Getting over stigma about seeking help

[sparrowhawk]

This is probably something many can get or relate to...

I have been seeing a psychologist for the past few months, she recommended I try some medication to help me with my sleep and mood, and yesterday my GP prescribed me an antidepressant. When medication was recommended to me I was surprised, as I hadn't really expected that, and felt a bit disappointed. As a teenager I had depression and was treated with psychiatry and antidepressants. My parents, especially my dad, were not happy about that and carried a lot of stigma about medication and about seeking help. I even remember at one stage my dad told me that mental health help would "go on my record", whatever that meant. A few similar things have been said to me throughout my life, along the lines of "you won't be accepted for X/Y/Z because you have had depression". This always made me very afraid to acknowledge I was going through a rough time because I thought I'd be rejected.

I guess I carry that with me. I'm ready to try anything but I can't shake the feeling of being a failure, of letting people down, and of not being accepted because I have a mental illness. My mother is against me taking any antidepressants, as is a good friend of mine. It all actually makes me feel more depressed. I am just wondering how you guys get through that stigma. I know the stigma and stereotyping is a real problem which can lead to tragic circumstances and I really want to be able to move from that critical judgement of myself. I really want to get help and I don't know if the medication will work until I try it, so I want to go for it. I just want to fight for myself instead of always doing what others say I should do.

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks Mary. Yes, I sent it to my mum but she didn't reply. I called her yesterday afternoon (about another matter) and just mentioned to her that I had bought the medication and was starting that evening. She did not sound happy and I asked her if she had told my dad as I knew he would be angry or upset. She said she hadn't and that he would probably say it was not a good idea. I reiterated some of the things mentioned in this post - that it's not like I want to take medication, I'd rather just feel better on my own, and that people who haven't been in this situation are simply not able to understand the depth of that decision.

Oh, I HATE people asking "How are you?" I get it's polite and some of them are interested or even concerned, but I wish I could just say "Please don't ask me". I really feel horrible but I generally find myself saying "I'm okay" or "I'm fine", just so that people won't ask me any more questions.

You have made me feel very reassured; thank you so much.

[Tel72]

Sparrow hawk, you’re not a failure mate, far from it. You have taken the step, and the next....now keep stepping.

i am around the age of your parents and have hidden from myself for around 10 years, whilst going through losing my kids to a vindictive first wife, losing my business to a strategic second wife, a reward of cancer at the end of that year, joining my “best mate” in business to turn it around, only to see him laugh and steal all of the money that I had made us and move overseas.....desperate, I went back to corporate life to cover debts that weren’t mine, be shunned by government entities who would not help, ever, and finally after 12 years, I finally admitted to myself l, after losing 3 hours of my life in a panic attack that I cannot remember, I went to get help...!! After an hour session, I felt a little better, was told that the most important part is coming up now (I had to pay $150 that I didn’t have...) Medicare would cover the $125, which I am still waiting for after a week and the so called professional no longer takes my calls..?? I had to disclose this to my employer and this morning I turned up at 7am, my boss was waiting for me and be informed me that as I was within my 6 months probation that ends on this Friday, they were letting me go...!!

BUT.....I made the step, and I will  make the next one.....we are too important to too many people to just let this behaviour of greater society win....next step mate...next step..!!

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks Tel. Deep down I know I need some help, but at the same time I keep telling myself I'm failing for seeking help, or bothering people when I talk to them, or others have their own problems so why talk about mine. Basically all this negativity which makes me feel worse and worse.

I am so sorry to hear of all your struggles, they would really wear you down. Good on you for getting help and for taking those steps. I really don't feel important and tell myself I am not important, but I know there are people who do care about me. That makes me determined to make it better. Thanks mate.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Tel welcome to the forum. What a sad story yet her determination keep going and getting help is very important.

I am not sure why you had to disclose and what you had to disclose to your employer.

Sparrowhawk, I notice you are helping many other posters. Small steps and I can see by your posts you have an open mind and a willingness to help others.

Quirky