Bad experience with therapist. Having to go without a therapist for a while. Not coping overly well.

[Guest_125]

Just wanting to get this off my chest I guess. A few sessions in, and my last therapy session didn't go so well. I got really overwhelmed in the face of him challenging me through the CBT. I cried and then kind of shut down - couldn't organise my thoughts and couldn't bring myself to speak and struggled to make eye contact.

I have been undergoing CBT and have found it to be quite an invalidating experience at times. Towards the end he softened his approach which eased me up, and at the very end he didn't try to make a new appointment - he just said he would contact me with his appointment availabilities to make me a new appointment.

He was supposed to contact me early last week and still hasn't contacted me. It is now heading towards the 2 week mark since my last appointment and I can feel myself slipping backwards, especially because of the situation with my therapist. It is really hurtful because I feel like he has either forgotten about me or doesn't want to see me anymore.

I know that the obvious thing might be for me to be the one that reaches out, but I can't bring myself to do it. I just feel ashamed about how I was at my last appointment.

Because of this my husband has made me an appointment with my GP to look at getting me a new therapist. It's not for another week and a half, and then who knows how long until I get someone new. The uncertainty of when I will see someone next is really hard to cope with. The hardest thing about it is that this is my first ever therapist and it has turned into a rubbish experience. I feel really defeated at the moment.

[Guest_125]

Hi Mathy,

Thanks. I told the new one about my previous experience. I was really scared to meet her but she is more gentle and empathetic, and made me feel more at ease about CBT. All she wants me to do so far is increase the amount of self-care and usually enjoyable activities I am doing, even if I don't feel like doing them. She said that it is not worth getting me to examine my thinking at this stage, which I think seems right for me.

[Mathy]

Hi there,

That sounds fantastic, I’m so pleased for you, thanks for letting us know, cheers M 🙂

intergalactic-kitty said:

Hi Mathy,

Thanks. I told the new one about my previous experience. I was really scared to meet her but she is more gentle and empathetic, and made me feel more at ease about CBT. All she wants me to do so far is increase the amount of self-care and usually enjoyable activities I am doing, even if I don't feel like doing them. She said that it is not worth getting me to examine my thinking at this stage, which I think seems right for me.

[Guest_125]

A few sessions in and still going well.

Now I have gotten to a point where I have some relief from feeling hopeless and worthless. My new psychologist thinks that it is possible I grew up with a mother who may have a personality disorder, or at the very least, has no excuses for her abuse. My current lot of homework is about boosting my self esteem and doing reading to try to understand my mother's behaviour. It is nice to have some of my depression symptoms alleviated. I still have some way to go, especially with the anxiety side of things, but very pleased with progress so far.

My last psychologist had a "the past is the past" attitude, and didn't want to hear anything about anyone else in my life but my husband. If people ever leave a session feeling frustrated or invalidated, I hope they can learn from my experience and get a new psychologist sooner rather than later. I wasted 4 of my 10 sessions on someone who was never going to help me because I questioned my own instinct and blamed myself for feeling the way I did.

[Mathy]

Hi Intergalactic-kitty (what a gr8 name, especially as The Last Jedi has just been released 😊),

Firstly, I’m glad that things are progressing well for you. Secondly, I find it sad that you had a psychologist who adopted a “past is the past” attitude. I can sort of see that there’s a point in that, but I’ve yet to meet anyone who found it helpful.

I myself, once again find myself confronting my Mother’s poor parenting (to keep it short). Yes, one can do CBT and ignore the past by dealing with the current symptoms. But, “you know what?” - not dealing with the source of those symptoms means they just comes back and bites you in the bum. I’m going to go down a similar path as yours 🙂

Thank you for posting back, it seems that you’re on a road to progression. No doubt there will be some setbacks along the way, but that’s to be expected.

I’d love to hear how you’re going, so please post back if you can, bestest, cheers M 🙂