Got a question related to mental health? ASK DR KIM

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim, who pops into the forums regularly.

PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Dr Kim won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional.

UPDATE - 01/03/2018
BEFORE YOU ASK DR.KIM PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

• Dr Kim's time is limited! We cannot provide an ongoing dialogue with Dr Kim in this thread - one post/question per person please
•  We'd recommend you have a look through the forums before posting here to see if your question has already been answered by Dr Kim, our other members, or if there's information about it already on the beyondblue website. If a question pops up that has already been answered previously, or if alternate resources are available, one of our moderators will reply and direct you to the link.
• When writing your question, imagine you are speaking to someone in person i.e. provide a clear and detailed post with enough information that outlines how Dr.Kim can help you.

Background

After 20 years of experience working as a GP, Dr Kim realised in 2003 the aspect of her work she enjoyed most was talking to people and understanding the way they think and behave – and so she underwent training in counselling and therapy, where she now solely works.

Her experience includes working with a wide range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and adolescent mental health.

“Given my training I also see couples, siblings, parents with their children and entire family groups,” she says. “In this work I hope to give families the skills to understand one another and have the strategies to communicate and manage relationships that are distressing them. I believe strongly that best therapy is achieved when there is trust in the therapist's ability but also their genuine desire to understand and help.”

[Eliza2]

Hi Dr Kim

My daughter is 21 and graduated from uni with distinction 6 months ago. Sine then she has not applied for work and comes up with a range of excuses not to do so. She seems to be stuck. I am concerned about her mental health. She refuses to visit a go for a mental health evaluation. Do you have any suggestions to assist?

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Tim.S
It is not uncommon for doctors to disagree on things - both diagnosis AND treatment. I often say to people that if you gather up 10 doctors in a room and present the same information you may get 10 variations of the opinion as to what is going on and what to do about it. This makes sense to us doctors who see medicine as full of grey areas. However, this is really annoying for patients who want a clear cut answer as to what is going on .

I think the good news in this situation is that you have probably excluded anything life threatening as you have had a number of opinions and it has been going on for a few years.

However you have been unable to put a name on the episodes. The big clue that caught my eye is that you went on anti depressants for a period and the symptoms were “rare” . I think that is a good lead. I think it is maybe a good idea to reconsider using the anti depressant medication if the episodes are troubling you , and if the side effects of the medications were not too onerous. Why? Because even if you are unsure if it is anxiety OR vestibular neuritis , if you have found something that manages it so well, then it may be a good option for you . At least it might be worth a second trial.

I do think you might want to think about treatment for your anxiety though as you say that you are catastophising and getting stuck on thoughts . You also mention your temper is flaring and you seem irritable. These are signs of uncontrolled anxiety and talking to your GP about treatments for anxiety ( the antidepressant might double as an anti anxiety med) , but also maybe talking to a psychologist or doing some relaxation work .

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

Your physical symptoms may be related to your anxiety OR to neuritis . I would do a symptom diary and then do interventions like medications or therapy or exercise or meditation or diet changes … and give each a good 4-8 weeks and see if any make a difference when monitored in your symptom diary . Whatever it is will hopefully become less relevant if it just goes away!!

[Lostmumof2]

I have had depression since high school and anxiety my whole life and on top of this I have a skin picking disorder. I am a mother of 2 girls, 2.5yo and 10months, I also work two days a week and study part time. Most days I feel like my life is Groundhog Day, the same thing day in day out, it’s got to the point where I want my kids to go to daycare full time so I can have some sort of my life back. I never get the chance to clean my house or wash clothes or just relax. I don’t even know who I can talk to anymore because my husband thinks the best approach is to pretend I’m ok. I’m not ok, I just want to Run away from my life permanently. I am medicated and exercise but it’s just not enough. I take my anger out on my kids... I’m so lost

[red_green]

When I think about it, something has been wrong for a long time. I've allowed a lot of great people to leave my life because I was in a bad place and couldn't deal with it. I've self-medicated over the years with alcohol and substances to make the guilt and self-loathing go away but the demons are always there. To most people, I'm an outspoken, confident professional who has achieved a lot in life, inside I'm a mess, have no confidence and feel like a failure. Each day I out on my mask and I go out there and function then I come home.

I've always worked harder and longer than I should but over the last year, my work has become impossible. Managing a workload I cannot complete even working excessive hours in evenings and weekends. I don't function at my best, I'm always tired and I feel like I'm failing. I've had to travel a lot interstate too which takes its toll. My health is terrible, I comfort eat and I drink alcohol almost every day to numb the anxiety, which I know is wrong but means I fall asleep. Sleep is always broken, even sleeping tablets don't stop the thoughts and the waking up.

I've been in discussions with my boss who is based over east for over 6 months trying to agree a new structure and role, desperately asking for more resource to help with the workload. I still deliver results but it never feels good enough. Each interaction is exhausting and I feel like I'm getting beaten up constantly. I feel like I cannot do a thing right and I care so much. After months of this escalating, I'm being restructured into a lower role so I feel like my boss is trying to force to leave. My reputation feels like it is in tatters and because I've been crap to everyone in my life, there's very few people left.

I cannot stop crying today and feel completely worthless. I need help, I just don't know where to start.

[Michael_G]

Hi dr Kim

depression is a problem with young people and I depression and anxiety and I would like help someone to talk about it before it gets worse

[Sophie_M]

Hi Everyone, 

Just wanted to let you know that Dr.Kim has received your questions and is currently developing responses. 

She's been quite busy so the turn around in a response is a little longer than usual. 

 

[Missjo]

Hi all, I have always had social anxiety in some way or another throughout my life..mostly the usual internal self doubt and general lack of self esteem. I also have had terrible anxiety about a loved one being hurt, graphic visuals and all. However, recently due to what has been found to be vitamin deficiency, I have horrible harm OCD regarding myself and my loved ones. I am trying mediation, and the mood gym app for CBT therapy but while these things kick in and my body gets healthy again, I was hoping to find some other coping mechanisms. As you can imagine it's quite distressing. Would love your advice. Xo

[Dr_Kim]

1. Hi AnneGR,
Worrying about a loved one is very common and it can be very distressing to think that they are not facing their problems or getting help and feeling powerless to do anything about it. The thing is that your caring and concern is actually more important than you might think . It is helping her to know that you are there for her when and if she needs it. It is really important to be honest with her about your observations and concerns but not to rush or push her . To listen openly to her and ask her how you can be helpful to her and then accept her agenda .
We all move at different speeds and have somewhat different ways of handling our problems . Your daughter is clearly trying to find her way . It is wonderful that she has a caring supportive parent behind her but ultimately it is her decision to accept or reject help. I would gently open the possibilities to her but then allow her to decide on which path and process to try.
Have a look at this page on the Beyond Blue website , I think you will see that it is really common to not really know what to do and many people have similar concerns to yours. You are not alone and your concerns are absolutely valid. Good luck with your daughter. If you develop more concerns about her, please see your GP or ring the Beyond blue or Headspace help lines for further advice.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talking-to-someone-you-are-worried-about

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Lostmumof2

It must be really hard to feel under the pump with both parenting and your mental health issues which both cause enormous stress and strains.
It is understandable that you feel like you just need to “run away” but it is great that you are putting your hand up and admitting you are not OK and trying to take steps to sort things out .
So lets try and help you get support so that you can be the woman and the mother you want to be. I can hear that you don't want to be taking this out on your kids and you are right that its important to sort it out so that they are protected from it.

So… where is this magical support from. I love that you exercise already (go you!) . I think it would be an idea to go back to your GP and ask for a medication review possibly with a psychiatrist who has an interest in post natal depression or at leat working with young mothers / families. Its possible your medications might need tweaking.
You didn’t mention a counsellor or therapist but I wonder if you might consider getting some support . Someone to talk through all these feelings with might be really helpful .You could ask your GP for a referral or you could talk to a trained counsellor on line or on a phone through one of these trusted organisations.

https://www.panda.org.au/
https://www.parentline.com.au/

The bottom line is that your husbands approach of just pretending things are ok may work well for him as a tool to manage difficulties but I think its clear that its not working for you.

Please continue to listen to yourself and get the help you need to get your anxiety and depression better managed and feeling that your life is
back on track.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi There
I think its a great idea to talk to someone before things get worse. About 1 in 5 young people experience some form of mental health issue so this is a really common issue.
I suggest that you might start with talking to someone at your school or Uni/Tafe if you attend that sort of institution. They usually have free access to that sort of thing there so that might be a start. It is confidential and geared to help young people to understand their thinking and find ways though their problems.
You can also try your family GP for advice about support in your area.

Also maybe look online. People of my generation spend a lot of time bagging the internet and “screen time” in general but it does have its up side. One is that it can allow people to access quality information and online support if you know where to go.

So if you think you might have depression and/ or anxiety are having bad thoughts including suicidal ones I suggest you look at websites like
- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety
-https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/depression
https://www.headspace.org.au/assets/Uploads/Resource-library/Young-people/Depression-web.pdf

If you dont have support at your school or Uni and you are under 25yrs old , you might like to try a Headspace centre https://headspace.org.au/
or you can also try
eHeadspace
https://www.eheadspace.org.au/
You can talk or email them to get more personalised advice.

Or you can contact Beyond Blue
https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/

Another great service is the REACH organisation
http://www.reach.org.au/we-are-reach/#who-we-are-section

I hope this gives you some leads .. The overall message is - you are doing the right thing to get on top of it . You are being responsible in looking after yourself and in challenging the thoughts and feelings. Don’t ignore it. Talk to someone ..in person , over a phone or on line.