Help with getting help

[bubblestar]

Hi, 10 months ago my mother fell very ill and almost passed away. Since then I have been distraught. I have flashbacks and when she's feeling unwell I completely freak out and have visions of going back to the hospital etc, I have panic attacks so bad I can't breathe (previously diagnosed with anxiety and depression) as well as a whole other bunch of things. I've looked up numerous websites with symptoms for PTSD and I have close to almost all the symptoms. I see a psychologist, and am also seeing my doctor next week. I want to ask him if I do have PTSD but I don't know how to go about it. Do you ask a doctor if you have it? Is there a way to ask?

I would really appreciate some words to help me in seeking help from my doctor but I just don't know how to go about it. Thank you ❤️

[Starwolf]

Hi Bubblestar, welcome to the forums.

Witnessing a loved one become seriously ill is distressing. It may trigger bouts of anxiety and generally affect our mental balance. I hope your mother's health has now stabilised.

The only way to know exactly what it is you are up against is to ask a professional. Please do not hesitate to do so. Diagnosing potential trouble is part of their job. It is always best done before an issue takes hold. Sooner than later is the way to go. Doctors deal with diagnosis and treatment on a daily basis. They've heard it all before and some more, so judgment doesn't come into it. Mental problems are just another area of medicine. The stigma attached to them is due to ignorance among the general public. GPs know better.

The best way to ask is to go ahead and do it. If you find face to face communication too daunting, putting your concerns in writing and handing this over at the reception desk would be easier for you. This would be given to the doctor before you enter the consultation room. A good GP will make you feel at ease instantly. It will be equally important to let your therapist know when you go for your next appointment. With the right help and support, the situation can be managed.

Please be wary of looking for answers on the internet. Personal professional advice is always more accurate. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will find an Anxiety checklist in the "Facts" section, as well as additional info. But please give yourself the care you deserve by getting a proper diagnosis ASAP. A courageous and wise first step towards regaining peace of mind.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Bubblestar, it doesn’t matter if you call what you are having PTSD or anxiety or just “ not coping” .. you are upset and distressed and I think it is great that you are seeking to work out what is going on.

There are a few possibilities as to what is happening and without details it is so hard to sure, but talking to someone who knows your family situation like your GP is a good start. It could be that your anxiety is simply using your understandable fears about loss of your mother to create a whole lot of “ catastrophising” and “what if’s” .

Anxiety is like that . It loves to take a situation and ramp it up from one that needs thought, planning or management into one that feels out of control and overwhelming and then anxiety whispers in your ear that you don’t have the skills / tools / ability to cope. Anxiety can be mean!

It may be that you have trauma from your mothers recent illness. Was there something you witnessed that provoked a feeling of helplessness or regret or even anger ? The visions of going back to the hospital.. I wonder what your anxiety is telling you?

I think that telling your doctor and / or counsellor what your thoughts / feelings worries are is the way to go . Let them be concerned about the diagnosis and how to move forward with helping you.

[bubblestar]

Thank you Starwolf, your words have most definitely calmed me and have helped give me that extra boost to go forward with speaking to my doctor. I'm very grateful, thank you!

[bubblestar]

Hi Dr Kim, thanks so much for getting back to me I really appreciate it.

I experience all different kinds of emotions. I have strong guilt because I was out the night she got ill, came home to her on the floor passed out so I blame myself for not being there. Now, I get very easily irritated when she's unwell but says she's fine because my anxiety is telling me otherwise. I witnessed hearing her say to the doctors she's dying, witnessed her in a coma for 3 days. It was all very distressing as you can imagine, but my anxiety tells me, even though she's clear of the disease she had, that she will get it again and bad things will happen.

I'm trying not to get too caught up in an actual diagnosis because I know that's not healthy either. But I'm very glad I came to this forum, I feel much more at ease knowing it's okay to speak up rather than before when I felt I was just being too overdramatic.

Thank you very much