struggling with special needs children

[Matchy69]

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

[Matchy69]

Hi Sleepy I think we're are so lucky to get that principle.She really has been good for my son and the school.I hope she will stay another two years and then my son is in high school and a new set of worries for us.The high school does have seperate classes a special needs teacher there.My daughter has survived there without needing to much support as others have.

Take care,

Mark.

[Boudica]

Hello,

Sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. Hope you are able to do something you enjoy today.

Yesterday I downloaded the iNaturalist app on my phone, and have been adding observation of little critters I found in my yard, and I even photographed a Cowfish that I saw in the lake. I like that other people help with an ID when you are not quite sure what it is too. I am planning to use it to try to get my son outside and moving a bit, as he tends to want to stay inside.

I get really down when I stay indoors a lot, probably because I grew up spending all my time outside around the creeks and paddocks, so it feels stifling after a while. It totally changes my frame of mind to be able to be outside.

My thoughts are with you.

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica I went into town this morning.I am glad to be home,I don't like going into town much these days.I feel very lonely and depressed lately.Even having the kids makes me lonely.It can be so full on mentally and physically at times.Just to have someone to talk to that understands what I am growing through.

Take care,

Mark.

[Boudica]

Hi Mark,

I understand what you mean about feeling lonely with your kids. I think it is because you are their support person, constantly giving, but you are not getting support from anywhere. I have felt the same. Caring for children is very different as a couple than on your own, and I know it can be really isolating parenting alone.

I get lonely too, but I also acknowledge that there is a world of people out there that I shun, so it's kinda my own fault. I can feel lonely surrounded by people though, because it is not just people that you need, it is understanding, so it has to be the right person.

Sorry if I am gloomy. Always happy to chat with you 🙂

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica I think it's people understanding what we are going through that we look for.A lot of people do not understand and know how draining and full on it is for us.I think talking to someone who is going through similar like you gives you some support and feeling of your not alone.I am so greatful for having kids when I thought I never would.

Take care,

Mark.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Mark and Boudaica

having kids is definitely something to be grateful for. I don't have children and can't see how i'll find a suitable partner as everyone i've been with before has been abusive or scary.
It mustbe hard at times, dealing with the school etc but it must be so rewarding. Kids need their parents to stand by them which you both do. Sending you stength in ur journey as parents

[Boudica]

Hi Mark and Sleepy,

I agree with all you have said. Though kids can be hard day to day, especially on your own, I am not sure I would have the same motivation to keep one foot in front of the other without them.

I found I was going to be a mum with my first son before I had even thought about having children (at 18), but it gave me the motivation to give up drinking immediately and try to pull myself together (I was a mess for a couple of years before that). My Dad never forgave me for having a child at that age though, and the rest of the world does not look kindly upon young mums either. When I look back, it was probably a selfish decision on my part, but I know I could not make any other choice at the time. My first son was 13 by the time I had my second.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sleepy and Boudica I was a bit older when I became a parent in my 30s and in my 40s when my son was born.I felt like a single parent even when I was married as my wife at the time would go shopping everyday all day which made it so hard financially for us.The kids have bought me so much joy despite their special needs when it can be so hard at times.We keep fighting on even though we want to give up some times but we don't.I found this site as another way of coping and talking about how I am struggling at times.

The news with my son is he is back to his normal self and seems to have recovered so hopefully he doesn't get worst again.

My daughter main focus is her school formal that is in September.Her mother will be taking her shopping for a dress tomorrow.

Take care,

Mark

[Boudica]

Hello Sleepy and Mark,

I hope you had a great day today. I am stressed, as I have a lot of uni work to do and really sick of being at my desk! I tried sitting outside for a change, but was just to glary on my laptop screen. I have been replying to some posts here to rest my brain. lol

Wow Mark, your ex-wife must really like shopping! Or perhaps it was her way to hide from stress? Not fond of shopping personally......doing it every day seems like an odd kind of torture - unless it was plants (though I think I would tire of that pretty quick)! I was single with my first son (his father was a creepy guy who was a friend of my housemate that was more that a decade older than me, who took advantage when I was under the influence). I was not single with the second but got little help from my ex too (he vanished a lot too - not shopping though).

I am so glad your son is doing well. How exciting for your daughter, formals seem to be such a big deal these days. I hope she finds a dress she feels great wearing, girls are usually so self conscious about their bodies and clothes.

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica I can understand you being so stressed with your study.I know I would struggle with it.

I managed to get out in the vegie garden until it started to rain.I will probably have a full on day tomorrow with my son.Feeling depressed tonight.I have been having a bit of a cry swishing things could have been a bit different with some things.

Take care,

Mark.