334]

I'm not sure angeplussix,

Maybe you could write a letter and take it in with you to your psychologist? That way they get all the information, and they can start the discussion for you? 

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear angeplussix,

It's all related.  The fact that you turned up after making the appointment is the biggest plus.  If you can write/talk about not being able to talk then you can probably write/talk about your childhood.   Depends on the relationship you have with yourself and your counsellor.

I have to create music every day and it's the same problem.   An idea will come but then another one will be more important, then they'll be a knock on the door and someone will ask if I've seen a lost dog, the garbo will come down the street and I'll rush out with my bin that I've forgotten (because of tune) or my wife might ring to see if we need milk.   It's all part of the day and part of the composition.   Lots of talking revolves around one thing like anxiety so the "arguement that made you feel worthless" is mixed in with the guy at the newsagent that commented on recent the Election Result.

Maybe you a a "right brain person" who loves chaos and creativity and doing things on the spur of the moment.   Or you could be a "left brain person" who over organises, files and does everything in the right order.  But, really, the connection you can establish is far more important than anything.  And so what if you are "comical and menial".    Difficult childhoods carry the weight of the world so a bit of light heartedness might be the key to forming a good relationship with your psychologist.

Deep psychology might say you are being judgemental about your lack of disclosure becuase you fear a similar judgement from the psychologist when you lay yourself bare.      The interpretations are endless but you have the choice how to relate to people.

For me the problem was the opposite - how to end the conversation.  We'd be saying Goodbye at the door for 10 mins as I remembered another thing.  But, there's always next week.     As I wrote to Shock on his Tales of Horrible Hospital Admissions thread that I note you responded on it's gotta be better to just be yourself rather than worry about the angle of delivery.     You could even take your own advice and "Go  Easy".    It's all good because you're doing something to help yourself and those closest to you.  We should stumble and fumble with life.  We're not machines.  Your insight is great so fire away !  Hope this helps and I have replied to your response if you have time to check it out.

The mind is so amazing - we can flow or be stubborn.   And if the ideas and phrases can't be found in the maze of communication then just talk about the weather or a relative in general.    Or this responder on BB who copes with flux.

Adios, David.

PS  Chocolate slice or croissants is a good start.  Does your psychologist eat ?

[giggles]

Hi Dave/Angelplusix

Can I call you Dave? 

I couldn't have worded that better myself in reference to making music.I use to be like that with art the ideas slipping away from distractions but much more chilled about it these days and prefer to write I believe its energy change well for me and many others I have spoken to in the artistic field.I like different fields all the time that is why galleries are so beneficial to me it helps the creative in me.

When an artist gives themselves a hard time for not creating it actually blocks it even more I reckon without them being conscious of it off course.

My experience is always from just being and stuff piles out......and I amaze myself and usually always use it somewhere but do not know where it will be placed. Love it............

Angel hopefully you have read my last post as it fits with this one and may connect for your next step in seeking help.

What Dave or David has said I believe is true in regard to the "Comical and menail" because you are still fragile you are unconsciously still working on the reaction to what you are saying and dismissing it too quickly with your perceived judgement of possibly someone else has told you about yourself I off course can not know who or what so that is always in your hands to resolve because of course you hold the answer to any question you put we can only assume on what we read.

We will have to ask Dave whether I am the deeper thinker or just thinking............Either way it is all about you coming to a point of surviving with a better place than you are today.Your reaching out is the start so good one but keep going regardless of how you feel so you may remember when you read,hear or speak to  others going through the same thing.

It helps to think of things in stages like the children needing the time for their ages to bring them to new things we do not expect a baby to get up and feed themselves do we?  We are the same the stages never stop. How can they, we are growing all the time which of course is new agey but that's what it all means our bodies have finished growing but our spirit still needs food.I am speaking from personal experience so if anyone is going to dump on this then my challenge is always where are they coming from to deny that we are a spirit first everything else is place in front of us after all and certainly not by choice that's for sure.

I hope this helps and well done for the beginning of your recovery.

Because I come from a large family I know that my mother was excellent at organizing the house hold and she loved children I am assuming you are the same?

All the best

giggles

[lostinside]

oh my dear, I soooo know this feeling. It's taken me over 5 years to be able to utter a simply sentence to my specialist. I am very blessed that I have someone who I know will listen and wait and wait for me to talk without being frustrated with me. I learnt to write, and though at times I felt that the content of what I wrote was here there and everywhere, it was a start! I  was so conditioned to keep secrets and the fear that l would be judged seemed so insurmountable - I  just could not talk! On lots of days, just getting to my appointment was the goal. I am getting there, but I have come to the realization that some words, about events in our lives, may never be uttered! Ask if you can write to you doctor and post the letters. or, maybe, write a list of things that you would like to talk about at your appointments. Good luck. Don't give up. A lost friend of mine, years ago told me to stick with my specialist, no matter what - this friend is no longer in this world, but I will never forget her wise words. I will struggle, most of the times, but my words are getting out of my mouth! My secrets are starting to have some light shine into them - when something is brought out into the light - I believe - secrets loose their power.

anyways, just a few rambling thoughts. take care

[lethal55]

hi angeplussix

many people find it hard talking to people about anythink

i find most theripists do not listen or hear the opposite to what you say

and some pass the info to others 

with over 40 years of treatment i still have trouble talking to people

but found thy neaver belive the truth anyway

writing it down is a great idear but most theripst just bin them

i never hand my thorts on paper over till i know if thy will read or bin it

hope you have better luck than me finding the right people to help

when your ready to tell your story hope thy hear you

lethal