Severely depressed husband coming off meds

[Bijou15]

Severely depressed husband coming off anti depression meds. How do I deal with his moods and aggression towards me plus he is heavily drinking to cope. I have a 2 year old son that I'm trying to raise amongst all of this! I need some advice?

[geoff]

dear Bijou, another very good question, and thank you for posting it.

If he is stopping his medication and relying on alcohol and shows signs of aggression and change of moods, then personally I do fear for your safety and I certainly hope that this won't include your 2 year old.

Many people can handle alcohol, but there is an enormous amount that can't, as I have seen this in two pubs I ran, however I used alcohol when in depression but I was certainly NOT violent, and never have been and I actually detest it, but that's me and not your husband.

I don't know if he is still working, but I definitely do worry for you and your son, and when he finally stops the medication then he will probably need to drink more, which will intensify his moods and aggression.

I'm not sure of your financials and don't want to know, only if you are struggling or just coping and whether you rent or paying off a house, and please remember only answer if you want to.

The only reason I have asked this is because I am thinking about your choices of what to do, and what I believe you should do.

In the meantime I would suggest that you and your 2 year son move out, or alternatively tell him to move out until he gets his act into key.

I really want to talk to you some more, so I really hope that you can get back to us. L Geoff. x

[Kennaugh8]

Hi Bijou15 and welcome to the BeyondBlue community! 

Helping someone who is recovering from depression or any mental illness can be a very difficult situation to handle. Having a strong support network around you is important, particularly given that you also have a young child that you are raising. If you have any immediate family who can help you by looking after your child every now and then, it may help free up some of your time to help your husband. 

If you have ever felt threatened or in danger of being harmed, it may be worth telling him that you need some time away from him until his behaviour settles down. As much as you want to help him through this, your safety should never be compromised. 

Has he been back to see his GP to talk about some strategies to cope with coming off his medication? Maybe suggest to him that he see a psychologist to learn new ways to cope that don't involve drinking. Attending these sessions with your husband will not only show him that you are in this together but it will also help you with managing the more difficult situations when his moods changes.

As I mentioned before, creating a support network around yourself will definitely help you help your husband. But if at any stage, you feel like you or your child are in danger of being harmed, you should leave.

I hope things settle down quickly for you.

Chris

[Bijou15]

Thank you for your support and advice. Things are still really hard, especially the depression and moods. He hasn't been drinking lately which is a relief - I'm just trying to stay positive and look after him without getting on his nerves too much. He is not violent when drinking just hard to communicate with and he gets argumentative- I just go upstairs when he is like this but like I said he hasn't drunk much of late because some of the side effects are subsiding. It's just so hard because he is too exhausted to even get out of bed or interact with us. 

[Bijou15]

Thank you for your help. Things are somewhat better but the depression is very bad. He saw the GP today which is good and is not drinking at the moment.we are all just trying to co-exist at the moment but it is very frustrating for me at the moment because I feel like I'm a single mother and doing everything myself. I'm trying to look after my husband but he doesn't really want to interact all that much through this because he's feeling so horrible. Every time I interact he says I'm annoying him so I'm trying to let him be but still asking if he's ok and can I do anything g for him. It is a very hard time and I hope he is back to his old self after taking these anti-depressants for the last 5 years. I will talk to him about checking in with his psychologist.