Struggling mum of daughter with social anxiety

[Blu_Frankie]

Hi, first time posting so bear with me..

I have a 15yo daughter who suffers from Social Anxiety. She left school mid year last year and has registered as homeschooling.Wev been 'unschooling' though as I can't get her motivated to actually do anything.

She hates going anywhere so starting a course isn't going to happen. As she hates talking to anyone other than me or her brothers.. she's only now after 4yrs starting open up to my partner...

I guess I just need advice on what I can do to help her? I hate seeing her licked away in her bedroom alone all the time. (She stays in there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone)

[Fairywings]

Hello there lovely and welcome xx nice to meet you xx this is a challenging one especially because your daughter is regressing. The fact that she is opening up to your partner is a good thing and the fact that it has taken her 4yrs to do so is showing she is finding it hard to trust which is common amongst adolescents her age. Given that she is only engaging with family atm suggest that she keep a diary that way she can vent about anything and everything whenever she feels the need too. I would also be giving headspace a call they maybe able to give you guidance youth support and advocacy service you can just Google them for contact details they work with adolescents bw the ages of 12 to 25yrs old. I know they do outreach as well so they will come to her. It's always hard to know what is bothering them when they don't talk openly and I know as her mother you would do anything to see her free from her demons xx she can talk online to the counselor her if that's a step she may accept that way she doesn't have to be face to face atm so to speak and to get to the underlying reason as to why she has regressed can be quite challenging on your own xx I wish you all the best you could also try and see if a gp will do a home visit for you she may need to be referred on for some extra help xx please take care of yourself and keep reaching out to us we are all here for you xx Venessa

[Zeal]

Hi Blu_Frankie,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter's having a tough time because of the social anxiety. Not being willing and able to participate in home-school is a concern. Her overall wellbeing is also being negatively affected by her chronic social anxiety. Thankfully she is able to talk fairly openly to you and her brothers. Having this stable family support is crucial, so I'm glad she has this. What you are already doing is great - being supportive and providing a safe and stable family environment. Getting professional help is also important, if you haven't done so already. Going to a doctor (GP) with your daughter is a good place to start. The GP may refer her to a suitable mental health professional, such as a counsellor or psychologist.

These Beyondblue webpages (from Healthy Families website) are worth checking out:

https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/age-13/mental-health-conditions-in-young-people/professional-support-and-treatment

https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/seeking-support/helping-yourself-and-others/supporting-children-and-young-people

https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/seeking-support/helping-yourself-and-others/helping-yourself

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Guest_989]

What would happen if she was near someone who is extroverted? Would she engage with them?

Does she have a pen pal? Friends?

[MsPurple]

Hi Blu_Frankie and welcome to the forums. I commend you for coming her and showing support for your daughter. It can be hard trying to help and being lost on what to do. I think what fairywings and zeal have said is really good advice.

Have you taken her to see a GP or counsellor about her anxiety. I think in approaching it and getting support this would be a good step to take. As fairwings said there are services for younger individuals however they need to see a GP to get a referral to these services. Another service I would recommend is Headspace. It is a youth mental health service for people aged 12-25. It is a low cost/free service. I have used this service myself while I was at uni and I found it very helpful. They have a range of health workers including GP, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, OT etc. Some headspaces even have group counselling sessions for school aged individuals which maybe helpful for anxiety. I think it is something you should look into. Google headspace and call up your local headspace. If not there is also a eheadspace service that can be accessed online.