Got a question related to mental health? ASK DR KIM

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim, who pops into the forums regularly.

PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Dr Kim won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional.

UPDATE - 01/03/2018
BEFORE YOU ASK DR.KIM PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

• Dr Kim's time is limited! We cannot provide an ongoing dialogue with Dr Kim in this thread - one post/question per person please
•  We'd recommend you have a look through the forums before posting here to see if your question has already been answered by Dr Kim, our other members, or if there's information about it already on the beyondblue website. If a question pops up that has already been answered previously, or if alternate resources are available, one of our moderators will reply and direct you to the link.
• When writing your question, imagine you are speaking to someone in person i.e. provide a clear and detailed post with enough information that outlines how Dr.Kim can help you.

Background

After 20 years of experience working as a GP, Dr Kim realised in 2003 the aspect of her work she enjoyed most was talking to people and understanding the way they think and behave – and so she underwent training in counselling and therapy, where she now solely works.

Her experience includes working with a wide range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and adolescent mental health.

“Given my training I also see couples, siblings, parents with their children and entire family groups,” she says. “In this work I hope to give families the skills to understand one another and have the strategies to communicate and manage relationships that are distressing them. I believe strongly that best therapy is achieved when there is trust in the therapist's ability but also their genuine desire to understand and help.”

[blondguy]

Hay Jabba

Welcome to Dr Kim's thread. Just in case Dr Kim is unavailable until Monday you are more than welcome to post your own thread on the main forums if you wish to of course. If you do choose to post your own thread topic could you provide a little additional detail just so we can help you more effectively 🙂

The forums are rock solid secure and your privacy is paramount here. There are many gentle people that can do their best to help you

Im Paul (not a GP, just a volunteer) and its good to meet you Jabba.

My Best

Paul

[Sophie_M]

Hi Jabba, thanks for posting.  This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim.  Unfortunately, there's not enough information in your post for Dr Kim to assist.  We would suggest starting a new thread in one of the support sections with more detail and focused on how our community can help and support you. 

[Dr_Kim]

MariaDurie said:Hello, I don't know what is depression cuz I never had have it. But I think my husband is having a depressive episode. He was in medication for 2 years when he was diagnosed with a quemical unbalance. Since we are together he seems well and he quite the medicine around 3 moth ago. He is moody, always tired and he seems not enjoy life, he just not look happy and sleeps too much. Sometimes a whole day without eating. I feel very worry, he don't talk to me just say he is tired from work but I fear the worst. He when to a gp and they just offered drugs. What we can do? I'm desperate.

I think your hunch might be right . I think it is highly possible that your husband has a recurrence of his depression. 

A list of symptoms are found here 
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms 

He has a history of the illness and also he went off his medications recently AND his GP recommended that he recommence medications , so all that together makes me think that depression is highly likely.

Why did your husband decide to go off his medications? Was he having side effects ? Was he concerned about being on it for a prolonged period of time?

I think it is important that he discuss openly with his GP the pros and cons of taking medications and NOT taking medication.

He is right that there are other ways that depression  is treated - regular and long term psychotherapy together with lifestyle interventions, like exercise for example  and mindfulness have been shown to be valuable for mild to moderate depression. 

They are a lot of work and time to invest in but it is his choice as to what path he would like to take to recover.

There is no guarantee that any one path will be successful in managing the depression on its own and for some people they have to do ALL THREE in order to get back to feeling ok again.

I would talk to your husband and tell him you are worried, that NOT doing anything is NOT an option because you love him and it is too hard for you to just watch him become unwell when you know there are treatments available. However you are going to support him in whatever way HE would like to tackle his depression once you have discussed options with a health professional.

If you need to look at various counsellors in your area , here is a starting guide - you can look up via the condition needed to treat and postcode, and you can see if they speak any second languages etc.

http://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/?utm_source=findapractitioner&utm_medium=button&utm_campaign=beyondblue

Going to the GP with your husband and relaying your concerns is also a good idea. 

Good luck and your husband is lucky to have you.

[savvii]

Hi Dr Kim,

This is tricky because I don't want to appear to be attempting to self diagnose, because basically I am not, I am looking for answers.

I have a problem that it seems is going to take quite a bit for anyone to take seriously. I was born at a time when mental health issues or any form of 'mental deficiency' was regarded as completely taboo. Everything was buried and hidden. I gave good reason to believe that I am Autistic. Specifically I think that I fall into the PDD description. Research into this is very difficult, as it is mostly aligned with parental recognition of signs in young children. I am finding it extremely difficult to find any information about un-dignosed older adults.

I recently plucked up the courage to mention it to my trusted GP of the last 4 years. Her immediate response was to look up from her desk and say "no you are not" and that was the end of the conversation. In hindsight I wish I'd thought to ask her 'why do you think I'm not' or at least 'don't you want to know, why I think I am". But I was silenced by her resolute response and didn't want to answer her back. I am now seeing a new clinical psychologist for my un-treated PTSD and hyper-vigilance and will mention it to her in due course. But I am more than a little nervous about another health professional brushing it off.

I think at least 1 of my brothers is Autistic, he is 11 months younger than me. My brother virtually did not speak for the first 10 or so years of his life, it was always a shock when he did speak. He is now a man of very few words, but people put it down to reserve or even aloofness. For myself, according to my now deceased Mum, I was an 'impossible' child from an extremely early age. I have many memories of getting into constant trouble. My Mother used to repeatedly remind me that 'they wanted to expel you from kindergarten', Mum talked them out of it. OMG that story horrified me as I got older, along with other stories Mum would recount. I was regarded as a naughty child who required punishment and discipline. The only respite I had was with my Grandmother who seemed to understand me in a way my parents didn't.

In the first interview with my new psychologist, she asked me if I had a 'history of mental illness' prior to my PTSD diagnosis (2013/14), I said no, because living with extreme anxiety has always been my 'normal' so it never occurred to me to mention it. I'll rectify that when I see her this week.

Thanks for any thoughts

Savvii

[Dr_Kim]

Kalisi90 said:

Hi Dr kim

I'm married with 4 beautiful boys, one has cancer, another with ezcma and another with asthma and my husband gambling issues and I have a weight problem after pregnancy it's been hard to loose weight.

I feel so depressed my son is really sick, I feel like my husband is not really concern about my other kids than I am.. I keep forgiving him so easily every time he almost gamble his hard working pay, I feel like I'm just waiting for him to stuff up so I could leave but I feel like I can't for the children I feel trapped or depressed through this marriage can you help me through this depression or what is wrong with me?

Hi Kalisi90, what a difficult situation.

Your first priority clearly is your  boys but even the strongest of us need help when things get as tough as they seem for you.

Firstly , look at this website: http://gaaustralia.org.au/gam-anon/

It is for family members of those with gambling addiction. It may give you some useful tools for putting some boundaries around his addiction and the impact on the family.

Secondly , I am not sure what support you have around you with respect to family and friends but maybe this group might be able to give you some help with practical things like finances , housing , employment , Counselling etc https://www.wire.org.au/

I don't know that the best strategy is to wait until everything is a mess so that you have the moral right to leave . You have a legitimate right NOW to feel safe and secure ... and you don't because you feel "trapped" and depressed in the marriage and just expect him to "stuff up".  Maybe getting some good advice about financial security for example will help you to feel stronger and less trapped.

I would also suggest that you get a good counselor on board . Talk to your GP or ring the Beyond Blue help line for suggestions 1300 22 4636.

Maybe even going to the GP together  , booking a long appointment and with your husband present, tell them all your concerns so it's all out in the open .

So the long and short is , get support ! 

[Dr_Kim]

savvii said:

Hi Dr Kim,

This is tricky because I don't want to appear to be attempting to self diagnose, because basically I am not, I am looking for answers.

Hi Savii,
 
Wow.. what a story. I think it's really hard to any of us to  feel that our experiences, thoughts or feelings are not understood or validated by others . This is especially so when the person is someone that we look up to like a parent, a teacher or a doctor. 

So possibly what is really upsetting you here is not that people can’t get your diagnosis exactly right but more that they are not taking the time to really listen to what you are experiencing. 

My thought is that it may be more valuable for you not to be too caught up on the name of what you have, but maybe be more intent on elucidating clearly what the mental health issues are for you and how they impact your life. I understand that we all want to know what is going on so naturally we want that diagnosis that helps us feel relieved there is an explanation for our thoughts and feelings, but sometimes its best to start from the beginning with the symptoms.

Make a list. 

For example , some of my patients have brought in things like … 

1. Procrastination- this comes in the form of  finding it hard to decide what to do because I am so worried that i will make the wrong decision , so I dont do anything and that seems to be worse.

2. Sleep disturbance - I find I can’t sleep at night because I lie awake and all my problems go though my head.

3. Friendships - "I can’t work out why I always manage to say the wrong things" or …  “ I can’t work out why people dont like me”

4. Avoidance - I seem to not do things even though there is a part of me that knows I should . 

There are so many things that could go on a list like this.
I wonder if you could just think carefully about what your Top 5 or Top 10 issues are and how they impact your life. Don’t worry about the diagnosis or label .Let the health professional grapple with that . Its their job to work that out . Its your job to communicate to them what is going on for you so the two of you together can work it out and develop a treatment plan that helps to manage your list. 

I hope this way of looking of things might be helpful to you.

[kay_kay]

hi doc, how do u know that u have depression?? i think i may have it but im unsure. i am young and well at school but lately i have been feeling rather odd, not myself. i googled it online (which i knew was a bad thing), hoping for something that may lead to an answer. i read that i had signs of it but i wanna know truly! how do u know if u have depression???

thank u

[Sophie_M]

Hi kay kay, thanks for your question - we already have a lot of great resources online that answer this one.

We'd suggest starting with this page, and let us know if you have any further questions: https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/understand-what's-going-on/depression

[white knight]

Hi Dr Kim

We've had occasional posts from parents of young adults say 18-20yo that have signs of mental illness issues but refuse to attend a GP.

Can you suggest and practical ways of coercing them to get help?. Its a difficult age group as you are aware.

Tony WK

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tony WK, Dr Kim will provide an answer for this question shortly.

They won't get help: supporting your teenager through a mental health crisis

In the meantime, we're closing the thread while Dr Kim takes some leave - she will be back on October 25.