Got a question related to mental health? ASK DR KIM

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim, who pops into the forums regularly.

PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Dr Kim won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional.

UPDATE - 01/03/2018
BEFORE YOU ASK DR.KIM PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

• Dr Kim's time is limited! We cannot provide an ongoing dialogue with Dr Kim in this thread - one post/question per person please
•  We'd recommend you have a look through the forums before posting here to see if your question has already been answered by Dr Kim, our other members, or if there's information about it already on the beyondblue website. If a question pops up that has already been answered previously, or if alternate resources are available, one of our moderators will reply and direct you to the link.
• When writing your question, imagine you are speaking to someone in person i.e. provide a clear and detailed post with enough information that outlines how Dr.Kim can help you.

Background

After 20 years of experience working as a GP, Dr Kim realised in 2003 the aspect of her work she enjoyed most was talking to people and understanding the way they think and behave – and so she underwent training in counselling and therapy, where she now solely works.

Her experience includes working with a wide range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and adolescent mental health.

“Given my training I also see couples, siblings, parents with their children and entire family groups,” she says. “In this work I hope to give families the skills to understand one another and have the strategies to communicate and manage relationships that are distressing them. I believe strongly that best therapy is achieved when there is trust in the therapist's ability but also their genuine desire to understand and help.”

[Spannergirl]

Hi,I'm not feeling on top of things atm and my partner/carer is away.

I haven't had a serious episode since 2015 but have found myself in a spot and dire need of support.

I have expressed to my partner I'm not coping.

Is it wrong of me to ask my partner to come home to help me find support?

Hes been gone for 11 days. He seems cranky with me and I'm feeling guilty.

Thank you and look forward to easing my mixed up mind.

[demonblaster]

Hi Dr Kim

I'm working towards getting full control over Bipolar 2 and slowly making headway. I'm hearing it won't go and symptoms will still surface. I've had success pulling down mania from type 1 to 2 unless other reasons caused the improves.

I don't want ☺ to lose the mania but still have a lot of work to do there for controlling the super pump with the excitement that in this episode a couple of times went into overdrive, the physical sensation in the chest.

My question is when I get full control will I still have the happies with mania as well. I'm managing most symptoms ok in mania but it's pretty much as hard work to contain as the depression is too handle

Thanks ☺

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Spannergirl,
Firstly its great that you are self aware enough that you can acknowledge that you are not in a good place and need support. Thats the first and second steps already taken so you should be congratulated on that.
I think the gist of your issue is that you don't feel that you have enough methods of looking after yourself. You seem to only really have your partner and this is causing you both stress.
So I think you are on the right track in “spreading”the load. I think YOU will feel a whole lot better when you have a number of support systems , not just him.
So maybe try finding the support you need by
1. going to your GP and telling them what the things you have been struggling with are
2. going back to or finding a new counsellor / psychologist / psychiatrist so that you have someone to guide you through these rough spots .
3. Getting involved with a support group in the community . Maybe something directly about your issue or even something indirect , like a community group that does things like community planting or meals or craft . Studies show that we feel better when we dont feel alone.
4. Calling a help line like Beyond blue for suggestions on 1300 22 4636
5 Using an app like askizzy.org.au which gives all sorts of suggestions in different areas

I hope this helps you feel more empowered and gets you the help you need without feeling like you are leaning too hard on your partner.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi DB
I hope that I will answer your question OK .

Your question is either
1. If you control Bipolar , are both the depression AND the manias dampened down equally?
or
2. If you control the mania , can you just control it down a bit so you are happy but not manic?

I am not an expert in Bipolar as I’m a GP , not a Psychiatrist so i cant say for sure and of course every case is different but i think in general , when Bipolar is treated the highs and the lows are BOTH dampened and that is often quite hard for people to accept as many people really like their highs , but hate the lows. You say that you “dont want to loose the mania “ and I think this is a common feeling.

I might add that even though the high can be a really great time for the person having it , it isn't always so great for everyone around that person, and of course people can get themselves into all sorts of bother during highs. So there are good reasons to dampen mania even if the person experiencing it is really “enjoying” it.

With respect to how to stay “happy” but not manic, that is a good question for your psychiatrist and /or GP. I agree that it would be ideal if you could be happy but not manic or depressed. Somewhere in the middle would be ideal! Getting the medication, lifestyle and therapy etc all working to hit that spot is absolutely the aim of all your health professionals but is not as simple as it sounds. I would keep working with them to try to get to that place as best you can but know that it is indeed hard.

[Anon0000]

Dear Dr. Kim

I will try to make this clear and quick, for starters, I'm a 15yr old male and go to an all boys college. I'm not sure what it should be called or diagnosed but I believe it may be anxiety. I don't smoke, Drink or use any drugs. Anyway...

I have a bunch of problems and I feel they are effecting my mental health, for starters every week when I go out to party's, or events with people I know I go home later and vomit up, even when I haven't eaten much all day I go and vomit, it has been ongoing for 5 weeks and it happens every weekend when I go out.

Sleep has also been an issue lately when I have been going to bed around 10:30pm and not being able to actually get to sleep until around 1:30pm.

I also attend school with lots of friends, I often get the feeling they are the only ones who like me. I get the feeling people don't like me, I know my friends do but others look at me like I've done something wrong when I have literally done nothing wrong, I try to socialise with them and make friends with them but it just seems they don't want anything to do with me. People have said and things and opinions mean so much to me and can hurt me a lot. Even when they may not be nice.

I also have troubles feeling emotions at times, like I'm dead inside, I have a small crush on a girl but I am unsure weather to ask her out because people at my school will find out and bother me cause they refer to her badly when they don't know the truth. Sometimes with my emotions I smile but deep down I'm not really happy.

My parents are in a relationship where they always argue and my father is a scammer who has scammed his own family for $1000 dollars when we lost a loved one. I want them to get a divorce and my dad to move out cause I absolutely hate his guts.

i am also the captain of my football team and feel the pressure of the team and everyone looks up to me. Whenever I feel I haven't played my best I often feel bad for a couple days thinking I had let the team down and those who looked up to me now don't.

I have been piled up with schoolwork lately and that's becoming a struggle. I'm not sure what to do and was just seeking out what it could be, stress? Anxiety? I'm so unsure and I get the feeling no one likes me when I'm sure they do. My parents always argue and it's always my alcoholic dads fault. I was just seeking out advice and wondering what it could be, what I could do or weather I'm just overreacting. Thanks.

[demonblaster]

Thank you ☺

[MissPineapples]

Hi Dr Kim I've been suggested antidepressants by a Dr but I refused to take them as I don't feel they'd help my depression, because I fear it changing who I am and I'm not depressed all the time so I was wondering would taking antidepressants help?

[Squinton]

Hello,

I have been suffering depression all my life, although when i was young it was very infrequent bouts of despair and misery, but besides that my childhood was happy, healthy and well nurtured, i did move around a lot (born in India, grew up in Thailand, uni in Sydney).

Now after being in constant and permanent depression for 7 years, i have seen many therapists, psychiatrists, medications (over 10 different types) and things are just getting worse. I am unable to gain pleasure from anything, nothing motivates me or causes desire of any kind. I feel nothing except negative. A friend from uni is now a psychiatrist in training (already an MD), and he keeps suggesting cbt, cbt, cbt. I studied biology, so i am use to reading journals and understanding these kinds of things, but no matter how many i do i don't seem to get it, i can't seem to get my therapists to provide it, they say 'you don't need it', or from what i told my Dr. friend tells me, i'm missing the point and so apparently are my therapists. I normally would defer to their experience over his, but they aren't helping me and I just want to try anything for this to improve, even 1% for 1 second, is all i would need to have some hope. Again though my friend says hope isn't going to solve anything and i need to 'work' at it, and that is why i am here, i need someone to point me to a useful, certified cbt guide that will enable me to help myself.

Thank you.

[Unsurity]

Hi Dr Kim,

I'll try to make this easy to understand but I'm not entirely sure about it either so just bare with me please.

So I definitely have some kind of issue, but I don't know what the problem is and so it's hard for me to explain to others why I act the way I do. Most people assume I'm just a hormonal teenager considering I'm a 16 yr-old girl but I know that although it is effected by that it's not the soul problem as I've been having this issue since years before puberty and its only gotten worse over time.

I go in and out of these periods of happiness and emptiness and sometimes they sync up with my period cycle and sometimes/most of the times its just willy nilly. They don't really have a fixed length or severity it's different every time and I can't really recall what I felt in one state when I'm in the other. Like when I feel empty and horrible I can't remember ever feeling okay or can't recall if I was just pretending and ignoring the emptiness (keep saying emptiness because I don't feel sad or angry it's just usually a general upset feeling that I can't pin down) when I was in the happy. But in the happy i know that it was real but I can't tap into it to try and understand it so it ends up being this frustrating embarrassing ordeal.

I think it could be something like minor depression but isn't depression supposed to be constant but it's not severer enough to call it bipolar or anything. I can't go to my headspace because they're really anti labels and I get that but right now everyone around me needs a word to use to give it some substance (plus if I knew what it was I could start helping myself a little better).

I know this isn't a get diagnosed type of thing at all but I'm looking for advise on who I should approach from here or what I should do

Thanks heaps!

[Holl210]

I’m not sure if my question anyone can answer? But I do not know how to find the answer myself.

i have sufferd anxiety and depression since I was 16yro. I am now 27. And have attempted suicide a couple times over the years. Ive learned my patterns, when I think I’m getting better or may be on the path to being worse.

i have had a couple of traumatic events in my life that more so evolve around the death of loved ones who I never got the chance to know in my life.

ive watched several family members and friends pass away and take their final breaths.

for some reason, as morbid as some tragic events are, I seem to sit and take in the company of misery. Rather than saying bye to bad situations. And moving on

i dont feel like it’s a normal thing.

what am I doing?

Is it a common interest? am I feeding of other peoples misery to ignore my own. Am I trying to prove to myself I am strong?

can you please help me figure out this weird emotion