Trying To Help My Partner

[Diddle28]

Hello, I hope this is the right place to ask this if not please point me in the right direction.

I am wanting to help my partner but I'm not sure how. He was sexually abused as a child, I don't know too many details as I don't want to pressure him into talking if he doesn't want to but how do I go about talking about it? Is there anything I should or shouldn't be saying?

I just don't know how to him.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Diddle28,

Welcome to the forums. We're so grateful that you have reached out here, we know that it is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important that you have. We're so sorry to hear what your partner has been through during his childhood, but we are glad that he has your support. We think you are very caring and thoughtful to be seeking support on how to help him through this. Please know that you've come to a safe space here, and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend getting in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit on our website www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport for online chat. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to give you some information and advice to help you and your partner.

You might also find helpful advice from 1800RESPECT on their page "How to support someone who has experienced sexual violence"

We hope that you keep checking back in with us to let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it.
 

[Croix]

Dear Diddle28~

Welcome here to the Support Form. I see Sophie_M has already given you two contacts that are professionals and deal with the problems you and you husband face. His of coourse are different from yours. I'd imagine you have the stress and worry about not being as close to him and helping him as you would want.

He is lucky to have such love in his life.

I did not have the same experiences as your husband but ended up in a bad way, with poor consequences. I had tried to keep going on my own for a very long time beforehand. but could go no further

There are two thngs you can do for your husband that will really make a difference.. The first is to encourage him to seek competent medical support by people that specialize in childhood abuse, typically a psychiatrist. The second is simply to be a welcoming loving haven, Not to push or ask but just to be.

That is the reason I finally opened up, it was to my wife as she was someone I trusted, knew loved me and would help.

I would be hapy if I knew that you had support yourself. This is an extremely hard thing for you to face -and may last quite a while. Is there any family or friend you can lean on? -It is most iportant as trying on oyur own is exceptionally hard.

I hope to hear from you again

Croix