Dear Jaclyn
We know your story would resonate with so many other parents. Your concern, your care and your desire to help your son are evident as you share your story.
There were a couple of things that really stood out – the first one being the open communication that you share with your son. You have sought our advice and used your own instincts to encourage your son to open up to you. This gift you have given him is so important. Do you best to keep these channels of communication open, even if you feel like you are running out of answers. Being able to listen, show your support and talk things through keeps him connected to you – and connection plays an big role in recovery.
But what else can you say? Often it also helps to offer a different perspective or to gently question why they think about things in the way they do – how do you know that’s true or how else could you look at that? The psychologist has probably talked to you about this – they are strategies you can use to challenge unhelpful thinking. It is also important in these conversations to keep encouraging him to set himself small achievable goals each day. This might seem out of reach some days but on other days you can together acknowledge his achievements and reflect on how this has helped his mood, even if at first they are just small changes. Maybe even his friends could help in small ways to get him doing things – remembering to start small.
You also talk about your frustration at getting support for your son. Sadly this is another experience shared by many families. The network of support services varies greatly depending upon where you live. It is unclear from your post who your son is currently seeing but if you are looking for a new approach for him then headspace or a new therapist might be an option. Headspace (if there is one in your area) offers a range of services specific to young adults and helps them to connect with employment, study, health professionals and other young people. His professionals can talk through his options for care, review his medication and help him get through this very rough time. It sounds like you would be interested in a short term accommodation option for him too but there a very few options when it comes to this. If you have private health cover it is probably a conversation to have with his health team. But of course, if you are ever worried about him having thoughts of suicide there are crisis services linked with most major hospitals.
Jaclyn we would like to commend you on your commitment and support for your son. We know that this can take you on your own emotional journey and because of this it is also important that you have support from friends and family, and when needed from health professionals too. Our forums might be able to help you with this too.
This can be a long journey for your son – with ups and downs in the way, but you are doing so much to help him. At times this might not seem enough but just keep persevering and keep believing that things can change. We say this knowing that it is a tough road to travel but so many people, like your son, experience recovery. You have commented that he has been better in the past and there is no reason why this will not happen again once this down time passes. Know that you have the support of so many people around you and now on this forum.
I hope you continue to post here and talk to our other members, and if you need to talk to a professional please call our support service at any time on 1300 22 4636.
