Hi K_Ley
While they're in the process of supporting you, do you think you could look to them to also give you skills/tools/strategies? Maybe this is something they've already been doing in one way or another. For example, while serious anxiety takes hold sometimes it can be hard for us to strategically breathe on our own. Having someone sit beside us, helping us breathe through our thoughts and feelings, is like sharing in a breathing meditation while both doing the breath work together. The question could become 'Can they help me develop through a shared breathing meditation, to the point where I can eventually master this on my own'. Of course, there will always be next level stressors in life, based on this being the nature of life at times. Next level stressors might require a different practice or an added practice/skill.
I've found that within periods of depression, I just can't see the way forward at times. It's like a blank dark screen in my mind, which definitely doesn't help with depression. Wondering whether your support workers can possibly lead you in some way to be able to practice seeing differently, teaching you through the imagination, for example. If this is something that works for them at times, are they able to show you how they do it? Could you possibly learn this skill from them in some way to the point where it makes some difference on occasion?
If you began to see your support workers as your teachers or guides, do you think that may make a difference? Perhaps instead of 'I feel like I'm a burden' it could become 'I'm looking forward to more teachings and guidance. I'm looking forward to learning some thing new from them or practicing with them what I've learned so far'. Could it become a matter of 'I will practice with them 3 times a week' instead of 'I feel terrible contacting them 3 times in one week'. Of course, there may be a need for the occasional emergency practice session or a session to simply vent how you're feeling.
