I've been with my partner for just over two years and we've had our ups and downs. He's always known i struggle with mental health, depression and anxiety but we've always just dealt with it, i see a psychologist and havent taken meds since January, i've been improving.
The problem, is that my partner now is the one really struggling with depression. Looking back over the last 10-12 months, it has been progressively getting worse and it's really affected our relationship. He is not the talking type, refuses to talk to me and just doesn't have the skills to do it. I've finally managed to get him to realise he's not himself and hasn't been for a long time and has seen the GP and been given meds. He's only been taking them for two weeks so i realise they haven't had time to start working properly.
I'm struggling because he continues to do things to
hurt me. It's little stuff every day like being inconsiderate, thoughtless, snappy, withdrawing, and generally behaving very uncaring, unloving towards me and is unable to support me or show me any love when i need it myself. I have been continually showing him love, support, understanding, patience, encouragement and reassurance but it's never enough. He'll have a good few days here and there which raises my hope but then he'll suddenly go down hill again.
It's now at a stage where he doesn't seem to care at all about anything, including me and our relationship. I've told him he's breaking my heart and he just doesn't seem to care. He's finally told me he feels like a robot and is struggling to feel anything. I've realised i've been personalising everything he's been doing, feeling like it's me, he doesn't love me any more and he doesn't care about me. Which is and has been particularly hurtful.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. I feel like we need a break for him to get his head straight, figure out what he really wants, give the meds time to work, but he has no where to go and i'm worried it will make him go further down hill. I understand he's in the grips of depression and isn't simply choosing to be uncaring etc, but i'm really hurting and am fed up!
I know i need to take care of myself, and my children, and try and make life as normal as possible for them, but this is consuming me, the hurt, the anxiety, the pain, i can't focus on anything else and i really don' t know what to do. He needs help, but he can't communicate and is afraid of doctors. I love him to bits, i'm lost.
