Ask Dr Kim | Archived live chats

[Chris_B]

Good afternoon everyone, Dr Kim is here and we're ready to start.

Welcome Kim, our first question is below:

I am a 23 year old female with contamination-focused OCD. Do you have any advice about how I could deal with anxiety over my boyfriend's health? He is the only person I kiss and share drinks with, which means that if he does get sick, I will be likely to get infected. I really love and care about him, so the anxiety is not just about fear of contracting germs and illness, but also wanting him to be healthy and well.

[Chris_B]

Our next question is about winter moods:

What is the research/ findings behind light therapy devices and what is your opinion? They are a recognised treatment for depression in many countries and subsidised by private health funds.

[Dr_Kim]

The news about Light Therapy is still coming in and is very interesting. It is not my area of expertise but my understanding is that in countries where there is severe winter darkness ( e.g. Iceland / Greenland) there can be problems with seasonal affective disorders, where people can feel much lower in mood over the long dark winters.

Extrapolating from this, researchers have looked at introducing light boxes to mimic increased natural light to “trick” the mind into thinking that it isn’t in such a dark ( literally) place! This therapy has shown some positive results and now people are looking at whether light therapy might work in and of itself. My understanding is that the jury is still out on the use of light therapy as a stand alone therapy for depression in places like Australia (where we have plenty of light even in winter) but I think it is an interesting area of research to watch.

[Chris_B]

A family-related question is next:

Dear Dr Kim I was first diagnosed with depression 18 years ago and with Bipolar 3 two years ago. I have been on medication on and off for 18 years and regularly for two years now. I have had a difficult time with my mother in law since I got married 30 years ago - she lives with us. Now she is too old to create any problems. But I find it very hard to forget and forgive. The very sight of her is enough to put me back to the beginning when our relationship started. I do not know what to do. I want to be free of this inner torment that is constantly there. Please point me in the right direction. Thanks

[Dr_Kim]

It is a difficult situation to have a family member who you feel has caused you such grief living with you. It must be very challenging to try and manage your own mental health issues and also put your anger toward her in some sort of place that isn’t tormenting you.

I hope that your husband is sympathetic to your plight and supports you and if not , I would advise you to spend some time and energy (maybe even with a counsellor) getting him to understand your journey . I think feeling validated might help relieve the torment .

Your mother in law is unlikely to change but you can change the way she makes you feel. You say that the sight of her puts you “back to the beginning” . Maybe you need to forgive yourself about who you were back then, at the “beginning”, and be proud of your strengths and the journey you have been on. Try maybe writing a letter to that self you were 30 years ago and see what words of wisdom you might give your younger self about the road ahead, and what you have learned.

I bang on a bit about this, but I also think learning to develop mindfulness will help to dial down the torment. For a start try the Smiling Mind or similar app or if there is a group near you, that might be a good idea too.

[Chris_B]

Our next question is about PTSD:

I recently watched a movie called; 'Going Clear - Scientology'. Apart from everything else, what struck me was the activity called 'Auditing'. People were electronically gauged while confessing past trauma's and problems, both against them and from them to the point of analytically scrutinising themselves daily to satisfy church authorities. I've done this in a way for many years trying to rid myself of PTSD and psychological pain. In some instances it's worked and helped to understand my behaviour and then change. On the down side, I think I've re-traumatised myself. Your thoughts?

[Dr_Kim]

What a great question and I am going to say from the outset that I haven’t yet seen the movie but I have had some patients who have been involved with Scientology so have some second hand knowledge. My concern from what I know about this process is that the people conducting it are not doctors or psychologists trained to understand how the process can upset or trigger them or the other person they are auditing.

The auditing is run to a regimented formula and unlike normal therapy, the auditor has their own agenda and may not know how to safely address the person’s individual needs. The positive aspect to this process is that someone is being listened to intensely and that in itself can be very therapeutic ..

You spoke of the process of scrutinising oneself as a way to alleviate psychological pain and maybe you are referring to a type of Mindfulness. This had been shown to be very helpful for people to develop more cognitive control over their thoughts and also less chaotic bodily responses to emotions.

I’m not familiar with exactly what “electrical gauge” they use, but it may be a sort of biofeedback machine, and if that is so .. then that is a recognised therapeutic tool in helping people understand how their thoughts impact on things like their pulse or blood pressure. Maybe that has helped you in the past?

PTSD is a complex illness where during the trauma the brain was unable to file what was happening in the right places , so these “misfiled” thoughts and bodily responses pop out at the wrong times and are associated with things that in reality have no real connection.

It may take many months or years of work with a support group or therapist to really understand and manage your PTSD fully but the rewards will be great so I encourage you to keep trying as it getting as both the understanding and treatment of PTSD is getting better all the time.

[Chris_B]

Our next question is about body image:

Hi Dr Kim. I have found that lately I've been very tired, achy and angry or sad. I think that it has something to do with my weight. I am trying to fix this but the other day one of my friends called me a 'walrus' and I cried myself to sleep. I was surprised by this because I get that all the time but suddenly it just really upset me. Sometimes I'll be sitting in my room and suddenly feel very angry and have the urge to hit something. I'm not sure what's happening. Hopefully when I start my weight loss I'll start feeling better. But in the meantime, what are some things that I could do to help myself? Regards, Tiger Rose

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Tiger Rose, Thank you for your honest post. Firstly, I think you should get a check up at your GP as it is important to make sure that you are physically OK and things like you Thyroid and Iron etc are not contributing to your mood or weight disturbance.

Then I recommend that you start by being a bit kind to yourself and think about getting healthy in your mind and body. Don’t think just about weight loss, but think more about the person you want to be, your best self . So this might entail things like evaluating how you are looking after your self in whole lot of ways - Maybe its time for a tidy up of your room, and a start to a exercise regime that you like .. even walking is great .., join a group or club ( it doesnt have to cost a fortune, look at local councils or Laneways Learning ) doing a meditation app or class to try teach yourself to still your thoughts and develop mindfulness.( I promise it will help!)

Your friend who called you a walrus was simply out of line and I hope that one day you have the strength to calmly explain that its not ok to call people names that are potentially mean and explain how hurt you were at their thoughtlessness. But for the moment , its not about teaching them to be a better person , its about you being the best person YOU can be!

I highly recommend a book called “ If not dieting, then what” by Dr Rick Kausman . It gives a whole understanding of how to develop a healthy relationship with food and your body without resorting to sudden or extreme dieting which studies show is usually unsuccessful in the long run.

Good luck on your journey and I hope that you can see the angry outbursts as an alert that you are ready to tackle this on a better way.

[Chris_B]

Our next question is about panic attacks:

Hi Dr Kim. So I was diagnosed with anxiety four months ago after a frightening panic attack. My family doesn't understand what's going on. When I told them I had anxiety they ask me what I'm anxious about. How do I explain it to them when I don't even know my self?

[Dr_Kim]

I think it’s really hard for people to understand anxiety, especially when there’s no clear precipitating event. But in my experience, there is often not an obvious factor that causes people’s anxiety. It can be a mixture of genetics, personality, upbringing, and environmental factors that altogether cause these distressing symptoms.

The way I explain panic attacks to people – it’s an old primitive response from when we were cavemen and needed a really quick response to danger around us. So if we perceived a dangerous animal outside the cave, our systems would very quickly jump into a ‘danger’ response where certain hormones and chemicals would be pumped out to get us ready to either fight the danger, or run like hell. These fight or flight hormones, which are really helpful in that situation, are clearly not helpful when they happen at the wrong time, like when we’re just sitting on a tram, or at our desk at work.

It’s important to read up about anxiety and reassure yourself that this is real and common event for many people, and then explain to your family that symptoms that happen to you when you feel anxious are real and not imagined. Explain what they might be able to do to help you when you feel this way, eg. Go for a walk, have a cup of tea, etc.