Got a question related to mental health? ASK DR KIM

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim, who pops into the forums regularly.

PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Dr Kim won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional.

UPDATE - 01/03/2018
BEFORE YOU ASK DR.KIM PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

• Dr Kim's time is limited! We cannot provide an ongoing dialogue with Dr Kim in this thread - one post/question per person please
•  We'd recommend you have a look through the forums before posting here to see if your question has already been answered by Dr Kim, our other members, or if there's information about it already on the beyondblue website. If a question pops up that has already been answered previously, or if alternate resources are available, one of our moderators will reply and direct you to the link.
• When writing your question, imagine you are speaking to someone in person i.e. provide a clear and detailed post with enough information that outlines how Dr.Kim can help you.

Background

After 20 years of experience working as a GP, Dr Kim realised in 2003 the aspect of her work she enjoyed most was talking to people and understanding the way they think and behave – and so she underwent training in counselling and therapy, where she now solely works.

Her experience includes working with a wide range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and adolescent mental health.

“Given my training I also see couples, siblings, parents with their children and entire family groups,” she says. “In this work I hope to give families the skills to understand one another and have the strategies to communicate and manage relationships that are distressing them. I believe strongly that best therapy is achieved when there is trust in the therapist's ability but also their genuine desire to understand and help.”

[AllyRoo]

Hey Dr Kim,

I'm 40, and been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I got my referral yesterday after procrastinating for months. I've made the appointment to see the Psychologist. How do I make sure they are the right person? What kind of questions should I ask?

On a side note - Seeing as my main issue is anxiety - how do I actually get myself there in the first place when just going causes massive anxiety?!

[715123]

Hi. I have just started seeing someone who suffered from depression. They have only had this since a family break up. I'm after support and help with how I can help him? Thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hi AllyRoo, Dr Kim has answered a very similar question to this (regarding how to get to a psychologist appointment when you're anxious) in this thread here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/anxiety-when-visiting-the-psychologist

She has also discussed some general pointers about therapy and finding the right therapist in this thread here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/taking-first-big-step-into-getting-help

 

[Sophie_M]

Hi 715123, we'd recommend having a read through this thread for some answers:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-health-condition-(carers)/need-advice-to-cope-with-depressed-partner

As well as this section of our website:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/supporting-someone

[Dudo]

Hello dr Kim,

I am trying to help a friend who has a mid twenty year old son who has some mental health problems. He is living at home. Is there a service that supports a person who has a mental health issue to find and then transition into independent living?

Any help will be appreciated.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Dudo,
Have a look at the NEAMI National website:

http://www.neaminational.org.au/our-services/individual-outreach-support

[Dr_Kim]

Hi radiojammer, you have so much on your plate and feeling so alone with it all is not helping . I am pleased you have a psychologist that you can check in with and hope you can establish regular appointments soon . I wonder if you might also benefit from a community support group. You may get both some support / understanding and also you may be able to process with them this question you have about people not liking you or reading you the wrong way. You can check out local support groups via the Black Dog institute website .

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/gettinghelp/blackdogsupportgroups.cfm or http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/gettinghelp/othersupportgroups.cfm

I encourage you to contact Headspace , eHeadspace or Kidshelpline to get some advice re your son . It is really frustrating to feel out of control with this situation and school refusal can be due to all sorts of things from learning disorders, anxiety, depression, addictions, bullying , trauma, issues in the home…so its important to have help sorting through it and getting your child some help to get back into education.

Check in with GP to see if your medications are correct for you at the moment .Its always worthwhile having a medication review as things can change.

[DisplayName02]

Hey...

So essentially this is super hard for me to write, and Im sorry if I dont make sense, but my question is essentially; Do I have depression?

Recently I have just been feeling so out-of-it, sad, prone to wanting to cry, having a lack of concentration, and not wanting to do anything. Along with this is a set of physical 'attacks' that my GP is putting down as lack of iron (though the tests she ran said I was fine with my iron levels). These 'attacks' usually last 30min and involve queasiness, dizziness, muddled feelings, a slowing down effect on my body, plus my heart being painful. I usually get heightened depressed or irritable feelings with this.

Also recently the thought of food makes me feel sick, and so does actual eating, but only if i am sat down eating a meal, gorging on mandarins doesnt bother me.

The reason i am not sure wether it is depression or not is because I dont get feelings of me being a failure, or not having a future, or worthlessness. I just feel like I dont want to be in my life, not thats its stressing or monotone its just... I dont know. I feel sad and tired for no good reason and...

The other problem that is plaguing me in this situation is who to talk to. I have serious trouble when I try to get myself help, or tell someone about my situation, because i start thinking, oh i just being stupid; my imagination is making it worse than it is, its just hormones every teenager goes through this. These thoughts can be summed up as "You are fine, you are over-reacting". This makes it hard to do anything. The closest Ive come to doing anything is taken a couple of online tests and written this, which Im not sure i will even post.

The other problem i have in terms of seeking help is... I essentially hate telling anyone what I am thinking. This is partially because my dad overworries about everything and my mum tells me to get over it. My friends will think i am crazy or being stupid... I just have never opened up to anyone, bar a few cases that ended in disaster.

I guess I am also scared that I do have a problem.

This post was stupidly long, and I probably wont even post it anyways.

I know that something is wrong, even though it is hard to admit. I am self-aware enough to know when I am having a physical 'attack' or a mental one. But it is so hard to do anything about.

Please help.

[Moonstruck]

Dear Dr Kim

My daughter in law has just begun anti depressants again after being off them for a couple of years. Apparently this time it is a "different" one as the last time she was prescribed the "wrong one". My concerns and confusion relates to the often seen comments that you "have to try to see which one suits" and "you will probably feel worse at first, before they begin to "kick in"...and "they can take up to 4 weeks to work".

This sounds terribly scary and "hit and miss " to me. My worry is what on earth happens to the patient while "waiting for it to kick in? If they are in a bad way to begin with, how can they manage feeling even worse?

I am concerned that if my d.i.l. has to feel even lower, with even more distorted and desperate thoughts than she is having already...she may do something destructive before finding "the right one".

the thought of this happening frightens me.....would her GP have done extensive probing and tests or something to ascertain which one to give her?.....thanks for your time....Moonstruck

[Dr_Kim]

DisplayName02 said:

Hey...

So essentially this is super hard for me to write, and Im sorry if I dont make sense, but my question is essentially; Do I have depression?

Hi DisplayName02, I am so glad that you wrote in as I hope we can make a start on clarifying some of this stuff for you.

I think there is a lot going on and in my experience, things often don't fit neatly into boxes but are usually a messy mix of things.

I think you may very well be having some of the thoughts about yourself that many adolescents have. Thoughts about your identity and your worth. It also seems that you are working really hard to try and make head or tail of the whirlpool of emotions that are in your head recently. This is an important part of growing up and I congratulate you on being courageous enough to really think about your thinking (being Mindful ! )

However , it can be confusing when the "growing up" box get muddled up with the "anxious thinking" box or with the "negative thinking" box . It's hard to know what is what ! 

I think this is where the help of a trusted adult or counsellor can be really valuable. Someone who can help you sort out the jumble into piles that seem more easy to tackle. For example, the "attacks” are possibly panic attacks that will respond to a detailed understanding of what they are and some thinking and breathing exercises. 
Don't get too worried about if you have “actual" depression or not , but just think of trying to notice and not be a victim to your own negative thoughts. 

A therapist/ counsellor can help you with this or you can start with a good self help book . You can look at "Change Your Thinking " by Sarah Edelman .

Just because you look at a website and don’t have the “ full hand” of symptoms doesn’t make you a fraud or not worthy of help. 

Its always easier to go on the journey to good health with support . First try your parents. Your mum might think she is being helpful and positive by telling you to get over it or maybe she is reacting to years of trying to sort out your dad, but either way, you might try to her talk to her calmly and quietly about needing some help to sort our the tangle in your thoughts and seeing if she can support you or at least help you get to a GP or counsellor to take some steps to get the help you need. If you can’t go to your mum, maybe try your Dad if you think he will “get” it better as he has experienced some of the same things. Or you could try a counsellor at school. You can also talk to people via the eHeadspace service which might be a good start too.

Whatever you do, keep on this good road you on to getting to know your own brain better. That way you are more likely to be able to be manage the thoughts and feelings it will throw in your path.