struggling with special needs children

[Matchy69]

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica and Jstar,my daughter only speaks with immediate family and speaks to no one at school.She has a group of friends she hangs around with but didn't talk to.
I will start looking into options for my daughter for next year.We still don't know what's causing her stomach pain wether it is just anxiety though I feel like it is medical.
I don't think we had much help or advice with her selective mutism.The pychiatrist never seemed to worry about it and now we are coming to the end of her schooling days and wishing we maby did more for it.The teachers all got use to it.She recorded her English orals on a laptop.Shes managed to get through 13 years of schooling without talking at all at school.
Take care,
Mark.

[Boudica]

Hello, I kind of like that your daughter was accepted as she was, rather than have people trying to fix her, it's quite comforting. I think change can only come from within, rather than being imposed from outside. I was really frustrated at how trapped it made me feel, that's why I decided to work on it. There was a really hard line between my inner world where I existed, and the outer world and it felt at times impenetrable I wonder how your daughter feels about it? As she moves toward greater independence it is likely to impact her more though. I think as a parent the only thing you really care about is her happiness, but only she can know

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica it is really hard to know how she feels about it.I have tried talking to her about it and she clams up and goes silent.It surprising how people do get through life with disabilities like that.They seem to find away so they don't have to speak.At least she does talk to immediate family.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark, I see you're a valued contributor, congrats. I was hoping you'd become one. Great job.

[Matchy69]

Thanks Tayla and thankyou for being so kind and supportive on here to.The first trophy I got since my World's Greatest Dad Trophy that my kids gave me. .

[Jstar49]

Hi Mark, wave to Tayla,

hey that’s awesome Mark!
well done for noticing Tayla!

that reminds me of a funny story. Once when I was helping to organise a Father’s Day stall, we ordered some trophies among other things for the kids to buy. They were so popular that they sold out on pre orders and lots of kids missed out. Devastated!
my child was so determined that dad would get a trophy she made one herself, from toilet rolls. Her dad had to try and look suitably impressed, which he struggled to do lol!

Kids choose the funniest things! Shows what they think of you Mark 🙂

cheers,

J*

[Matchy69]

Hi Jstar the things the kids buy from those stalls is always interesting .A home made trophy sounds amazing as it is made with love.They will be doing the mother's Day stall when the kids go back after holidays.Allmost mother's Day again.

[Boudica]

Hey Good Morning Mark,

Congratulations on your award, I know it is well deserved. You were the first to reply to me when I reached out to the forum, and it really helped to to feel less alone in my struggle with the past. Never underestimate the difference you make in people's lives by being here. Have a nice day 🙂

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica thankyou for your kind words.And thankyou for your support on here.Your advice is always appreciated.
Take care,
Mark.

[Boudica]

Good Morning Mark,

Sorry for the slow reply, I have been away helping to cook for students on camp (I have sore hands from stirring big cauldrons of food for 5 days straight!!!).

I have been on the forums only a very short time, and it is really good to feel that I am not alone, and that there are so many others that share similar experiences of life, and it is comforting to have a place to talk about things that I wouldn't in my regular life.

However, I also find I get a sort of creeping sadness when I read through a lot of people's stories. Although I can relate to many, I feel their despair and I want to help, but feel powerless to make any difference. I get a bit overwhelmed and despondent that there is so much suffering. I also get angry that there are so many treacherous and abusive people out there that leave behind these destroyed lives in their wake. Sometimes I read posts and I want to respond to people but I really don't know what to say because I just feel sad for their situation and can't offer anything useful.

I have noticed how widely and consistently you spread your support of others on this forum. How do you keep giving and supporting people without it overwhelming you? How do you look after your own inner peace?