How to make oneself go see a psychologist?

Mil · ‎29-05-2018

Hi all,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I suppose I'll get re-oriented if there's a better section of the forum for this.
I'm a 28-year-old woman with a bit of anxiety. I'm seeking to get this treated as it's lately been more crippling than before (I have anti-productive anxiety that makes me procrastinate) and I feel like it's starting to affect my sense of self (I feel like I've become an over-worrying, nagging, whining person when I used to take most things with good humour). My issue is, I've never been to a psych and I'm not really good at discussing private/intimate matters such as these so it's quite terrifying and easy to find excuses to not actually do it (I don't have time/money for this - which is true in a sense, but I'm the person deciding how I allocate my money and time so... blah). Instead I'm stuck into this phase of just thinking/talking about going to see someone. Plus I don't currently have Medicare. I recently learnt I might be able to get it, but instead of investigating this further I'm writing this. Or, as soon as I have better days, I tell myself I don't really need this, that I'm just being over-dramatic or too lazy to tackle my own issues myself, that it's not that bad etc. And it IS not that bad, I'm still functioning, just not very well sometimes and self-loathing is starting to kick in. I don't know. It sounds like a very "privileged problem" compared to some people who are in much deeper discomfort. But at the same time, I don't want to slide further down so addressing this now is probably wise.
Anyone else going/gone through this? I know there's no miracle trick and I just need to do it. But it'd be nice to hear from people who have been there.

I also have an unrelated (I think?) issue that I don't know what to do with but it might be best to discuss it in another post. When I'm ready. Have I mentioned I'm a professional procrastinator? Ergh!

Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for this awesome website.

Mil

PS: Sorry if my English sounds a bit weird at times, I'm not a native speaker.

PamelaR · ‎29-05-2018

Hello Mil

Thank you for sharing your very articulate post. It didn't sound weird at all, I'm just so pleased you've found your way here. Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. People here are caring, friendly and supportive. I'm not a health professional though I am able to share my experiences and knowledge of PTSD, anxiety and depression.

I think your post could do very well in either the anxiety forum or the multicultural experiences forum. You'll find I ask many questions. There is no pressure for you to respond if you don't want to.

You are not alone with your anxiety as there are many people who have it. The things you talk about - procrastination, over-worrying, low self-esteem, low self worth are what most of us with anxiety experience at times. Anxiety can be debilitating and is in no way a 'privileged problem'. It is very real and can have some ongoing major consequences.

I can only imagine that as English is not your 1st language that getting a Medicare card, going to the doctors and a psychologist etc will be difficult. Do you have anyone who can be your advocate or can help you go through the process? For example a family member or close trusted friend? There is always an interpretation service available.Alternatively, there are often doctors and psychology centres that have people who's 1st language is not English. It's trying to find the best service available.

I can see you think that you're not wanting to do anything is procrastination. From my perspective it is and it isn't. Your sense of self worth and self esteem will impact on you being able to move forward to do something. Maybe if you examine where your low self worth and self esteem come from may begin to help. For example, does it have anything to do with where you are from? That you don't think you speak well or that you don't write well? I think you write very well. One of the things the psychologist / therapist helps you with is to work on these aspects of self. I have done this recently and my procrastination has moved and I'm now being productive. But for 6 months all I could do was sit and watch the grass and weeds grow.

Maybe have a look at the threads under the Multicultural Experience forum to see if there is anything you can relate to. Have a think about posting something in there. Let the people know though you started out in the Welcome and Introduction section. It just helps us with how we respond.

Look forward to hearing more from you Mil. Only if you want to though.

Pam

Mil · ‎30-05-2018

Hi Pam,

Thanks a lot for your lovely answer and for complimenting my English. I'm a translator, so I know it's "good" for a French person but my profession (and passion) means I also look at all the little nuances that only a native speaker could get right - that's just my language nerd side 🙂

I do however in general tend to focus on what I don't do well and overlook what I do well, which is probably linked to this whole low self esteem/worth issue. I also have a few ideas of where this problem might come from (loving but very academically/intellectually demanding mother, importance of critical analysis in French school/job culture etc.) but unfortunately it doesn't help me get past it. Which I guess is where a psychologist/therapist would help. But darn it seems I just can't make that appointment.

I am very lucky to have a very supportive, awesome partner who is Australian so she can help me with all the processes. I just don't want to "burden" her too much because she has a lot on her plate as well at the moment (she has OCD and associated symptoms which she is already addressing and doing a great job at managing, but we also both have professional and common/personal projects). We're currently in a pretty busy phase with lots going on and my procrastination kind of resurfaced right when it shouldn't have, of course. Which makes it look like I'm sabotaging (which makes me feel guilty on top of it all) but the thing is I actually am REALLY excited about all these things! I'm just feeling overwhelmed with all the steps to take to get them done... So my brain tells me "you don't need to add psych sessions on top of your already super full life right now". Plus I know from my girlfriend that addressing mental health issues can actually make you feel "worse" for a little while before it starts getting better so I'm afraid I won't be able to cope at all and spoil the good things/worry my girlfriend/forget to do important things etc.

Does that help understanding where I'm coming from? It feels bit weird writing all these personal things on a forum, but also kind of good to get it off my chest I guess. I've already had a look at the multicultural experiences threads and will continue looking through it - lots of helpful stuff 🙂

Cheers,
Mil

Mil · ‎30-05-2018

Oh, also: I didn't mean that I think anxiety is a "privileged problem" - I was just questioning whether my own "level" of anxiety/issues really justifies going to a psych when I know there are a lot of people who have it much worse than I do.

smallwolf · ‎30-05-2018

You could easily go to Google to find out about levels of anxiety, but I would rather leave that in the hands of the professionals. When I went to the psych for the first time I knew something was wrong but didn't think it was that bad. But I was said to have severe anxiety. So we don't really know until...

I have been on medical leave for a while. And recently my psychiatrist was talking about a gradual return to work, starting with half a day a week. Today was the day that I decided to do the half day. During and after I know my anxiety increased to a moderate level and bordering on severe. And I was in a safe place when I was doing this. Two hours later and nearly calmed down.

Dealing with anxiety (for me) is via distraction and coping tools. My psych uses a combination of CBT and mindfulness. You should be able to find threads here for each of these topics. My psych also recommended I read a book called the happiness trap. You could check out that? It also has strategies for coping.

If you have any questions please let me know and I'll do my best to answer them.

Mil · ‎30-05-2018

Thanks a lot smallwolf. Yeah I guess I just have take that step and let a professional be the judge. I feel like these people who are scared to go see the doctor and wait until they're in horrible pain. I have these paradoxical fears: that either this is not "serious" enough to get it treated OR other end of the spectrum, that I'm actually way more troubled than I think and that we'll have to dig into all my psyche and that it'll be horrible. Is this normal?

smallwolf · ‎30-05-2018

the way I see it is like this...

over time, every time we are hit (emotionally) we sink is little lower and things get a little more stressful. And we recover. Or do we? After recovery we might not be the same as before the stressful event. Just a little lower, maybe? It is a bit like recharging a battery. You never fully recharge it, even though it might say it is full.But this becomes your new normal. You accept it. And then you take another hit and the cycle repeats. Eventually you might hit empty. After a while, all the hits take their toll, and then you reach out for help. It is better to reach out for help earlier rather than later. But that is just my opinion. I had to hit empty before I went to the GP. Because every time before that I thought I was normal. But there was one event that was like the "straw that broke the camels back", and I knew I could not cope any longer. When the reality indicated otherwise and I went to my GP.

Tim

Mil · ‎30-05-2018

That's a great way to put it. I hadn't looked at it like that. I keep comparing myself to how I was "before" and feeling bad/sad because I feel like I'm much more easily stressed out/worried/negative than I used to be. But that would make sense if I see the past few years through your prism. Thanks a lot, Tim.

Doolhof · ‎30-05-2018

Hi Mil,

Welcome to the community here on the forum. Have you come any closer to booking a psych appointment yet? I too do procrastination well sometimes. I suffer from depression, anxiety, stress, and a few other labels relating to mental health.

The thing is, I am still me inside and despite all of this. Each day I can choose to a certain degree how I want my day to go.

If you have a lot on your mind and you don't know what to do first, make a list. Circle the job you need to do and work out how you are going to achieve it. Forget the other 101 issues for now and just concentrate on the one in front of you.

My current psychologist is trying to help me to understand that a day of depression is normal for me and not to fight it. When I try to fight it, I become more despondent and don't achieve much at all.

When I accept I am having an emotionally troublesome day, strange enough, it doesn't feel so bad in the end.

Living up to other people's expectations, like parent's may be impossible. We are not our parents we are ourselves.

Communicate openly with your girlfriend and let her know how you are feeling. People can jump to conclusions and imagine all kinds of things.

I tell my husband when I am struggling, that way he knows it is not about him, it is about my illness.

Hope some of this helps!

Cheers from Dools

Mil · ‎30-05-2018

Thank you Dools.
I will try to do the list thing, accept what's going on and will definitely let you know when I've made the appointment.
I do share with my girlfriend and she knows I'm struggling with my anxiety at the moment. She's the one who told me about this website and she is also encouraging me to go see a professional. She's been great 🙂 I just don't want to pour all my worries onto her, if that makes sense.

Anyway. First, get on Medicare. Then, make appointment.

Thanks everyone for the support and sharing!