How to start the conversation with a GP

[Lihv]

Hi, 

I'm kind of new here, well not that new its just the first time i have posted anything. I was wondering how your first conversation with your GP started relating to depression etc.? 

I am horribly shy at the best of times and struggle to talk to people I don't know let alone ask for help with anything. My line manager at work has been pushing for me to see someone for ages as I am as she puts it "30 seconds from tears" all the time. I'm not a huge fan of doctors because every time I have been sick with the flu etc. I've been pretty much been told to suck it up even though I work in an environment handling food. So the thought of going and asking for help because I am so unhappy is terrifying. I cant help but feel they will just tell me to suck it up again. I have looked on this site for a GP that is in my area but there is none. 

If anyone could give me some ideas as to how to start the conversation with a GP it would be great.

Sorry for rambling.

Lihv 

[Vera55]

Hello Lihv.

yes feeling fragile and on point of tears would make anyone stand back from interacting. A few weeks ago I was in the library and the staff member said I had a book overdue and I said I returned them all and she said I didn't. So I went to the shelf and there it was, the book I returned and when I showed it to her I burst into tears in the middle of the library, bawling my eyes and saying you can't do this to people, claim we didn't return things when we did and more tears .... I was mortified. 

I am older now so I didn't care but if that happened to me when younger I would have been scarred for life. It's a small community here where I live. 

Mental turmoil can color everything you think and do. To explore a bit more what sort of things are you struggling with besides chronic shyness?  Having a bit more of an idea might help us define what you want when seeing a gp.

kind regards Vera 

[Neil_1]

Hi Lihv (cute pic that you've got happening there by the way)  🙂

Also I'd like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and for being able to provide us with your post - as I guess you'd have already thought that it can sometime take a bit of an effort to come on and post - so I'm very glad that you did.

Are you perhaps like Vera, in that you live in a small town or community?  In that, you've already done a search on Beyond Blue for GP's and weren't able to locate one in your area?   Would that also mean that of the professional doctors in your area, there wouldn't be a great many of them available?  Are there other doctors available in your area "apart" from the one that you've seen on other occasions when you've felt unwell.  To me that doctor would be worth steering clear of.

Now I could be wrong with this, but I would assume that just about ALL doctors should have available to them a "Mental Health Plan" that they use for people who come in with symptoms of mental illness/depression, etc.  When I've had to have my Mental Health Plan done, it's actually first announced when I make my appointment - and this is all my own experience - others may have had this done different ways.

I phone up and say to the receptionist, that I'd like to see my Dr and find a suitable time, but at the same time, I say that the purpose of this appointment is for me to get a Mental Health Plan done.  The receptionist then apparently books my session for 'two appointments' if that makes sense.  As in, if a usual appointment is say for 15 minutes, this then will lock me in for 30 minutes as they take a little while to complete.

And basically it is a series of about 10 questions, which you answer - answers are along the lines of:   Always, fairly often, often, hardly ever and never - or a variation of that.  Just to give you an indication of what it's about.

I also think the test is called "K-10", but I could be wrong again with that - but if you look up K10 on your websearch this might give you a heads up for what it's like.

So yeah, I'd be letting the receptionist know, who will then inform the doc, and then you've then got the hard part over - ie:  finding a way to announcing how you're feeling.  They will ask you some questions, but these should be able to be answered by you, with just how you feel at the time or have been feeling of late.

I hope that has helped in some way and I sure hope I haven't confused you.

Kind regards

Neil

[Neil_1]

Oh oh, I just had another lightbulb come on above me!!  🙂

That's brilliant that your 'line manager' is there and looking out for you and they're semi pushing you to seek out help.  Perhaps 'they' might be able to suggest a different GP for you - someone who they feel confident that you'll be treated as you should be treated - totally professional and with care and support.

[MaryG]

Hi Lihv and welcome,

That conversation is so very hard to start isn't it? I chickened out many times and made up some other reason for going. In the end my husband came with me and he did most of the talking and I did most of the crying. 

I could never say to a receptionist that I needed an appointment to have a mental health plan done, so I would suggest maybe just asking for a long appointment. You shouldn't need to explain why.

You mention your work friend. Would she be able to go with you and help start the conversation? It is so important to get help if you need it Lihv and the longer you put it off the longer it will take to start recovering.

In the meantime keep in touch with us here and try explaining and posting what you are going through and that might help get your thoughts in order if you do make it to the GP.

Take care Lihv. Mary

[White_Rose]

Dear Lihv

I am so pleased you have written in here.  I imagine it is almost as hard for you as talking to someone. I have just one suggestion for you when talking to a GP. (And I do endorse MaryG's suggestion of booking a long or double appointment.)  Try writing down all the things you want to say or how you feel. 

That way you have control over the content and can rewrite bits until you feel comfortable.  When you give this material to the GP he/she will have something to work from and can ask you questions rather than you trying to find the words.  It will not necessarily be an easy process but a whole lot easier than trying to start from scratch.  And if the GP is worth their salt then they can take it from there.  After all you will have given them the first essential piece of information that you find it difficult to talk about yourself because you needed to write it down.

I have found it so much easier to write down what I want to say in advance.  It starts the conversation and gives you breathing space.

I hope all goes well.

White Rose

[Tanzi]

Hi there,

I agree with everyone.

Find a doctor you are comfortable with, it is your choice who you see, maybe you would be comfortable talking to a lady doctor.

Writing stuff down will help the doc and it may help you understand why things are happening when you read back over them. Just buy a blank book and write down all your feelings.

Tell the receptionist on the phone you want to book in for a mental health plan and no-one else but you and the doc need know. You would be surpirised at the amount of people who do this. From your answers the doc will work out what they think is best for you and can maybe start you off with some guidance and refer you to a psychologist who understands your condition. They will give you skills to deal with your shyness or may even help you realize why you are shy.

It's all ahead of you and you will feel much better for it. Just imagine smiling at your boss not blushing and saying how was your weekend!

 Good luck, I and everyone would love to hear how you go 🙂